Today, I was thinking that after 10 years what thoughts will pass my mind…
I could list down the following ones
1) Do I continue with this company or time to switch?
2) Is it a time to switch the industry and get into other profession?
3) Shall I get married?
4) Is it a correct time to invest in stocks now?
5) Hmm, I will retire soon
6) What is the purpose of life?
7) Now, I really need to work out for gaining stamina
8) I should restrict myself from eating outside for a better health
9) Let me save some more money now and spend later
10) Wasn’t I thinking the same 10 years back? Have I not progressed yet?
11) May be, this is the right time to think and implement.
12) Once time permits let me take a break, go somewhere and discuss with self
13) Getting influenced is so easy
Friday, October 23, 2009
2. Passing Thoughts...
Last few weeks, my thought process has been killing me umpteen times. At the end, everything is useless then why do I wanna be this and that and what not?
Then there is a fight – one mind says “You are just procrastinating and being lazy about things”. The other says “The reason you wanna be this and that is to be popular and flaunt your ego thereafter”.
Not coming to a logical conclusion (as can’t figure out which mind is correct) makes me feel miserable and I end up doing nothing but simply get frustrated and lie down thinking everything is futile. More I think the life is empty and meaningless, more I get drowned in depressing thoughts. Don’t like to get involved everywhere and anywhere and then suddenly something comes up (work, social, pathshala, friends, etc) and I attempt to get involved and kill some time there. 30 years have spent and I really don’t know how many are left but I certainly do not see that there are many. What am I doing? Where am I heading towards? Will I be able to face the death head-on? How will I feel when I don’t want to die and will have to quit this world? How will be the experience when these many years of attachment will suddenly be detached for good? Am I lost? Do I still want to pen down more questions? Am I still looking for new words to add? Do I want to re-arrange all the questions after already arranging them twice? Am I getting a thought of how people will feel reading all this silly things? When I die, what will I take with me? Why don’t I understand the mysteries of self? Are these soul-searching questions or just the questions asked to get involved in thoughts and kill some more time?
PS: On a lighter note, somebody told me last week, if you kill time right now, time will kill you soon. I said – I will rather prefer to kill time right now so that time won’t exist to kill me back. It was pretty weird but we both ended up laughing out loud as we were happy we did kill some time :)
Then there is a fight – one mind says “You are just procrastinating and being lazy about things”. The other says “The reason you wanna be this and that is to be popular and flaunt your ego thereafter”.
Not coming to a logical conclusion (as can’t figure out which mind is correct) makes me feel miserable and I end up doing nothing but simply get frustrated and lie down thinking everything is futile. More I think the life is empty and meaningless, more I get drowned in depressing thoughts. Don’t like to get involved everywhere and anywhere and then suddenly something comes up (work, social, pathshala, friends, etc) and I attempt to get involved and kill some time there. 30 years have spent and I really don’t know how many are left but I certainly do not see that there are many. What am I doing? Where am I heading towards? Will I be able to face the death head-on? How will I feel when I don’t want to die and will have to quit this world? How will be the experience when these many years of attachment will suddenly be detached for good? Am I lost? Do I still want to pen down more questions? Am I still looking for new words to add? Do I want to re-arrange all the questions after already arranging them twice? Am I getting a thought of how people will feel reading all this silly things? When I die, what will I take with me? Why don’t I understand the mysteries of self? Are these soul-searching questions or just the questions asked to get involved in thoughts and kill some more time?
PS: On a lighter note, somebody told me last week, if you kill time right now, time will kill you soon. I said – I will rather prefer to kill time right now so that time won’t exist to kill me back. It was pretty weird but we both ended up laughing out loud as we were happy we did kill some time :)
1. Passing Thoughts - A Verse
Today, I want to have all that I crave
This want will dwell till I reach the grave
Endless desires make me run and rave
Now is the time to stop, am I enough brave?
Don’t know why I don’t realize, I have all that I deserve
With the worldly influence, I just want to break my nerve
Running behind everything, I simply squander the verve
How much ever I collect, there is nothing I can reserve
This want will dwell till I reach the grave
Endless desires make me run and rave
Now is the time to stop, am I enough brave?
Don’t know why I don’t realize, I have all that I deserve
With the worldly influence, I just want to break my nerve
Running behind everything, I simply squander the verve
How much ever I collect, there is nothing I can reserve
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