There are moments
when I pause and observe; not the world outside, but the quiet movement within.
And in that observation, these two verses from Shri AtmaSiddhi Shastra begin to
unfold, not as philosophy, but as a mirror to my own inner state (which is actually "me").
Verse 78:
ચેતન જો નિજભાનમાં કર્તા આપ સ્વભાવ,
વર્તે નહીં નિજભાનમાં, કર્તા કર્મ પ્રભાવ.
Chetan jo
nijbhaan ma karta aap swabhaav,
Varte nahi
nijbhaan ma, karta karm prabhaav.
Verse 121:
કર્તા ભોક્તા કર્મનો વિભાવ વર્તે જ્યાંય,
વૃત્તિ વહી નિજભાવમાં, થયો અકર્તા ત્યાંય.
Karta bhogta karm
no vibhaav varte jyaay,
Vrutti vahi
nijbhaav ma, thayo akarta tyaay.
Considering Verse
78 to start with…
The soul, in its
purest sense, is nothing but awareness i.e. knowing, seeing, being. When it
rests in this awareness, in Nijbhaan, it remains established in its own nature.
It does not become anything else. It does not carry the burden of action. It
simply knows.
The shift is
subtle, almost imperceptible in the exterior.
There can be subtle
instances where I experience that I am investing an effort of being aware
(albeit in the practice). However, soon as I am not rooted in that inner
knowing, this awareness loosens. I begin to slip. Not outwardly perhaps, but
inwardly. I start identifying. With thoughts. With emotions. With roles. And in
that identification, I unknowingly step into doership.
Now I am not just
witnessing anger; I am angry.
Not just seeing a
situation; I am affected by it.
And that is where
the second line becomes real:
Varte nahi Nijbhaan
ma, karta karm prabhaav.
In the absence of
awareness, I am no longer acting from my nature. I am being driven. Influenced.
Pulled by karmic forces already in motion. And in reacting to them, with raag,
dwesh, moh, I bind more.
The cycle quietly
continues.
The verse 121 deepens
this understanding:
Karta bhogta karm
no vibhaav varte jyaay,
Vrutti vahi Nijbhaav
ma, thayo akarta tyaay.
In this state of
vibhaav, this unnatural, outward-turned condition, I see myself as the doer and
the consumer. I act, I react, I feel, I suffer, I enjoy. Life becomes a
continuous chain of cause and effect, and I remain entangled within it.
Am I thinking to
stop the action or consumption?
Well, the
transformation does not come merely by stopping action. It comes by shifting
the direction of my vrutti i.e. my inner tendency.
Vrutti vahi
nijbhaav ma…
When the flow
turns inward…
When attention
settles back into its source…
When I begin to
remain aware, not intellectually, but directly…
Something
changes. Transformation is in the making…
Actions still
happen.
Words are still
spoken.
Life continues in
its full movement.
But within, a
distance emerges; not created… but revealed.
And in that, the
verse concludes:
Thayo akarta
tyaay.
The doer
dissolves.
This is where the
paradox becomes clear.
I may still be
playing my role in this world, just like an actor on a stage. The emotions may
be intense, the dialogues powerful, the involvement complete. But somewhere
within, there is a quiet, unwavering knowing:
“This is a role. This is not me.”
The actor
performs fully but does not become the character.
Similarly, when
awareness is present, life can be lived fully, but without ownership. Without
entanglement.
And yet, even
this analogy has its limitation.
Because the soul
is not merely an actor standing apart from the role. It is more like a mirror (and rather beyond that as it reflects self and everything else)..
A mirror reflects
everything placed before it, be it fire, water, movement, stillness. But it
remains untouched. The fire does not burn it.
Only if the
mirror were to imagine, “I am burning,” would the illusion begin.
That imagination…
is Delusion i.e. Moh.
So, the essence
of both these verses, when seen together, becomes deeply personal.
The soul does not
become bound because it acts.
It becomes bound
because it identifies.
And liberation is
not about withdrawing from action, but about dissolving this false
identification.
When I am not
aware, I am carried by karma.
When I am aware,
I remain in my nature.
The actions may
look the same from outside.
But within,
everything has changed.
In the end, it
all returns to one simple, uncompromising truth:
When I forget
myself, I become the doer.
When I remain in
myself, I am only the knower.
And perhaps, the
entire journey, from bondage to liberation, rests in this one shift:
From involvement…
to Awareness!
