3. Determination (Nirnay)?!.

Over time I have come across many swadhyays (sermons), scriptures, books, and pieces of spiritual literature that are extremely powerful and deeply thought-provoking.

Spiritual mentors, teachers, and sacred texts consistently invest immense energy and effort in guiding seekers and in raising awareness about the true purpose of life. The intention behind such teachings i.e. the upliftment and awakening of each soul is very evident.

For this continuous guidance that flows through various mentors, scriptures, and traditions over long periods of time, I feel deeply grateful, though words are inadequate to fully express that gratitude.

One of the most unique aspects of Jain philosophy is that even if I am blessed with the presence of God, Guru, and compassionate spiritual guides, ultimately nothing will change unless I walk the path myself.

In my case, I can only say:

“Aayu bhoge vadhe chhe sansaar.” (Sansaar is increasing at the cost of this life)

As days pass, I observe that cravings (raag), aversions (dwesh), delusion (moh), attachment (potaapanu), and the sense of doership (kartapanu) often remain intact and sometimes even grow stronger. There seems to be very little real brake applied on either my internal or external parigrah.

There is still no firm determination (nirnay) to truly attack and weaken moh, raag, and dwesh.

I also realise that I have subtly compartmentalized life into sansaar and adhyatma.

Spending a few hours in spiritual activity and the rest of the day immersed in worldly involvement can sometimes create the illusion that meaningful progress is being made.

However, when I introspect honestly, this appears to be a misunderstanding. If ignorance (agnaan) remains intact, the attraction toward infinite worldly existence continues every fraction of a second.

What is truly required is to weave adhyatma into life in such a way that externally it may appear that worldly life continues as usual, but internally a transformation begins. Gradually the deeper enemies aham (ego) and mamatva (mineness) begin to weaken.

Often there is a tendency to speak about discipline, vows, and spiritual practices. But upon deeper reflection it becomes evident that many of these efforts may remain at a superficial level. At times, vows and practices may even strengthen my external image, while the inner determination for genuine transformation remains weak.

This realization itself serves as a reminder that unless there is a clear and sincere determination (nirnay) to dissolve the inner sansaar, the mind can easily create subtle consolations that generate a sense of satisfaction without real progress.

There is a sincere wish to continue the effort that is currently being made in spiritual practice and even increase it. But more importantly, the real work lies in living with constant alertness, awareness, and mindfulness — satatam, nityam, chiram.

Once again, deep gratitude arises for all the time, energy, wisdom, and compassion that spiritual mentors, sacred literature, and divine guidance continuously offer to me.

Whether transformation actually happens or not ultimately depends on how sincerely I act upon this guidance.

If no real action is taken, the loss is entirely mine; and it would also mean failing to honor the immense efforts and energies that countless mentors and teachings have invested in awakening this understanding.