14. The Infinite Journey - Conclusion but not the End.

In continuation with the previous blog (https://so-what-dilip.blogspot.com/2026/03/12-infinite-journey-continues.html)....

Having seen that the Soul, from the empirical standpoint, functions as the doer (karta) and consumer (bhokta), a fundamental question becomes unavoidable:

If this cycle of doing and experiencing has continued since beginningless time,
does it ever end?

And if it does:
What exactly ends, and what remains?

The earlier understanding makes one thing clear:
Bondage is not accidental.
It is structured, continuous, and self-sustained through identification with arising states.

If that is so, then liberation cannot be an event of chance, grace, or external intervention.
It must be a precise reversal of the very mechanism that sustains bondage.

At this point, the 5th and 6th propositions of the Soul become relevant:

• The Soul is Liberation (Moksha)

• The Soul is the Path to Liberation

This requires careful understanding.

Liberation is not something the Soul becomes.
Nor is it something newly produced.

The Soul, in its intrinsic nature, is already free from all karmic attributes.

What is called bondage is the association with karmic modifications.
What is called liberation is the complete cessation of that association.

Therefore, the question is no longer philosophical.

It becomes immediate and practical:

If the Soul is already pure in its nature,
What sustains the impurity in experience?

And more importantly,
What exactly must change NOW for that to dissolve?

---

The Question of Karma and Its End

The inevitable change is the complete cessation of karma.

But the difficulty is evident:

If both good (shubh) and bad (ashubh) karmas are constantly being attracted and accumulated,
and if this accumulation has continued from beginningless time,
how does one ever become free?

And further...
how long would such a process take?

At first glance, the task appears immeasurable.

However, a critical insight must be understood:

Just as karmas bear fruits for the soul,
the cessation of karmas is also a real and effective process.

Yes, infinite time has been spent in shubh and ashubh states.
But transcendence need not operate on the same axis as accumulation.

Accumulation is gradual.
Cessation, once and when rightly initiated, could be transformational.

(This is elaborated further down below)

---

The Mechanism of Bondage

Karma does not bind randomly.

Its principal causes are:

• Attachment

• Aversion

• Indulgence

• Likes and dislikes

• Ignorance (fundamental misidentification)

These are not superficial tendencies.
They are the core knots that sustain karmic continuity.

As long as identification persists, bondage persists.

---

The Mechanism of Release

The weakening of these knots begins with:

• Awareness

• Inner alertness

• Remaining established as a conscious knower

With sustained practice, this evolves into:

A state where the individual increasingly abides as the witness of all experiences.

This shift is critical.

Because karma binds not due to action alone,
but due to identification with action and experience.

As witnessing stabilizes, identification weakens.
As identification weakens, bondage loosens.

This is not theoretical.
It is a functional shift in the mode of being.

---

The Apparent Difficulty

Yet, a serious doubt arises:

If the karmic accumulation is of beginningless time (anant kaal),
then even gradual weakening appears insufficient.

The process seems extremely slow, tedious, and disproportionate to the scale of bondage.

This doubt is valid, but incomplete.

---

The Critical Insight: The Role of Right Vision

A profound analogy given in Shri Atmasiddhi Shaastra by revered Shrimad Rajchandra ji resolves this:

A dream may span millions of years,
yet it disappears instantly upon awakening.

Similarly,
delusion of beginningless time
dissolves immediately upon the emergence of Right Vision (Samyak Darshan).

This is the turning point.

The process is not merely gradual erosion.
It includes a discontinuous shift.

---

From Knowledge to Right Knowledge

Effort is required and is mandatory, but its direction must be precise.

This effort includes:

• Study of scriptures

• Contemplation and understanding

• Devotion

• Austerities

• Ethical and disciplined living

However, all of this, by itself, is still within the domain of Knowledge (Gyaan), not necessarily Right Knowledge (Samyak Gyaan).

The transformation happens through one decisive factor:

Right Vision (Samyak Darshan)

The moment Right Vision arises:

• Knowledge becomes Right Knowledge

• Devotion becomes Right Devotion

• Conduct becomes Right Conduct

Without this, even noble and virtuous actions remain within the domain of Shubh Karma.

Shubh Karma refines outer experience, worldly comforts, path to the beneficial inclination.
It does not directly terminate bondage.

---

The Subtle but Essential Shift

Therefore, the instruction is not to abandon action.

Actions may and should continue.

But simultaneously, there must be:

A continuous weaving of awareness
An uninterrupted inner orientation toward the witnessing self

This sustained awareness creates the condition
for the emergence of Right Vision.

---

The Gateway

And this is the decisive statement:

Samyak Darshan is the gateway to liberation.

It is not symbolic.
It is functional.

It marks the transition from:

• Identification → Observation

• Bondage → Dissolution

• Knowledge → Right Knowledge

---

What is Liberation?

Liberation (Moksha) is not a place.

It is not a destination in space or time.

It is the state of Purity of the Self.

As stated in Shri Atmasiddhi Shaastra:

“Moksh Kahyo Nij Shuddhata, Te Paame Te Panth…”
Liberation is one’s own pure nature;
the path is that which leads to its realization.

---

Closing Reflection

This journey is not limited to a doctrine, a community, or a belief system.

It is the most fundamental journey of the soul:

From identification
To awareness
From awareness
To Right Vision
From Right Vision
To complete freedom

The soul, bound since beginningless time,
continues its journey across infinite cycles.

But the same soul,
upon right understanding and right vision,
is capable of complete freedom.

The question, therefore, is no longer about time.

It is about clarity.

And that clarity, once seen, Transforms everything.

13. Mahavir.

I Am Mahavir’s Past, and Mahavir Is My Future

“I am Mahavir’s past,
and Mahavir is my future.”

These words are not symbolic. They point to a profound truth about the nature of the soul.

What Mahavir became is not a miracle reserved for one being; it is the potential of every soul.

---

At the core, the soul is Pure. Eternal, conscious, and inherently free.
Yet, in its journey through beginningless time, it becomes covered with layers of karma; subtle, self-bound, and deeply ingrained.

Mahavir did not become something new.
He realized what he truly was.

He saw “Mahavir” not as an identity, but as a paryay; a temporary state.
His focus was not on the name, the body, or the role; but on the soul beyond all of it.

And through that unwavering clarity, he became free.

---

But this did not happen suddenly.

The journey was long.
The path was not straight.
The obstacles were many.

So what made the difference?

Determination.

A clear, irreversible decision (Nirnay).

Mahavir recognized a truth:

That remaining “potentially pure” is not enough.
The goal is to become actually pure.

A pure soul does not fluctuate.
It does not depend on circumstances.
It exists in a state of infinite knowledge, perception, bliss, and energy; and not for a moment, but forever (Endlessly).

---

Born as Vardhaman, even he carried karmic baggage; just like I do.

But somewhere, across many past lives, a shift had already occurred.
A deep inner awakening had begun.

The journey of cleansing had started long before his final birth.

And in that final life, his purusharth (intense, conscious effort) aligned perfectly with his nirnay (firm inner conviction).

That alignment changed everything.

---

From renunciation to omniscience, milestones came and passed.

But Mahavir was never attached to milestones.

His destination was clear: complete liberation from all karmic bondage.

And he attained it.

---

He did not merely preach philosophy.

He shared experience.

He revealed a simple yet uncompromising truth:

There are only two directions in this beginningless existence:

• To remain entangled in karmic bondage; endlessly cycling through birth and death

• Or to free oneself completely; and exist forever in a state of pure, formless liberation

No body.
No karma.
No dependency.

Only the soul, in its absolute nature; Experiencing infinite bliss, infinitely, without interruption.

---

Today, as I celebrate "Mahavir Janma Kalyanak", a deeper question arises:

Why do I remember Mahavir?

Is it celebration?
Reverence?
Tradition?

And / Or do I strongly want to correct others who mention "Mahavir Jayanti"

OR

Is it a reminder?

---

If I only celebrate Mahavir, but do not walk the path he revealed,
then I remain where I am; rotating within merit and demerit, pleasure and pain.

But if I remember him with the intent to become what he became,
then remembrance becomes transformation.

---

Mahavir is not someone to be worshipped from a distance.

He is a possibility to be realized.

---

“I am Mahavir’s past”—
because in his past, like my today's state, he had a karmic baggage.

“Mahavir is my future”—
because the same soul, when awakened, purified, and freed,
must arrive at that very state.

---

So today is not just a celebration.

It is a moment of honest introspection.

Am I merely remembering?
Or am I preparing?

---

The path is not for a day.
It is not for a ritual.
It is not for appearance.

It is a constant awareness; a continuous purusharth.

---

To remember Mahavir is to remember my own highest possibility.

And to live that remembrance,
until it becomes my reality.

---

12. The Infinite Journey continues...

 The Infinite Journey continues...

Understanding Doership and Experience

In the immediate previous blog (https://so-what-dilip.blogspot.com/2026/03/11-infinite-journey.html), the focus was on the core principle that the Soul is the Knower since infinity (beginningless time) and that it has an association with Karma.

Due to this association, from the empirical standpoint, the Soul has been continuously identifying the “self” with karma and thereby slipping into the zone of doership in an almost uninterrupted manner.

Since the Soul is involved in this association and experiences the effects of Karma through its states, another perspective opens up. This connects to the 3rd and 4th propositions out of the six fundamental propositions of the Soul.

The Six Propositions:

Soul exists

Soul is permanent (no beginning and no end)

Soul is the Doer

Soul is the Experiencer (Bhogta)

Soul is Liberation

Soul is the path to Liberation

The first 2 were largely covered in the previous one with regards to the "real identity" and the "infinite journey"

Let's ponder over 3 and 4 here.

3. The Soul is the Doer

All substances undergo modifications (Paryay).

Every substance is known along with its states.

The Soul too undergoes modifications; even at the most subtle level, such as thoughts, inclinations, and internal movements.

From this perspective, it is called a doer. However, this doership is understood in three distinct ways:

a. From the Absolute Standpoint (Nischay):

The Soul is the doer only of its own intrinsic modifications — its pure knowing and seeing nature.

b. From the Empirical Standpoint (Vyavahār Naya):

In relation to karmic association, the Soul is said to be the doer of karmic actions.

c. From the Conventional Standpoint (Upchār):

The Soul is said to be the doer of external activities like building, creating, acting in the world.

4. The Soul is the Consumer (Bhogta)

Every action has a result. This is evident.

From poison comes the result of poison

From sugar comes sweetness

Just as touching fire inevitably leads to burning, in the same way, inner states such as anger, attachment, and aversion give rise to corresponding results.

These results are experienced.

Thus, from the empirical standpoint, the Soul, being associated with these states, is also called the consumer (bhokta).

The Turning Point in the Journey:

Having understood these two propositions, the journey now presents two clear directions:

I. Continuing in Bondage

The Soul, being eternal and beginningless, continues its journey with karmic accumulation; both merit (shubh) and demerit (ashubh).

This cycle has been ongoing since infinity.

II. Moving Towards Liberation

The other path is to consciously move towards cleansing karmic bondage, allowing the intrinsic purity (shuddh swaroop) of the Soul to manifest fully.

Liberation is not something newly created; it is the complete revelation of what already is.

A crucial shift in understanding:

Even now, from the empirical standpoint, the Soul continues as Karta (doer) and Bhokta (consumer).

However, if there arises a true inner intent for freedom, then effort must shift towards:

👉 Remaining in pure knowing (upayog)

👉 Observing every arising state without identification

Guiding Insight from Shri AtmaSiddhi Shastra composed by Shrimad Rajchandra ji.

Karta bhokta karm no,

Vibhaav varte jyaay,

Vrutti vahe nij bhaav ma,

Thayo akarta tyaay.

Where the Soul abides in its own nature, it is no longer the doer.

Understanding Karma in Real Time:

Karma will continue to rise (uday).

Situations will unfold.

Thoughts will arise.

These are outcomes of past associations.

However, an important precision:

👉 The Soul is responsible for its current inner state (bhaav)

👉 The unfolding of events is governed by karmic fruition

The Subtle Trap:

If I respond with:

“I will tolerate this”

“I will act positively”

Even then, subtle doership persists.

Good responses → Shubh karma

Negative responses → Ashubh karma

In both cases, bondage continues.

The Shift from Doing to Knowing:

The core effort is -> 

Witness every occurrence

Witness every thought

Witness even the response

Not suppressing, not internally reacting or getting involved/attached with the external reaction, but knowing

Key Principle:

Kriya te karm

(Action is karma)

Upyog e dharm

(Pure awareness is dharma)

Parinaame bandh

(Bondage depends on inner state)

What Then is True Effort?

To ensure:

Actions may continue at the body level

But internally, awareness remains steady

Attachment and aversion gradually dissolve

Only then does karmic accumulation begin to reduce.

The Final Clarity:

The choice is subtle but absolute. 

Continue accumulating karma (even refined, even “good”)

OR

Move towards dissolution of karma

The second requires ->

Right vision

Right understanding

Right inner state

End Note:

Liberation is not an achievement in time.

It is the complete uncovering of the Soul’s true nature, free from all karmic coverings.

The journey has been infinite.

But the direction can change. And it can happen NOW.

11. The Infinite Journey.

 The current existence, by and large, is widely understood as a combination of the body (including skin, organs, internal and external systems, mind, heart, brain, and all functional aspects) and the soul (the energy, the force, the power, the very liveliness of existence).

As an analogy, consider a doll. The doll represents the body. When powered by batteries, it operates; in the absence of batteries, it becomes immobile.

The activities are not performed by the batteries themselves, yet without them, the doll cannot perform any activity.

So, is the doll the doer and the battery merely the power, the presence, the silent witness?

If this analogy holds, then the body appears as the doer, and the soul as the energy, the power, the existence, the witness, the knower.

In the absence of the soul, existence as we all perceive it vanishes. The identity through which a being was known to the world dissolves.

A simple example: when death occurs, what remains is referred to as a “body.” It is no longer addressed by the name it carried during life.

We say, “I passed away.”

The body remained.

This clearly indicates that the body and “I” are different.

So what was this “I” throughout the lifetime?

Was “I” merely the witness, the knower?

If "I" was the knower, then who was the doer? Was it the "body"?

Was I simply the knower of the doer?

If that is the case, then when the knower left, why was the doer unable to do anything?

And if I was the doer, why did I need the body at all to perform actions?

Throughout life, I identify myself as the “doer,” forgetting that I am fundamentally the “knower.”

The deeper insight is this: since infinity, at the core, I have been a knower. Yet, since that beginningless time (a notion that itself invites deep contemplation), I have been associated with karma. The deeper contemplation and the other perspectives are mentioned in the next blog. This one mainly focuses on the "knowership" perspective on the journey.

“Karma” and “I” are entirely different, yet tightly coupled.

Because of this association, I have been continuously identifying myself with karma and have been slipping into the zone of doership practically in the uninterrupted mode.

The irony is that with every instance of such identification and indulgence, more karma is attracted and accumulated.

The pile keeps growing endlessly because the identification with doership continues without interruption:

“I did this.”

“I did not do this.”

“That person did this to me.”

“They should not have done this to me.”

“I was affected, so now I will respond in a certain way (the response is in the doership mode).”

This cycle has been ongoing since an infinite past; so far back that no beginning can be established.

In fact, it appears there is no beginning at all. It is as paradoxical as asking: what came first, the chicken or the egg?

If one argues that there was a beginning, then what caused the pure knower (untainted and free) to first attract karma? In its pure state, the knower should have remained only a knower, free from doership.

So, let us proceed with the understanding that this association between the knower (self) and karma (doership) is beginningless.

Now, what happens if I continue indulging in doership without concern for karmic accumulation?

Naturally, karma will continue to pile up.

I might want to ask myself: So What?

Let it accumulate. Who cares?

Perhaps the reasoning follows: good karma will yield pleasant results, and bad karma will lead to suffering.

Ya, so I will simply focus on doing good karma.

But even here, complications arise.

There will be moments where short-term gains overshadow long-term consequences.

For example, if an opportunity arises to make money through a loophole / something that may go unnoticed, I might justify it. I may convince myself that it is acceptable, especially if my intention is not overtly harmful.

I might even reason: let me create comfort now, and from that comfort, I will do good deeds later and balance things out.

However, the law of karma does not function on personal justifications.

Every action has a precise consequence. Every consequence must be experienced. While there may be ways to mitigate or dilute karmic effects, those paths are disciplined and exacting.

Now, even if I commit to performing only good actions, another limitation arises.

As long as I operate from the identity of a “doer,” I remain within the karmic cycle.

Moreover, my ability to consistently act “well” depends on the stability of my senses, mind, and intellect. What happens when these are disturbed, weakened, or reversed?

At some point, I will falter.

And a single fall can trigger a chain of further karmic accumulation.

Karma continues to maintain its precise ledger.

The deeds of the past manifest as present circumstances. My response to these circumstances shapes future situations.

Thus, the cycle perpetuates.

In this way, I remain bound; never truly free from karma, whether auspicious (shubh) or inauspicious (ashubh).

As a knower, I am compelled to experience cycles of pleasure and pain, over and over again.

This leads to a fundamental question:

Is there a way to become free from all of this?

If such a path exists, why has liberation not occurred even once in this beginningless journey? And if liberation is attained, what is its nature?

Yes, there is a way. And it leads to a profound outcome.

The way is to remain in the state of witnessing; to observe what is happening without indulgence and without the sense of doership.

The practice appears simple, but its continuous and unwavering application is extremely challenging.

It requires:

No craving for the auspicious (shubh).

No aversion toward the inauspicious (ashubh).

A steady orientation toward the pure (shuddh).

To:

Experience the knower.

Know the experience(r).

Know the knower.

Experience the experience(r).

With sustained and sincere practice, this shift begins.

Initially, even this effort starts from a place of “doing.” But gradually, with consistency, the state of the knower begins to emerge naturally.

As this transition deepens, the impact of external and internal disturbances diminishes.

Inner cleansing begins.

The accumulated karmic load starts to reduce.

The knower recognizes this process; not as a doer, but as a witness to the gradual shedding.

Over time, purity begins to reveal itself, not as “purer” or “purest,” but as absolute purity.

Pure, in itself, is complete.

Nothing needs to be added to it.

Nothing can be taken away from it.

What happens when this pure state fully manifests?

The knower abides in its own nature; continuously, uninterruptedly, infinitely.

There is no end to this experience.

Just as there was no beginning to the cycles of suffering and perceived happiness, there is no end to the experience of the soul’s infinite qualities.

These include:

Anant Gyaan (infinite knowledge)

Anant Darshan (infinite faith)

Anant Charitra (infinite conduct)

Anant Virya (infinite energy)

Avyabaadh Sukh (unobstructed bliss)

Akshay Sthiti (eternal existence)

Arupipanu (formlessness)

Agurulaghutva (perfect equanimity)

This is not merely a philosophical framework. 

It is a direct pointer to the journey of the soul; bound since beginningless time, yet capable of a comprehensive freedom, rather freedom itself is comprehensive.

The bondage is real.

The cycle is real.

But so is liberation.

And the shift begins the moment the doer dissolves, and the knower stands revealed.

10. Crossing the Ocean.

Crossing the Ocean | A Choice, Not a Concept

Suddenly, I paused at a question that refuses to leave me now:

Do I truly want to cross the ocean of Sansar; or am I comfortable floating / sinking in it?

That pause exposed something uncomfortable.

For infinite time literally without beginning, this soul has remained bound in karmic bondage. Not because it had to, but because the default choice has always been the same: to continue, not to break.

I say “infinite” casually, but when examined, it is terrifying.

It means:

I have never experienced "absolute freedom".

I have never known what it means to exist without bondage.

I have only repeated cycles, endlessly. The cycle that has no beginning either.

Most of this journey has not even been as a human.

It has been in Sthaavar existence i.e. immobile, constrained, dependent. A state where even the possibility of conscious movement or choice does not exist.

That is not just a limitation. It is near-total helplessness.

From there, through an unimaginable struggle, Evolution happened.

From one-sensed to multi-sensed existence.

From immobility to movement.

And now, this Human birth.

Not ordinary. Exceptionally rare, truly extremely rarest of the rare. Even if it doesn't fit in the mind, it is unimaginably rarest of the rare.

Only here (in the Human birth) exists Vivek, the capacity to Discern.

Every other being lives.

Only a Human can choose the direction of existence.

The Brutal Reality

Even now, despite:

▪️A properly functioning body

▪️A stable life

▪️Access to knowledge

▪️Guidance from the enlightened

▪️Clarity about soul and karma

…the default tendency has remained unchanged:

And it is: To continue what has always been done.

Accumulate. React. Indulge. Repeat.

Even “good actions” often remain within the same loop of merit instead of liberation.

That is not freedom.

That is a more comfortable form of bondage.

The Core Error

The soul is not the doer; it is the knower.

Yet, by identifying with body, mind and actions,

it assumes doership and binds karma. 

This is not a small mistake.

This is the root of infinite suffering.

What Needs to Change

Not knowledge.

Not availability of path.

Not external conditions.

Only one thing: Decision (Nirnay).

A clean, irreversible shift:

From "continuing" the default cycle

To consciously "breaking" it

What does this "Decision" demands?

Relentless inner checking:

In this very moment, am I acting or merely witnessing?

Am I reinforcing identity, or dissolving it?

Am I accumulating, or freeing?

Am I aware, or mechanical?

Not occasionally.

Continuously.

No Illusions Left

If I do not change this now:

I return to the same cycle

The same patterns

The same bondage

And this exact combination of super precious Human birth, awareness, guidance, capability may not arise again for an incomprehensibly long time.

The Only Real Question

So the question is no longer philosophical.

It is immediate. 

It is Personal and Unavoidable.

Do I want to CROSS or NOT?

Because if the answer is yes,

then the delay is dishonesty; a dishonesty to myself incurring "my" loss, the loss that will cost the "Real Identity"

And if I am honest, then the only valid moment to flip the choice is: Not today, Not later. It is NOW

9. Happiness.

 H A P P I N E S S

A. Reflections on Perceived Happiness and Inner Direction

In the current state of non-enlightenment, whenever I refer to “I”, “me”, “my”, or “mine”, it is essentially tied to this body, mind, and the material identity that I have come to associate as myself.

The happiness that I assume or mentally label is, in truth, quite strange.

It isn’t really happiness, yet for the sake of expression, I accept it as such. Besides, what makes it even more peculiar is that there is nothing constant about it.

For some, happiness lies in accumulating money.

For others, in spending it.

Even within myself, at times I find happiness in saving, and at other times in spending freely.

Similarly:

For some, happiness is respect and recognition.

For others, it is material possessions.

For some, it lies in receiving without effort.

For others, in giving generously.

For some, it is in the sense of being the doer.

For others, in the sense of being the experiencer.

And if I continue to reflect, there are countless such variations.

Even in something as simple as lifestyle, if I live in a certain way, and someone else lives differently, merely observing and analysing their life generates in me a sense of happiness or unhappiness.

However, in reality, this too is a misperception; an illusion that I have accepted as real joy or sorrow.

B. The Distance from Natural Happiness

The idea that true happiness is simple and inherent feels distant to me.

For what feels like an eternity, I have evaluated happiness based on parameters viz. comparison, influence, control, comfort, release from burden, and so on.

Because of this conditioning, what is natural (sahaj) is not even recognized typically as happiness.

The statement “happiness is within” remains more of a conceptual quote; something to express outwardly, sometimes even to create an impression that I understand it rather than something deeply realized.

C. Comfort, Substitution, and the Mind’s Adjustments

In practical life, my sense of happiness often operates through substitution.

If I step out of one comfort zone, I instinctively seek another.

For example, if I restrict my eating, there may be discomfort at a core level. But then, another layer of comfort arises; perhaps in the form of recognition, validation, or identity (“people should know I am doing this”).

So, the mind compensates.

The shift is not away from dependence. It is merely from one form of dependence to another.

D. Influence of Norms and Social Conditioning

When a behavior becomes normalized by the collective, the mind readily accepts it.

For instance, if going out to eat becomes a social norm, the mind finds comfort in aligning with it. The action is then justified as “There is no harm”.

On the other hand, when something is labelled as a “vice”, the same mind becomes burdened even if the inner inclination exists.

Interestingly, if that same “vice” is allowed in a different environment or context, it is performed with ease, even enthusiasm.

This reveals that the burden or freedom is not inherent in the act itself, but in the belief system surrounding it.

E. Restriction, Indulgence, and the Spring Effect

There are times when I restrain myself strongly like compressing a spring.

And then there are times when I release completely leading to overindulgence.

In restriction, there can be internal burden.

In indulgence, there can be unconsciousness and / or a feeling of intoxication.

Both extremes carry their own forms of imbalance.

For example, on certain days I may avoid specific foods with a strong sense of discipline and identity, believing I am doing something meaningful.

Yet on other days, I may consume the same without awareness and with immense indulgence.

This raises a deeper question:

Is the awareness consistent, or is it situational?

F. Two Parallel Domains of Living

There appear to be two distinct domains in life:

1. The Body–Mind Domain

This includes physical needs, habits, beliefs, preferences, and social conditioning; and it certainly limited to this lifetime (the current human birth).

2. The Soul–Spiritual Domain

This relates to the eternal; inner clarity, awareness, and liberation.

While the higher purpose lies in the upliftment of the soul, the body and mind cannot be ignored.

However, the key lies in balance, caring for the body without becoming consumed by it or supressing it to such an extent that everything (lower / higher purpose) goes for a toss.

G. Choice, Direction, and Consequence

Ultimately, it comes down to choices I make.

If I invest all my time and energy in nurturing the body, mind, and associated beliefs, I will receive outcomes aligned with that.

If I invest in inner purification and spiritual clarity, the results will reflect that direction.

If I mix both unconsciously, without clarity, I risk causing more confusion than growth.

However, a conscious balance where both are addressed with awareness, may serve the journey better.

H. A Subtle Shift in Understanding Happiness

Perhaps the goal is not to chase or define happiness with labels like “pure”, “natural”, or “eternal”.

Perhaps happiness, in its truest sense, does not need qualification.

What matters is vigilance i.e. Observing how perceived happiness operates, how it shifts, how it deceives, and how it conditions choices.

Through that awareness, the movement may naturally shift; from assumed happiness toward what simply is.

I. What Next?

A next layer could be: not choosing between the duality, but observing who is choosing and why!

8. Ayambil Oli 2026.

 Ayambil Oli begins tomorrow.

It has been observed across time, and will continue to be. Naturally, the first thought that arises is: 

_“I should do Ayambil during these sacred days.”_

Now, that raises a deeper enquiry:

What is Tap (often translated as austerity) really?

What is the purpose behind these practices?

And what should these 9 days actually lead to?

In common understanding, Tap is seen as control or restraint (daman). While that is partially true, it needs a more precise distinction.

There are two very different inner approaches:

Daman i.e. control or suppression.

This is when I restrict food, reduce indulgence, or hold back desires for a period of time. It is will-driven and externally visible.

Shaman i.e. calming through understanding.

This is when I observe the arising of a desire, understand its nature and consequences, and through clarity, allow it to settle. It is awareness-driven and internally transformative.

Both may appear similar outwardly, but inwardly they are fundamentally different.

Daman can temporarily silence desires.

Shaman can dissolve their intensity.

Tap, in its deeper sense, is not merely Daman...it is Shaman. Daman is more of superficial.

Traditionally, there are 12 forms of Tapasya described. Practices like Ayambil predominantly engage the external forms, such as:

Dropping meals

Eating less than one’s hunger

Limiting choices and variety

Renouncing taste

These are valuable, but they are not the destination.

They are instruments.

Each act of restraint creates an opportunity to observe:

What do I crave? 

How quickly do I react? 

What is the pull of habit and taste?

This observation is the beginning of turning inward, of seeing my patterns clearly.

The real essence of Tap is captured in a profound idea:

*Freedom from desire is Tap.*

_(Ichcha Nirodh Tapah)_

Not by forcefully eliminating desire, but by understanding it so deeply that its hold weakens.

When the movements of wanting, resisting, and reacting begin to calm down, something quieter becomes noticeable. That stillness is not created; it was always present, just overshadowed.

In that sense, the real effort is subtle: not in intensifying activity, but in reducing inner disturbance.

These 9 days, then, are not just a ritual, but a mirror.

Whether I perform Ayambil for all 9 days or not, the essential question remains:

Am I becoming more aware of my inner tendencies, or just more disciplined externally?

Because it is entirely possible to perform austerity and yet strengthen a subtler layer of ego:

“I am doing more,” “I am more disciplined,” “I am progressing.”

And this is where a powerful insight comes in from Atmasiddhi:

Lahyu swarup na vrutti nu, 

Grahyu vrat Abhimaan,

Grahe nahi parmaarth ne,

Leva laukik maan

I may fail to understand and observe the inner tendencies, and instead adopt vows with a sense of pride.

In doing so, I might miss the true purpose,

and remains engaged in seeking recognition and validation.

The essence of this is sharp and direct:

If the focus shifts from inner transformation to identity built around practice, the direction is lost.

The practice continues, but the purpose is diluted.

Instead of dissolving the ego, it becomes more refined and subtle.

There is another layer that deserves attention.

Practices like Tapasya do generate merit (punya), and that has its value. It supports life, creates favourable conditions, and sustains the journey.

However, if merit becomes the only goal, something essential is missed.

Accumulating only merit is like nurturing the soil but never tasting the fruit.

The deeper aim is not just to move from negative to positive, but to go beyond both; to experience a clarity that is not dependent on accumulation.

Over long cycles, life tends to oscillate between merit and demerit, pleasant and unpleasant, while missing the possibility of stepping beyond this cycle. And that is the reason the "Sansaar in me" has never ended yet.

These 9 days can become a conscious shift in that direction.

So how do I approach Ayambil Oli meaningfully?

I should perform the external disciplines sincerely, if possible but certainly let the inner observation be stronger than the outer form

 I should watch desires, not only in food, but in reactions, speech, and the need for validation

Notice if pride or identity builds around the practice

Gently move from Daman (control) towards Shaman (understanding and calming)

And most importantly

Ensure that I do not feel “released” on the 10th day.

If these 9 days feel like a burden that has ended, then the practice remained external.

If they create a sense of continuity, then something deeper has begun.

Ultimately, the purpose of Tapasya is not hardship; it is clarity.

Not suppression; but understanding.

Not control; but freedom.

Not accumulation; but dissolution.

A gradual shift from being driven by desires to simply being aware of those; and in that awareness, loosening the long-standing patterns that keep me bound.

आयंबिल कियो अनंत काल से,

स्वाद खोजने मन ललचाय....

ये मूर्ख आयंबिल करने जाए,

Taste ले लेकर गरम गरम खाय...

और फिर पेट भर कर

जब वो महाशय घर पर आए,

"मैंने किया आयंबिल",

"मैं करता हूँ ओली"

ऐसा "अभिमान" व्रत ग्रहण कराए

7. Talaash.

 तलाश थी हमें खुद की

और मिल गए हो तुम

क्या होगा अब आगे

हमें नहीं मालूम

अब क्या मलाल, किस से शिकायत

जब हम खुद ही हो गए गुम

कौन खोजी और कैसी खोज?

खुद ही खुद से हो गए महरूम

6. Pure (Shuddh).

 At the core level of the truth, every living being is inherently a pious soul _(shuddhaatma)_ that is pure, untouched, and complete.

However, in the realm of external conduct _(vyavahaar)_, individuals inevitably form opinions about me based on my current behaviour, past actions, and perceived identity across various states and phases _(paryays)_. 

These judgments arise from their own current, percieved and limited standpoint, conditioned by their state of understanding and their own karmic coverings.

Recognising this, my inner orientation is to remain unaffected, whether I am offered praise or criticism. Both are reflections of perception, not of the Self.

My true concern is not the world’s evaluation, but the silent and precise view/feedback of the super consciousness _(param chetna)._ 

To be understood by a layman, it is typically expressed through the law of karma. 

What truly matters is:

"My" inner intention _(vrutti)_,

"My" expressed action _(pravrutti)_,

And 

"My" movement towards the inner withdrawal and karmic cleansing _(nivrutti)._

Technically, the "My" is not to be considered from the ownership standpoint but from a perspective of being the aware "knower"

While the Soul _(jeev)_ is, in essence, the knower _(gyaata)_ and seer _(drashta)_, within embodied existence it appears as the doer. In this apparent doership, _pravrutti_ (action) unfolds in the foreground, but it is _vrutti_(intention) that determines the nature of karmic bondage.

The essential question, therefore, is:

Am I constantly "aware" of "witnessing" the both i.e. not just what I do, but why I do it? _(At the core, from a knower standpoint, it is what is being done and why is it being done)_

The law of karma functions with absolute precision like an infallible system that neither errs nor biases. One may deceive the world, and at times even oneself, but karmic accounting remains exact and unaltered.

There is a subtle but crucial understanding here:

Even the mental act of calculating outcomes like “what will happen if I do this or that” can itself become a form of interference, and thereby a cause of further karmic influx.

Understanding karma is necessary.

Interfering with its functioning is not.

This approach may, at times, appear as _shushk gyaan_ (a dry, overly intellectual stance). However, its intent is not intellectualisation but purification: to enable purusharth with total awareness, free from emotional reactivity, judgment, and unnecessary interference in the karmic process.

If this principle applies to analysing my own _vrutti_ and _pravrutti_, then I need to also strongly consider that what happens when I begin judging others?

In that moment, I step beyond awareness and enter entanglement.

_Again here I need to internally consider "My own" is a symbolic representation of being an aware knower at the core, because when I am in the doership mode the karmic calculations are vigilant about their assignments accordingly_

Circling back, Judging, analysing, justifying (whether of myself or others) has been a continuous, often unconscious habit since infinity. This very habit keeps strengthening the bondage.

The path, therefore, is not suppression, but training.

Constantly training myself to be:

Watchful of every thought,

Aware of every word,

Conscious of every action,

And sensitive to the subtlest shifts in intention.

To cultivate the state of a witness, not occasionally, but continuously, moment after moment.

Let karma perform its function.

Let me remain established as the witness.

This is not an intellectual exercise.

It is a lifelong discipline; constant, regular, and sustained over time _(satatam, nityam, chiram)._

In the NOW...

In this present moment....

I am aware.

I am the witness.

I am living in the NOW.

Ultimately, the entire framework of jeev (living beings), pudgal (all the loving stuff), karma, bondage, and liberation can be distilled into:

_Kriya te karm_ — Actions give rise to karma.

_Upyog te dharm_ — Right awareness is dharma.

_Parinaame bandh_ — Inner states determine bondage.

These three lines are not just philosophical statements. They are a complete map of existence and liberation.

The task is simple in expression, but profound in practice:

*To remain in pure awareness _(shuddha upyog)_, without interference, without judgment, and without deviation.*

5. Awareness, what really?

Considering that I am awake for roughly eighteen hours a day, an important question arises:

How much of that time am I truly aware?

There are moments when I feel alert and conscious of what I am doing. At times I experience a sense of awareness while performing a task.

So, What exactly is the “awareness” being referred to?

This question opens several possible perspectives.

Awareness can appear in simple forms. For example, being conscious of the task that is being performed. It can mean paying attention, staying alert, or focusing on the present moment while completing an activity.

Another perspective is slightly deeper. One may observe the activity as if it is happening through the body, senses, mind, and organs, while something within silently witnesses it.

In some moments, I may feel fully involved in the task, almost as if I am the one doing it. Yet there is also a subtle recognition of how the task is unfolding and where it is leading.

For the moment, these perspectives can be considered only in the context of performing a task.

However, there is an important distinction hidden within them.

Some perspectives imply:

“I am doing the task and I am aware that I am doing it.”

Others suggest:

“The task is happening through the body, senses and mind, and I am observing it.”

If I assume that I am the body, the senses, the mind, the brain, the heart and the organs, then naturally my experience will revolve around the idea that I am the "doer". The success of the task becomes "my" achievement, "my" capacity, "my" ability.

Gradually this strengthens a subtle sense of identity and ownership; the feeling that I am the one who accomplishes, proves, achieves and brings change. In ordinary language, this easily turns into a quiet form of ego reinforcement.

This happens because I consider myself nothing more than the combination of body, mind and senses.

Many philosophical and spiritual traditions question this assumption. They suggest that without the presence of the soul (the conscious principle) nothing truly functions.

At the same time, another argument may arise: what can the soul do in the worldly state without the body, senses and mind as instruments?

These questions can lead to endless philosophical debates.

The present exploration, nonetheless, is not about proving one argument over another.

The real inquiry is about the way of living.

If I observe my life carefully, three possible ways of living become visible.

First, life can continue mechanically. Actions happen through routine, habit and conditioning. Much of the time passes in semi-conscious or unconscious functioning.

Second, I can attempt to remain attentive in every task. I focus carefully, remain alert, and ensure that whatever I do is done with full concentration.

Third, I can train myself to remain a witness. Actions continue to occur through the body, senses and mind, but I remain aware that they are simply happening. Everything unfolds in the presence of “I”, while I remain aware of that presence.

The third one is what the "effort" is towards. 

For an immeasurable span of time I may have ignored this possibility or perhaps only understood it intellectually without living it. At times I may have attempted it briefly, but never cultivated it into a steady and uninterrupted awareness.

As long as this witnessing awareness remains unstable, the cycle of identification and bondage continues; And this is why I am here since infinity and I will continue to stay here for infinite time if I don't break the chain.

The path to liberation therefore lies in gradually stabilizing this awareness, recognizing that actions occur, experiences arise, thoughts appear, yet all of them unfold in the presence of the witnessing self.

Until such awareness becomes steady and undivided, continuous effort toward it remains necessary.

4. Spi-Ritual.

Embracing rituals is more or less a normal practice as a part of almost every religion or spiritual doctrine on this planet.

While it may be a good idea to follow rituals, a natural question arises: Do I simply follow them, or do I pause to understand the thought process, the logic, and the reasoning behind them?

Do I ever question myself on one or more of the following points?

Am I following rituals merely because they are written in scriptures? Or because a learned person has conveyed that enlightened or omniscient beings of the past have asked us to follow them? And if I follow them without doubting, challenging, or questioning, I may progress on the path, whereas if I question them, I might end up insulting or disregarding those pious souls.

OR

Am I following them because the entire world seems to be following them, and there are countless people with greater intellect and understanding than mine? If that is the case, who am I to question these things?

OR

Am I following them mechanically, simply because I belong to a particular religion and therefore feel obligated to do so, even if I do not understand the meaning?

OR

Am I following them out of fear; a fear that going against the flow might lead to some form of punishment?

OR

Am I following them due to social pressure, carrying an invisible burden on my head?

OR...

Do I want to understand rituals thoroughly, reflect on the sense behind them, develop genuine interest in their purpose, and then participate in them with awareness; an awareness that can maximize the outcome of those rituals?

As an analogy, if I want to earn money, there may be many ways to do it. However, one element remains common across all those approaches: Awareness. Whatever path I choose, I remain constantly aware of the process and the direction in which I am moving. If I notice that I am making losses, I pause, reassess, and create a fallback plan to correct the course.

In this process I may gather information, listen to people, and read relevant material, but the constant focus remains on whether I am on the right track. If any derailment appears, either proactively or reactively, I try to return to the right path at the earliest.

Human birth is invaluable beyond measure. On top of that, it is one of the rarest occurrences. Also, the lifespan itself is limited, but one of the greatest gifts of human birth is the "intellect" (vivek).

If I use this intellect (vivek) wisely to understand goals and purposes in a way that allows me to gain the maximum benefit from the most precious parameter I am investing (which is "Time"), it can certainly lead to a meaningful outcome.

Everyone has different goals and varied purposes in life, and each person is engaged in working towards them.

I am neither trying to agree nor disagree, neither advocating nor contradicting, nor preaching about the positives or negatives.

What I truly want to reflect upon is this: How can I use this human birth and this intellect to maximize benefits that are long-lasting; the benefits that do not end with this single lifetime?

Circling back to rituals, as mentioned earlier, each person may approach them differently.

My reflection here is simply about choosing one among three possible approaches.

1) I may immerse myself in one, two, or perhaps many rituals, speak about them openly, gain appreciation in society, build a visible image around them, and focus on how I appear in the eyes of others. This approach carries a strong possibility of leading to demerits (Paap), ultimately burdening the soul with heavy karmas that may later manifest in material discomforts, in ways best understood by the omniscient.

2) I may follow rituals sincerely and silently, out of discipline, personal will, social conditioning, or even ignorance and above all, without any desire for recognition. However, if I do so without deeper awareness of their purpose, such as cleansing karmas or uplifting the soul on the path toward liberation, this approach may lead to accumulation of merits (Punya). Even these merits are karmas, and they too bind the soul, though they may manifest as material comforts and favorable circumstances.

3) Now, I might want to look at rituals from a different perspective. I may try to understand their time-tested importance, explore the deeper sense behind them, and then practice them with awareness and clarity of purpose. With this awareness and focus on the ultimate outcome, I train myself (the soul) to participate in the rituals while witnessing the process, allowing the actions to appear as though they are simply happening, while I remain aware.

This reflection resonates with a verse from AtmaSiddhi Shastra composed by revered Shrimad Rajchandra:

Tyaag viraag na chitt ma,

Thaay na tene gyaan;

Atke tyaag viraag ma,

To bhoole nij bhaan.

If the mind completely rejects renunciation or detachment, true knowledge does not arise. But if one becomes stuck merely in the practices of renunciation and detachment, one may forget the awareness of the true Self.

In the same way, if one rejects rituals entirely, the path may remain incomplete. But if one becomes absorbed only in performing rituals mechanically, without awareness, one may lose the very purpose for which those rituals exist.

Ultimately, this understanding is not limited only to rituals. It applies to every activity in life.

What matters most is awareness, focus, and a constant alignment with the path and the destination, so that the effort invested yields the highest possible benefit.

3. Determination (Nirnay)?!.

Over time I have come across many swadhyays (sermons), scriptures, books, and pieces of spiritual literature that are extremely powerful and deeply thought-provoking.

Spiritual mentors, teachers, and sacred texts consistently invest immense energy and effort in guiding seekers and in raising awareness about the true purpose of life. The intention behind such teachings i.e. the upliftment and awakening of each soul is very evident.

For this continuous guidance that flows through various mentors, scriptures, and traditions over long periods of time, I feel deeply grateful, though words are inadequate to fully express that gratitude.

One of the most unique aspects of Jain philosophy is that even if I am blessed with the presence of God, Guru, and compassionate spiritual guides, ultimately nothing will change unless I walk the path myself.

In my case, I can only say:

“Aayu bhoge vadhe chhe sansaar.” (Sansaar is increasing at the cost of this life)

As days pass, I observe that cravings (raag), aversions (dwesh), delusion (moh), attachment (potaapanu), and the sense of doership (kartapanu) often remain intact and sometimes even grow stronger. There seems to be very little real brake applied on either my internal or external parigrah.

There is still no firm determination (nirnay) to truly attack and weaken moh, raag, and dwesh.

I also realise that I have subtly compartmentalized life into sansaar and adhyatma.

Spending a few hours in spiritual activity and the rest of the day immersed in worldly involvement can sometimes create the illusion that meaningful progress is being made.

However, when I introspect honestly, this appears to be a misunderstanding. If ignorance (agnaan) remains intact, the attraction toward infinite worldly existence continues every fraction of a second.

What is truly required is to weave adhyatma into life in such a way that externally it may appear that worldly life continues as usual, but internally a transformation begins. Gradually the deeper enemies aham (ego) and mamatva (mineness) begin to weaken.

Often there is a tendency to speak about discipline, vows, and spiritual practices. But upon deeper reflection it becomes evident that many of these efforts may remain at a superficial level. At times, vows and practices may even strengthen my external image, while the inner determination for genuine transformation remains weak.

This realization itself serves as a reminder that unless there is a clear and sincere determination (nirnay) to dissolve the inner sansaar, the mind can easily create subtle consolations that generate a sense of satisfaction without real progress.

There is a sincere wish to continue the effort that is currently being made in spiritual practice and even increase it. But more importantly, the real work lies in living with constant alertness, awareness, and mindfulness — satatam, nityam, chiram.

Once again, deep gratitude arises for all the time, energy, wisdom, and compassion that spiritual mentors, sacred literature, and divine guidance continuously offer to me.

Whether transformation actually happens or not ultimately depends on how sincerely I act upon this guidance.

If no real action is taken, the loss is entirely mine; and it would also mean failing to honor the immense efforts and energies that countless mentors and teachings have invested in awakening this understanding.

2. Reflection on Vows (Niyam).

 *_Reflection on Vows (Niyam)_*

Whenever I take a vow (niyam), a certain pressure immediately arises within me.

The mind says: _Now you must follow this._

And then a question arises within:

Why do I need this pressure at all?

Is the pressure required because I am not disciplined about that particular action?

And if I am not disciplined about it, then the deeper question becomes:

Why am I not disciplined?

Perhaps because somewhere within I do not truly feel its necessity.

Or 

Perhaps I do not genuinely see the benefit it brings.

If that is the case, then what actually happens when I take a vow?

*Several possibilities appear.*

1) Forced Compliance

I may begin to follow the vow forcibly.

Outwardly the action continues, but inwardly it feels like a burden.

The vow is being followed, but the heart resists it.

When the action continues without inner acceptance, discipline may exist externally while resistance continues internally.

2) Ego Satisfaction

Another possibility is more subtle.

If I succeed in following the vow, the mind may begin to whisper: _See how well I am following this discipline._

If the vow was originally meant to serve a higher purpose, that purpose can slowly move into the background.

Attention shifts from the purpose behind the vow to the successful performance of the vow itself.

In such a situation the vow remains, but the spirit behind it weakens.

3) Psychological Consolation

Sometimes the vow can become a psychological consolation.

Following it creates the feeling that something meaningful is being done. The mind feels satisfied.

Encouraged by this satisfaction, one vow may lead to another.

Occasionally this even takes the shape of subtle comparison or competition.

Yet the deeper inner transformation may remain limited.

4) Social Pressure

There is also the situation where a vow is suggested or asked for in public.

If internally I am not ready, it becomes difficult to refuse.

Why?

I may want to maintain the relationship with the person suggesting it.

I may want to protect my image.

I may fear disappointing a senior.

I may feel uncomfortable saying no in front of others.

In such cases the vow may not arise from conviction but from social pressure and image management.

*The Role of Understanding*

Due to all of the above, one thing appears unavoidable:

_"Understanding the true benefit and purpose of a vow is essential."_

If I clearly see the benefit and genuinely desire that outcome, the vow can become a powerful support.

In fact, I would naturally move toward that path.

*An Analogy: Physical Health*

Consider a simple example.

Suppose I realise that my body is ageing.

Someone advises me:

_"If you exercise regularly, you will maintain better health and possibly experience fewer health issues."_

I ask what to do.

The suggestion comes:

_"Take a vow to exercise for one hour, six days a week."_

Now imagine I take that vow.

Soon the mind begins presenting its arguments:

My body is already reasonably fine.

Ageing will happen anyway.

Many people live well without exercising regularly.

Why complicate life with strict discipline?

Gradually the vow begins to feel heavy.

Eventually I may either abandon it or reduce it, and life returns to its earlier pattern.

*The Real Question*

So perhaps the real question is not the vow itself.

The real question is:

Do I truly feel the need for the benefit that the vow promises?

If I genuinely feel the need to remain healthy, I will naturally make efforts toward it.

The vow may support that effort, but the effort itself arises from clarity of purpose, not merely from the vow.

*Extending the Analogy to Spiritual Life*

The same reasoning can be extended to spirituality.

Do I truly feel that:

the body is temporary,

the soul continues beyond this life,

and therefore caring for the soul is as important as caring for the body?

This understanding must arise through my own vivek (intellect), not merely because others say so.

If that inner recognition is absent, spiritual vows may end up serving other purposes.

They may:

protect my public image,

bring appreciation from others,

and / or create satisfaction that I am doing something spiritual.

However, these very tendencies viz. ego, desire for appreciation, attachment to image, and comparison with others, are precisely the tendencies that spiritual practice is meant to gradually reduce.

If spiritual practices unintentionally strengthen those tendencies, the original intention of the practice becomes compromised.

*Determination vs. Formal Vows*

If I genuinely recognise the need for inner purification, effort will naturally continue.

Consider "Work / Office".

Do I need a vow to go to work every day?

No.

Why? Because it is already clear:

I want to "EARN MONEY / POWER" (clarity of benefit / determination), therefore I must "WORK".

Even when I take a vacation, people may think I am not working.

However, internally it remains clear that after the vacation, I will return to work _(at times, mentally I am working on the vacation also)_ .

The determination remains intact.

The vow becomes unnecessary.

*The Counterargument*

Of course, there is another valid perspective.

For countless lifetimes, Raag (attachment), Dwesh (aversion), and Moh (delusion) have conditioned the mind.

Due to this deep conditioning, structured vows can act as protective boundaries that help prevent spiritual negligence and help safeguard the rare opportunity of human birth.

This argument is reasonable.

However, even in this case the effectiveness of vows still depends on the presence of inner clarity and determination.

Without that, vows can unintentionally strengthen the very tendencies they were meant to weaken.

*The Honest Observation*

Through reading scriptures, attending swadhyays, listening to sermons, and performing rituals, I notice something within myself.

I do enjoy these activities to some extent.

The concepts are intellectually clear.

Yet "accepting" them fully at the deepest level still remains a challenge.

This is because somewhere at the core, the primary concern continues to be the well-being of the body and worldly life.

*The Risk*

If the determination to work for the benefit of the soul is not strong, then even spiritual practices may unintentionally end up strengthening:

Raag

Dwesh

Moh

instead of gradually dissolving them.

*The Real Work*

Therefore the most important effort may not simply be about accumulating vows.

The deeper work may be to examine the goal itself.

What is the true target?

Is the goal genuinely soul purification?

Is there a real desire to weaken "Moh"?

Until this determination becomes clear and stable, vows may remain external structures rather than inner transformations.

*An Important Clarification*

This reflection is not an argument against taking vows.

Vows have a meaningful and respected place in spiritual practice.

However, it is essential to ensure that when a vow is taken, it arises from genuine determination toward its purpose and benefit.

Otherwise there is a risk that the vow may unintentionally become:

a means of protecting one’s image,

a source of subtle ego,

a burden carried out under pressure,

a form of spiritual showmanship,

and / or 

simply a way of conforming to social expectations.

This needs to be pondered over with utmost honesty and intellect. 

Since infinity (anant kaal), infinite vows have been followed but to the greatest extent, an honest pondering, an intellectual view and the determination / target was misaligned / missing.

Anyway, the real purpose of a vow should always remain inner transformation, not external validation.

*Conclusion*

Perhaps the most important reflection is not merely:

Which vows should I take?

But rather:

Do I truly want the destination that these vows are meant to lead me toward?

If that destination becomes clear and meaningful, discipline will naturally arise.

The path, then, will not be driven by pressure, but by understanding, honesty and determination.

1. Purusharth, Awareness and Illusion.

 *Purusharth, Awareness and the Illusion of “I”*

Purusharth (Effort) is necessary in life. Without effort nothing moves forward. But becoming attached to one’s own effort is where illusion begins.

There needs to be a constant awareness within that I am not the centre of everything that is happening. What is happening in the world is a flow of many causes coming together. My role is mainly to remain aware and watch carefully.

When an action happens, when I try to solve a problem, when I respond to a situation, the tendency of the mind is to say:

“I did this.”

“I solved this.”

“This happened because of me.”

This sense of “I am the doer” slowly grows into ego, expectation and attachment.

Instead, the approach should be different.

Effort may happen through me, but my role is to observe that effort with awareness. I must watch how the mind reacts, how the senses behave, how responses arise, and how actions unfold.

The involvement of “I” should remain limited only to being aware; the watcher, the observer, the witness of the entire process.

Effort happens because I exist, but my effort alone is not the sole cause of results.

---

*_The Problem of Desire and Expectation_*

Once effort begins, desire quietly follows.

I start thinking:

I have worked hard

I deserve a particular outcome

The results should come as I expect

From there another chain begins; expectations from people, situations and outcomes.

However, this expectation itself is built on a flawed assumption that my effort alone determines the result.

Reality does not work that way.

---

*_Three Facts Worth Remembering_*

1. Everyone is acting from their own expectations. Every person in this world is acting based on their own desires, fears, expectations and karmic tendencies. People are not here primarily to fulfil my expectations. Sometimes their expectations may align with mine. Many times they will not.

2. Situations will not always support my effort. Even if I make sincere effort, circumstances may not cooperate. Conditions in the world are constantly changing. Effort alone does not guarantee favourable situations.

3. Jain philosophy explains five causes behind every event. Jainism explains that every outcome arises from a combination of five Samavāya Kāraṇ (co-operating causes). More in detail below 👇 

These five are: 

Time

કાળ

Intrinsic nature of a thing

સ્વભાવ

Universal order / inevitability

નિયતિ

That which is destined to occur

ભવિતવ્યતા

Individual effort

પુરુષાર્થ

When an event happens, all five causes operate together. Effort is only one among them.

*_The Illusion Around Effort_*

Even if I give 100% effort, effort is still only one factor out of five.

In a simplified way, I may think of it as roughly 20% influence, while the other four causes also need to align.

Yet the human mind behaves differently.

When something succeeds, I immediately say:

I did it.

It happened because of my effort.

I was confident it would happen.

This confidence easily turns into ego and illusion.

In reality, such certainty is logically weak because the outcome was dependent on multiple causes, not just my effort.

*_Returning to the Original Point_*

This brings me back to the starting thought.

Effort must certainly be made. Avoiding effort is not the path.

What is essential, nonetheless, is awareness while making the effort.

I should keep reminding myself:

I am doing the purusharth that is in my control.

The result will depend on the alignment of the five causes.

Therefore attachment to the outcome is irrational.

My responsibility is only to make sincere effort and remain aware of the entire process.

*_The Deeper Spiritual Context_*

From a Jainism perspective, the ultimate goal is liberation of the soul.

In this journey, both puṇya (merit) and paap (demerit) bind the soul through karma. One may feel pleasant and the other unpleasant, but both still keep the soul within the cycle of bondage.

Therefore what becomes important is continuous alertness and awareness.

I must watch:

"my" actions

"my" reactions

"my" desires

"my" ego

"my" expectations

"my" virtues and my vices

_("my" is not "I", it is what I have perceived as "my")_

Everything must be observed with clarity.

This awareness slowly weakens attachment to “I” and “mine” in worldly matters.

That "awareness", that continuous inner "alertness", is at the heart of what Jain philosophy teaches.

In the end, the path becomes simple in principle:

Doing the purusharth that is in "my" hands.

Remaining aware while doing it.

Not becoming attached to the action or the result...

...because liberation will come not from controlling the world, but from seeing clearly what is happening within.

🙏