1. Disappear.

Since my mom had gone out of station, I was all alone. Although it was a Saturday night, I just planned to laze at home, sit back, watch television and peacefully sleep. I did so.

It was 7.30 am when my eyeballs hit the clock. It was a bit early for a Sunday morning but since I was up and fresh, I decided to go for a stroll. While stepping down, I saw my milkman stepping up and expressed that I don’t want milk. He gave a surreal look and before his response or my analysis, I jumped down to the ground level. Something was eccentric in the milkman’s look but then I didn’t care much thinking he might be a victim of hangover since it was a Sunday morning for him as well.

Passing thru my lane, I encountered my friend’s dad who was in his temple gear. Worshipping God in the morning is his daily routine. Most of the times when I see him, he is usually in his own world chanting something. Ditto this time. Still I thought of bidding a hello and when I did so, he looked at me but didn’t respond back. I was aghast but then assuming he must be in his godly thoughts, I resumed my walk. I was still wondering about back to back similar events nonetheless.

With all those thoughts gradually evaporating, I had a nice 30 minute walk. Hungry, I entered my favorite eatery and took some food coupons. Despite a busy morning, the coupon vendor still managed to response to my ‘happy morning’ greeting. I was happy assuming he recognized me but still not completely satisfied as he just responded with his heads down engrossed in catering to other customers.

After a wonderful breakfast as soon as I popped out of the restaurant, I witness a friend of mine from a certain distance cruising on his bike and as he passed perpendicular, I waved my hand. It seemed like he had simply ignored it. I consoled my mind explaining it must be because of a lot of crowd around; the wave must have gone unnoticed.

The mind was not ready to get convinced and as a result of which a lot of questions started haunting around. Walking down further, I could see my gym instructor approaching. This was an acid test for me. I rushed towards him, gave a broad smile and uttered ‘Hello’. He gave a smile in return and said the same. I was relieved. Before my breaths stay calm for even a degree movement of the second hand of the clock, he quoted – “Are you interested in joining gym?”

I almost fainted. It was like I had lost all my senses. I not only failed the acid test but my identity too. I couldn’t see any difference in strangers and acquaintances. On the verge of a volcanic eruption in my mind, I heard the same question again. I negatively nodded and rushed towards my house.

On my way back, I encountered the newspaper vendor and a local grocery store owner. Needless to say, both of them failed to recognize me. I just wanted to reach home at the earliest and hit the bed. Meanwhile, I thought I won’t even attempt to initiate with anyone I meet during my journey towards home.

While walking, suddenly I had a thought of calling up my mom and talking to her for a while. I felt that could be the best option to soothe myself and my wicked mind that was still pestering me to the core.

I took the deepest breath of my life and called my mom. The heartache that followed was deeper than the deepest breath I just took. It happened at the following moment when my own mom responded the call saying – “Whose this?”

Stunned, I froze. Wasn’t this the most horrifying question of my life? No. The next one was worse when I asked myself – Which life am I referring to? I was lost to such an extent that I started questioning myself about my own identity.

Who am I? Where did I come from? Where am I gonna go?