Relation is all about understanding. This is how the term "Relation" is usually defined.
Some of us may also say "Mutual Understanding".
It means, stronger the understanding between 2 human, stronger the bond; the bond of relation.
I question to myself, Do I really look for the understanding between both of us?
I don't feel so. What do I really look for is the other person should understand me and more he understands me, more stronger is the understanding between us. Probably, similar feeling comes from the other person as well.
Had it been that the understanding were between the 2 (literally), the PEACE would have never vanished in any kind of relations.
Why does a relation break? This is a usual question one feels like asking self after such thing happens. Imagine if the question would have been, With whom did I break the relation?
A very general answer to this is Relations are broken only with the person with whom they are built-up. I can never break the relation with a stranger. How can I? Relation didn't exist.
Next, Why did I built up the relation? It was because I liked him/her. Why did I break then?
The most simple answer - I don't like him/her anymore. There you are. So it's not the person that is the issue. It's the liking and disliking (which is my own). I can choose to like anyone and everyone in my life, no matter what.
Certainly, in a relation, there are difference of opinions, clash of some common things et al. Due to this, the conflicts do arise. This may also result into arguments and fights and then it's all over. The relation come to an end. This is what is normally seen.
Additonally, the commitments are taken of not talking to each other, not seeing each others face for life and what not !! Makes sense and truly this is the best thing, if this is not going to affect me. More percisely, this is absolutely alright if it is not going to create any damage forever.
Does this really hold true? No. Not really. Then what should I do? I feel that it was his mistake and he is responsible for everything.
Firstly, am I really looking foward for a solution. Yes, I am. To be very blunt, It's entirely my responsibility to work on the solution and solve the issues. Hey, but I am not responsible for the problems tht were created. Yes, but if it's me who want the solution, no one else but myself is gonna work on it.
Sounds absurd, huh !! Ok. Let me elaborate.
Do I feel that the other person is 100% responsbile for the problem created?
Yes, I feel so.
Am I sure? I am asking, Is he 100% responsible?
Umm, may be 99%.
That means I am ready to take 1% responsibility, right?
Well, yes I can say that.
Also, I want to solve this issue, right?
Well, yes but...
Wait... just answer in Yes or no.
Yes.
If I feel that, I am 1% responsible and on top of that, I want a solution, Did I show up 1% approach from my side to solve this?
If the answer is NO, the clear conclusion is I don't want a solution.
Well, but I don't want to bend. I mean, why should I?
Why shouldn't I? Don't I do anything for my luxuries in my life? Don't I slog at office to make money? Don't I respect my boss to impress him? At such junctures, Do I ask myself, Why should I? Why, in relations, then?
It's all about perspective. You feel that you are bending but that might really not be the case. The other person might feel that you are so humble and egoless to approach and are striving hard to get things in place.
Does it really work?
Ofcourse, it does. There is a logical reasoning behind it. The breaking of bond was an accident, may be a small damage. It can always be repaired. If I show up the approach and If I really want the solution, anything is possible.
Also, the person whom I have started hating is still loved by so many folks around. Ok, but How does that matter to me? Is it not enough that he ain't good with me? Well, True but that doesn't mean he is no good. He might just not be good with me and that too, temporarily. He was always good to me. Just a small ding doesn't make me throw the car. My 1% can very well repair it. I am sure he is feeling bad about it and not in a position to approach. Why can't I do so?
While reading, this might sound theory. I always feel like implementing theories with a challenge to prove them correct :)
If I want to give LIFE to each moment in my life, I will do anything for it.
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3 comments:
Hi Dilip,
I really liked what u hv written.Its simply gr8.
Gostei muito desse post e seu blog é muito interessante, vou passar por aqui sempre =) Depois dá uma passada lá no meu site, que é sobre o CresceNet, espero que goste. O endereço dele é http://www.provedorcrescenet.com . Um abraço.
Very few people can define Relatoin so clearly and rightly. Yes, "Relation" is always defined by only us and not both. I have never read this kind of stuff about relation before.
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