People call it Philosophy, I call it the way of life.
દરેક ક્ષણે, કાર્યે અને પ્રસંગે...
શું આ શરીરની ચિંતા માં લાગેલો છું?
તો કૃત્રિમ ઓળખની ચિંતા માં છું.
શું ઘર, કુટુંબ, પૈસા, વસ્ત્રોની ફિકર માં વહી રહ્યો છું?
તો એક અલ્પકાલીન વજૂદની ફિકર માં છું.
શું નિજભાનમાં રહીને, આત્મલક્ષે વર્તી રહ્યો છું?
તો શાશ્વત અસ્તિત્વ સમક્ષ છું.
Root Cause Analysis
At the root of all the happenings that are not to be taken a credit for, lies a simple but deeply ingrained habit: *blaming the external*.
Situations, people, outcomes: Everything outside becomes the cause of my inner disturbance.
This outward orientation keeps the cycle of karma alive.
The shift begins when attention turns inward.
Not as a concept, but as a lived enquiry: What is happening within me in response to what is happening outside?
The Core Error: Misplaced Responsibility
It is tempting to say, “I am responsible for everything.”
But this needs precision.
From the standpoint of ultimate truth, the bondage of karma is indeed due to my own inner states: Raag (attachment), Dwesh (aversion), and Moh (delusion).
However, external events themselves unfold through prarabdha (karmic fruition) and nimit (the catalyst).
And, at the core, prarabdh is something which is a result of my previous actions / purusharth that might have happened either during this birth or one of the previous births.
So the clarity is this:
Although, I might not be in a position to directly validate and justify that I am sole responsible if someone does something to me for no reason, I need to assure myself that this is happening to me because for sure, I have done something somewhere in the past (during the time immemorial, if I cannot find this during the current life)
And in any case, I am fully responsible for how I respond within and outside. And this is the purusharth of the present moment.
*_The Inner Axis of Nijbhaan, Nijbhaav, and Vrutti_*
From a perspective of awareness and intent, the spiritual journey revolves around three interconnected dimensions:
Nijbhaan: The state of being the knower, pure awareness
Nijbhaav: The inner purity free from distortion
Vrutti: The direction in which attention flows. The core intent.
When vrutti flows outward in identification, it strengthens false (fake) identity.
When it rests in nijbhaan, it dissolves bondage.
*_The Real vs The Fake Identity_*
At every moment, there are two identities operating:
1. The Fake Identity (Vyavaharik self)
➡️ Built on roles, relationships, and social positioning
➡️ Driven by validation, protection, and continuity
➡️ Rooted in raag, dwesh, moh and the 4 prime sagnas (ahaar, bhay, maithun, parigrah)
2. The Real Identity (Soul, Atman, the Self)
➡️ Pure knower (Gnata-Drashta)
➡️ Detached, unaffected, ever-present
➡️ Free from all dependency on outcomes
The conflict of life is nothing but...
Which identity am I prioritizing in this moment?
While dealing with the stuff in Sansaar, often I tend to say: “In the worldly context, this is necessary.”
_(Vyavahar ma to aam karvu pade)_
This statement needs to be examined deeply.
Is the action truly necessary?
Or is it driven by the need to protect, defend, or nourish the false/fake identity?
A powerful self-check in such moments:
Is there inner disturbance (fear, irritation, pride)?
Am I seeking validation or control?
If the outcome changes, will I feel affected?
Am I completely absorbed?
If the answer to any of these is “yes,”
then the action is not neutral; it is binding.
"Vyavahar" is Not the Problem. Identification is.
As long as I am embodied, vyavahar (worldly functioning) certainly will continue.
Actions will happen. Roles will be played. Decisions will be made.
The goal is not to reject vyavahar, but to purify my relationship with it.
I got to Act fully, but not become the actor.
*_Karma Bandh; The Actual Mechanism_*
Karma does not bind merely because actions happen.
Bondage occurs when:
There is kashaya (raag, dwesh, moh and krodh, maan, maaya, lobh), and
There is identification with the action
Without kashaya, even action remains non-binding.
So the focus shifts from:
Controlling actions
to
Purifying inner bhaav
Coming back to Vyavahar (that I usually defend mentioning that it needs to be taken care of)...
Using “practical necessity” as a justification often falls into the category of defending the fake identity, if it feeds attachment or ego.
If I (the soul) am in nijbhaan, yes, that can help the purification (shuddhna lakshe)
*_Guiding Principle from Shri AtmaSiddhi Shastra_*
Verse 36 gives a decisive direction:
There is only one path of ultimate truth across all time. That which supports this path alone is worthy of acceptance.
This means:
Any action, thought, or practice must be evaluated mainly on one basis:
Does it lead me closer to nijbhaan or further away?
This evaluation needs to be constant and pertaining to each moment, task, event...
*_The Endless Cycle; and the Exit_*
Since beginningless time, attention has remained outward.
Identification has remained with the non-self.
And karma has continued to accumulate.
If this pattern continues, liberation remains impossible.
But the exit is equally clear:
It is about the Shift...
▪️From doership to witnessing.
▪️From reaction to awareness.
▪️From identity to observation.
*_Living This in Real Time_*
In every situation:
▪️Recognize: This is Uday (karmic unfolding)
▪️Observe: What is arising within me?
▪️Detect: Is there kashaay?
▪️Stabilize: Remain in nijbhaan (knower state)
Action may still happen.
But bondage need not.
*_Final Clarity_*
The world will continue as it is.
Situations will arise as per karma.
Vyavahar will not stop.
However, one "shift" potentially is everything:
I am not the doer. I am the knower.
Of course, this needs to be considered with appropriate vigilance and responsibility.
A clear distinction of whether I am serving the Fake identity or Real identity is inevitable
With this "knowing", with this "vigilance & responsibility" and with this "distinction",
the chain of karma begins to dissolve.
ईश्वर, तेरे चरण में,
दौड़ के आया, शरण में,
मुझे तुझसे ये कहना है...
साँसों संग तू स्मरण में
दर्शन तेरा पाकर प्रभु,
शुद्ध में खो जाता हूँ...
तेरी यात्रा को जानकर,
बस तेरा हो जाता हूँ...
बस तेरा हो जाता हूँ
अब की बार जो बिछड़ा अगर,
भटकूँगा अति भव रण में...
मुझे तुझसे ये कहना है...
साँसों संग तू स्मरण में
तेरे रास्ते पे चल कर,
पाना है सम्यक दर्शन...
जो न हुआ यह अनुभव,
व्यर्थ है सारा जीवन...
व्यर्थ है सारा जीवन
ना हो ऐसा अब की बार,
साक्षी रहना है आचरण में
मुझे तुझसे ये कहना है...
साँसों संग तू स्मरण में
ईश्वर, तेरे चरण में,
दौड़ के आया, शरण में,
मुझे तुझसे ये कहना है...
साँसों संग तू स्मरण में
बहुत दूर से आया, करने दर्शन,
एक बार देख लो...
एक बार देख लो, मुझको भगवन...
निकला निगोद से, महेरबानी आपकी,
काल अनंत बाद, टूटी बेड़ी पाप की,
बादर पर्याय में...
बादर पर्याय में, मिला फिर जीवन...
बहुत दूर से आया, करने दर्शन...
आगे बढ़ा और, त्रस में बसा मैं,
विकलेन्द्रिय में, भवों तक फँसा मैं,
असंग्नी का...
असंग्नी का, हुआ तब मिलन...
बहुत दूर से आया, करने दर्शन...
पुण्य उदय से, संग्नी दिशा मिली,
विवेक कम था, लेकिन दशा खिली,
शुभ धन कमाया...
शुभ धन कमाया, ठिकाने था मन...
बहुत दूर से आया, करने दर्शन...
मनुष्य भव अब, है व्यवस्थित,
एक ही विकल्प है, पाना है समकित,
शुद्ध के लक्ष से...
शुद्ध के लक्ष से, क्रिया और भजन...
बहुत दूर से आया, करने दर्शन,
अब पास आपके...
अब पास आपके, है आना भगवन...
There are moments when I pause and observe; not the world outside, but the quiet movement within. And in that observation, these two verses from Shri AtmaSiddhi Shastra begin to unfold, not as philosophy, but as a mirror to my own inner state (which is actually "me").
Verse 78:
ચેતન જો નિજભાનમાં કર્તા આપ સ્વભાવ,
વર્તે નહીં નિજભાનમાં, કર્તા કર્મ પ્રભાવ.
Chetan jo
nijbhaan ma karta aap swabhaav,
Varte nahi nijbhaan ma, karta karm prabhaav.
Verse 121:
કર્તા ભોક્તા કર્મનો વિભાવ વર્તે જ્યાંય,
વૃત્તિ વહી નિજભાવમાં, થયો અકર્તા ત્યાંય.
Karta bhogta karm
no vibhaav varte jyaay,
Vrutti vahi
nijbhaav ma, thayo akarta tyaay.
Considering Verse
78 to start with…
The soul, in its
purest sense, is nothing but awareness i.e. knowing, seeing, being. When it
rests in this awareness, in Nijbhaan, it remains established in its own nature.
It does not become anything else. It does not carry the burden of action. It
simply knows.
The shift is
subtle, almost imperceptible in the exterior.
There can be subtle
instances where I experience that I am investing an effort of being aware
(albeit in the practice). However, soon as I am not rooted in that inner
knowing, this awareness loosens. I begin to slip. Not outwardly perhaps, but
inwardly. I start identifying. With thoughts. With emotions. With roles. And in
that identification, I unknowingly step into doership.
Now I am not just
witnessing anger; I am angry.
Not just seeing a
situation; I am affected by it.
And that is where
the second line becomes real:
Varte nahi Nijbhaan
ma, karta karm prabhaav.
In the absence of
awareness, I am no longer acting from my nature. I am being driven. Influenced.
Pulled by karmic forces already in motion. And in reacting to them, with raag,
dwesh, moh, I bind more.
The cycle quietly
continues.
The verse 121 deepens
this understanding:
Karta bhogta karm
no vibhaav varte jyaay,
Vrutti vahi Nijbhaav
ma, thayo akarta tyaay.
In this state of
vibhaav, this unnatural, outward-turned condition, I see myself as the doer and
the consumer. I act, I react, I feel, I suffer, I enjoy. Life becomes a
continuous chain of cause and effect, and I remain entangled within it.
Am I thinking to
stop the action or consumption?
Well, the
transformation does not come merely by stopping action. It comes by shifting
the direction of my vrutti i.e. my inner tendency.
Vrutti vahi
nijbhaav ma…
When the flow
turns inward…
When attention
settles back into its source…
When I begin to
remain aware, not intellectually, but directly…
Something
changes. Transformation is in the making…
Actions still
happen.
Words are still
spoken.
Life continues in
its full movement.
But within, a
distance emerges; not created… but revealed.
And in that, the
verse concludes:
Thayo akarta
tyaay.
The doer
dissolves.
This is where the
paradox becomes clear.
I may still be
playing my role in this world, just like an actor on a stage. The emotions may
be intense, the dialogues powerful, the involvement complete. But somewhere
within, there is a quiet, unwavering knowing:
“This is a role. This is not me.”
The actor
performs fully but does not become the character.
Similarly, when
awareness is present, life can be lived fully, but without ownership. Without
entanglement.
And yet, even
this analogy has its limitation.
Because the soul is not merely an actor standing apart from the role. It is more like a mirror (and rather beyond that as it reflects self and everything else)..
A mirror reflects
everything placed before it, be it fire, water, movement, stillness. But it
remains untouched. The fire does not burn it.
Only if the
mirror were to imagine, “I am burning,” would the illusion begin.
That imagination…
is Delusion i.e. Moh.
So, the essence
of both these verses, when seen together, becomes deeply personal.
The soul does not
become bound because it acts.
It becomes bound
because it identifies.
And liberation is
not about withdrawing from action, but about dissolving this false
identification.
When I am not
aware, I am carried by karma.
When I am aware,
I remain in my nature.
The actions may
look the same from outside.
But within,
everything has changed.
In the end, it
all returns to one simple, uncompromising truth:
When I forget
myself, I become the doer.
When I remain in
myself, I am only the knower.
And perhaps, the
entire journey, from bondage to liberation, rests in this one shift:
From involvement…
to Awareness!
मेरा मन भी कितना पागल है,
ये मोह निरंतर करता है,
और सामने हो प्रभु, आप तो भी,
ना फिकर उसे, ना डरता है...
क्या कहूँ जिनवर, ओ मेरे जिनवर...
जिनवर, जिनवर, मेरे जिनवर...
कैसे इसको सुलझाऊँ मैं,
और कैसे इसे जगाऊँ मैं,
करने है इसको राग और द्वेष,
एक पल भी ना ये समझता है...
क्या कहूँ जिनवर, ओ मेरे जिनवर...
जिनवर, जिनवर, मेरे जिनवर...
तेरी राह पे चलना ज़रूरी है,
और व्यर्थ "झूठी" मजबूरी है,
ये बात का निर्णय जो मैं करूँ,
फिर देखूँ मुझे क्या रोकता है...
क्या कहूँ जिनवर, ओ मेरे जिनवर...
जिनवर, जिनवर, मेरे जिनवर...
मेरा मन भी कितना पागल है,
ये मोह निरंतर करता है,
और सामने हो प्रभु, आप तो भी,
ना फिकर उसे, ना डरता है...
क्या कहूँ जिनवर, ओ मेरे जिनवर...
जिनवर, जिनवर, मेरे जिनवर...
स्वामी तुम हो मेरे मन में,
नदिया में और पवन में,
धरती पर और गगन में,
मेरे सारे जीवन में।
भक्ति प्रभु, चरणों में अर्पण है,
शत-शत बार, गुणों का कीर्तन है।
तुम ही मेरे दाता हो,
मुझे सच्ची राह दिखाते,
लाख बार जो पूछूं,
फिर भी मुझे सिखाते...
उपकार तुम्हारा ऐसा,
ना कभी चुका पाऊंगा,
दर पे तुम्हारे आकर,
बस शीश झुका पाऊंगा।
भक्ति प्रभु, चरणों में अर्पण है,
शत-शत बार, गुणों का कीर्तन है।
बतला दिया है तुमने,
सारा मार्ग स्पष्ट,
सभी प्रकार के कर्म,
मुझे हैं करने नष्ट...
पुरुषार्थ कठिन है लेकिन,
अवसर न फिर आएगा,
अज्ञान का घना अँधेरा,
जागृति से मिट पाएगा।
भक्ति प्रभु, चरणों में अर्पण है,
शत-शत बार, गुणों का कीर्तन है।
स्वामी तुम हो मेरे मन में,
नदिया में और पवन में,
धरती पर और गगन में,
मेरे सारे जीवन में।
भक्ति प्रभु, चरणों में अर्पण है,
शत-शत बार, गुणों का कीर्तन है।
तेरा मेरा नाता अमर,
लेकिन भटकूँ मैं तो इधर,
मेरे प्रभु, मुझको बता,
पहुँचूँगा कब अपने भीतर
कह रहा है अंतःकरण, अब ये बात ना टले,
तू जहाँ बस गया, नीयत मेरी वहीं चले,
निर्णय है लेना बनके निडर,
लेकिन भटकूँ मैं तो इधर...
तेरा मेरा नाता अमर,
कब तक भटकूँ, इधर उधर...
साथ तेरा ज़रूरी है, तू मसीहा मेरा है,
रोशनी से उजाला कर, मेरे यहाँ अँधेरा है,
अब की बारी, मैं चूका अगर
भटकता रहूँगा, जाने किधर
निर्णय ले लूँ तो शुरू हो सफर
आऊँगा तब, मोक्ष नगर
तेरा मेरा नाता अमर,
जल्दी मिलूँगा, तुझे अपने घर
मेरी साँसों में तेरा ही नाम है,
तेरा जीवन ही तेरा पैगाम है,
तोड़ दिए तूने तेरे सब करम...
अब है मेरा धरम,
करूँ कुछ तो शरम,
मोह को मार के,
मिटा दूँ सब भरम...
तूने जो रास्ता, दिया होकर निस्वार्थ,
चलकर उसपे, साधूँ मैं परमार्थ,
और कोई नहीं, विकल्प है शेष,
इसपे चलने से ही, जाएगा ग़म...
अब है मेरा धरम,
करूँ कुछ तो शरम,
मोह को मार के,
मिटा दूँ सब भरम...
हर पल ये अभ्यास में, डूबा रहूँ मैं,
कर्म उदय में, समता देखूँ मैं,
मानव भव ये, अनमोल बहुत,
ये विवेक कभी भी न हो कम...
अब है मेरा धरम,
करूँ कुछ तो शरम,
मोह को मार के,
मिटा दूँ सब भरम....
मेरी साँसों में तेरा ही नाम है,
तेरा जीवन ही तेरा पैगाम है,
तोड़ दिए तूने तेरे सब करम...
अब है मेरा धरम,
करूँ कुछ तो शरम,
मोह को मार के,
मिटा दूँ सब भरम...
This is about a contemporary Kathak show by Aditi Mangaldas and Aakash Odedera.
I watched Mehek yesterday... and somehow, it hasn’t left me yet.
It didn’t feel like a performance as much as stepping into someone’s inner world. An older woman, carrying time and unspoken memories within her, and a younger man who enters not as a disruption, but almost like a quiet presence that stirs something long untouched.
What unfolds between them isn’t a typical story. There are no clear beginnings or conclusions; just moments of coming close, pulling away, and returning again.
Somewhere along the way, I realised the discomfort wasn’t in them, but in the boundaries we’ve all been taught to accept which is about age, about desire, about what is “allowed" and what is "not".
The typical social taboo.
There’s a quiet recognition between them that feels deeper than romance. And what stayed with me most was her.... Throughout, She was completely herself, without apology or adjustment.
The relationship has a beautiful fragrance much beyond what an ordinary mind would contemplate.
The piece, the portayal doesn’t resolve anything. It simply lingers and keeps lingering...
Like a fragrance… still present, even after it’s gone...
The "Mehek" dwells!
On a Day of Remembrance
You lived a life of
immense challenges, yet you were anchored in a singular, higher purpose; and
you did not merely speak of it. You attained it.
More than that, you
shared the path.
You made it clear: this is not reserved for a few. With right discernment, it
is attainable.
You also reminded that
this path is not new. It is ancient. Timeless. Walked by infinite seekers
before.
Today, on your death
anniversary, the world will remember you. There will be talks, tributes,
reflections. Your life will be celebrated, your achievements admired, your
words repeated.
It will be a grand
remembrance.
But what about me?
Am I truly inspired or
just emotionally moved for a moment?
Do I deeply believe in what you attained or do I admire it from a distance?
Do I want transformation or am I satisfied with appreciation?
Will I limit myself to
praising you?
Will I convince myself that attending today’s events is enough for now?
If I say your goal is
the highest, then is it truly “my“ goal as well?
If it is my goal, does
it not have to reflect in how I spend my time, my energy, my attention?
A person who wants
wealth structures life around it. Everything else (food, rest, routine) supports
that goal.
If liberation, truth,
or self-realization is my declared goal, is it treated the same way?
Or is it given leftover space after everything else is done?
Learning about you does
matter. Praising you has its place.
But WHAT NEXT?
Do I keep repeating
this cycle… Inspiration, Admiration, Participation; and then return unchanged?
Is this subtle
satisfaction enough for me?
If yes, I should accept it honestly.
But if I truly want to
walk the path you walked, then I cannot stop at reverence.
I must reorganize my
life.
Otherwise, this day
becomes one more ritual where I celebrate your life and quietly postpone my
own.
Underlying reminder
for myself:
If inspiration does
not convert into direction,
and direction into discipline,
then inspiration slowly and unknowingly can become sedation.
ના કોઈની પ્રતીક્ષા
ના કોઈનો અભાવ છે
કદાચ આશ્ચર્ય લાગે
પણ! આવો જ કંઈક સ્વભાવ છે
ના કોઈ માટે દાંભિક લાગણીઓ
ના કોઈ પ્રત્યે તણાવ છે
બની શકે સમજવું મુશ્કેલ
પણ! આવો જ કંઈક સ્વભાવ છે
ના કોઈ એવી રોમાંચક ખુશી
ના ક્યાંય કોઈ ઘાવ છે
આ બધું વિચિત્ર લાગી શકે
પણ! આવો જ કંઈક સ્વભાવ છે
જિંદગી ધીમી ગતિએ જાય છે
એવું લાગે હવે ઠેરાવ છે
તમે મને ગાંડો કહી શકો
પણ! હવે આવો જ કંઈક સ્વભાવ છે
Atmabhranti sam rog nahi, Sadguru vaidya sujaan;
Guruajna sam pathya nahi, aushadh vichar dhyan.
- Verse 129, Shri Atmasiddhi Shaastra by Shrimad Rajchandra
Atmabhranti (Self-delusion) is described as the gravest of all diseases. This delusion is not merely intellectual error; it is existential misidentification. To consider the body as the Self, or to believe that body and soul are one, is the fundamental distortion.
Since beginningless time, this misidentification has persisted. It has resulted in continuous karmic association. This condition is not imposed externally; the soul itself is the locus of this bondage. However, this does not imply a conscious starting point i.e. ignorance itself is beginningless. Yet, whatever it is, it is and the state is experienced by the soul today / now.
Anyhow, the disease is deep-rooted, persistent, and self-sustained.
The verse then presents the Sadguru (the Enlightened Master) as an expert physician. This analogy is structurally precise: one who has directly experienced the Self is not operating on belief, but on realization, and therefore can indicate the path to liberation with clarity.
However, even the most capable physician remains ineffective for me unless I, as the patient:
Accept that I am diseased
Trust the diagnosis and the guide
Follow the prescribed discipline
This raises a critical question:
Do I truly accept that I am in a state of delusion?
Or has this condition become so normalized over infinite time that it no longer appears as a disease?
If delusion is not acknowledged as a disease, then even in the presence of a Sadguru, the possibility of healing does not arise. The Sadguru can indicate, explain, and guide, but unless I recognize myself as the one afflicted, the process of healing does not begin.
Let me assume, for a moment, that this acceptance arises:
That delusion is indeed a disease
That there exists an Enlightened Being who has transcended it
That such a Being can guide the path to liberation
What follows from this?
The verse provides a direct answer:
“Guruajna sam pathya nahi” : There is no regimen like the instructions of the Sadguru
“Aushadh vichar dhyan” : The medicine is contemplation and meditation
This introduces two measurable indicators of sincerity:
Do I actually follow the instructions of the Sadguru?
Do I engage in Vichar (contemplation) and Dhyan (meditative awareness)?
Without these, acceptance remains conceptual; not transformative.
This leads to another necessary inquiry:
What are the core instructions of the Sadguru?
Across time, past, present, and future, the realized beings articulate a consistent path. This is also affirmed in Verse 36 of Atmasiddhi Shaastra: there is only one path to the supreme truth across time.
Distilled to essentials, the instructions can be understood as:
Reduction of Raag (attachment) and Dvesh (aversion)
Not suppression, but understanding and gradual dissolution.
Recognition of the true identity as the Self (soul)
Distinct from body, mind, and transient states.
Cultivation of the witnessing stance (saakshi bhaav)
At the absolute level, the soul is knower-seer.
At the practical level, this must be progressively realized; not prematurely assumed.
Sustained inward orientation (antarmukhta)
Not a necessary withdrawal from action, but withdrawal from identification.
These are not independent steps; they are interdependent dimensions of the same effort (purusharth).
Now, the medicine:
Vichar (Contemplation)
Observing thoughts, tendencies, and reactions with clarity, without reinforcing attachment or aversion.
Dhyan (Meditation)
In Jain understanding, this includes both:
disciplined practice
and the eventual state of steady awareness
Meditation is not merely a passive experience; it is cultivated through right effort and right understanding.
At deeper examination, Vichar and Dhyan are not separate processes. They converge.
Sustained contemplation refines awareness.
Refined awareness stabilizes into meditative absorption.
This confluence weakens delusion.
If I claim:
The world does not bind me, but my attachment does
Delusion is a disease
The Sadguru is a true guide
Then the only valid verification is:
Do I reduce Raag-Dvesh in real situations?
Do I remain aware of the Self amidst activity?
Do I consistently engage in contemplation and meditation?
If not, then the acceptance, alas, is theoretical.
Atmabhranti is not an abstract concept. It is the operative condition of embodied existence.
The Sadguru provides the diagnosis, the regimen, and the medicine, but the walking of the path is non-transferable.
It demands sustained purusharth: a continuous effort to remain aware, to abide in saakshi bhaav, and to prevent identification with thoughts, words, and actions. This requires, especially in the beginning, a deliberate and repeated training of the mind; an ongoing discipline to loosen craving and aversion at their point of origin.
The path is singular, consistent across time, and experiential in nature.
Liberation is not granted. It is realized through the dissolution of delusion.
