1. So What?

Ask yourself.
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Am I really doing what I want to do in my Life?
Am I really being what I want to be in my Life?
If the answer to both the questions is yes, there is no need for you to read this blog further. It’s gonna be a waste of time.
Further, I would like to tell you that even if the answers to your Questions is No, I don’t promise you that after reading this you would be doing what you want to do and being what you want to be.
Still, if you choose to go ahead, it’s your choice.

What does life mean to me?
Well, you may think that this guy seems to be mad as he is the one writing a blog and asking question (and that too about himself) to the reader.
Ok. Ask this Question to yourself. So many answers will start coming out. Isn’t it?
See, again a question. Anyhow, you might have one or more of the following answers.
Hey, life means a lot to me. It’s all about loving my parents, spouse, kids, etc. It’s just about being together with near and dear ones. It has a lot to do with earning big bucks and maintaining a quality and standard. It means living happily and peacefully.
Some replies can be as short as having a dream job, having a great spouse, living a dream life & blah blah.
Are you doing all this literally and in true sense? Are you living your dream life?
Hats off to you, if your reply is yes.
Once again.. you can go ahead and stop reading further.

Have to or Want to..
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Do you see any difference between the two?
Make a couple of statements to yourself.
1. You have to go to office.
2. You want to go to the party.
Where are you going to enjoy? The obvious answer would be party.
Have a bit deeper though on this. What if you have to go to the party? You think, you are going to feel happy? Take another situation – You want to go to office. There are some situations where you really want to go to office. For instance, you are expecting a promotion letter or a letter of salary increment.
It sounds theoretical but it works. Attitude counts. “Have to” is ruled by external force and “Want to” has a relation with willingness.



Running on a treadmill?
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Money is the most important source of happiness. This is a very common statement. I beg to differ here. Money has nothing to do with happiness. This is what I believe.
I made this statement in front of one of my closest buddy and he says:
“To a certain extent, I feel that I have reached a stage where I realize that money is important - but not as much as I thought maybe even a year ago. Probably as I grow as a person I will realize the trueness of this statement even more and realize that money is all but means. It doesn’t have too much to do with happiness. I guess there has to be a point where you draw a line telling yourself that this is enough for me and anything over this is just a bonus and that bonus will not rule my life. I will rule that bonus. I will take it if I feel like and otherwise I won’t. My life will be only towards achieving that much where I have drawn a line. The time of my life that I get after achieving that is mine and I will not waste it in useless activities like making more money.”

Drawing a line is a very difficult decision but a very simple choice. If I sit back and plan to decide, my thirst is never gonna quench. It’s just matter of making a choice.
Wherever I choose, I can draw a line. Of course, If I want to draw a line and If I don’t have to draw a line.
This line is amazing. I’ll take it if I feel like otherwise, I won’t. This is the impact of choice.
Here he has a very practical question.
Do you think that “NO MONEY” situation can also make a person happy in today’s world?
Money is important and of course very important but only for physical comforts, materialistic pleasures & luxuries but when it comes to mental and emotional situation, money stands almost nowhere.
Let’s say u have a sudden rise of 30% in your salary. That will make you happy and you might start thinking of possessing some things like a new car, plasma TV etc.
This is just a thought. A thought of possessing a car or plasma is something which starts making you feel happy. The focus here is on the word THOUGHT. This is just temporary as your thought is not gonna last longer. Either some other thought will over shadow it or else you will go and get those things (physical satisfaction of possessing things).
Physical satisfaction is for ever since you have the stuff in your name.
What about mental state?
Imagine, you got a brand new Mercedes and you are not gonna tell anyone (NO ONE) about it for a months time. For that entire month, are you gonna stay completely happy? NO? Come on, you got your dream car in your own possession! Ok, physically you are happy but what is your mental state?
If money could make you happy mentally, then after getting a car (from that Money), it shouldn’t really matter if you are telling any one or no!! In any case, you ought to be happy.

All your life you have run after money and purchased a dream thing with that money but still, you are not happy? Your happiness did start with a thought and it ended in a thought. You always said that I am earning money for happiness. You earned money but did you earn happiness? Analyze this. It’s like you are running after something to achieve something but you still are more or less at the same place where you started off. Isn’t it similar to running on a treadmill?
Many people leave this planet with loads of money and asset. What can they take with them? Absolutely nothing. Am I right? Had you earned a lot of happiness, it would have made you satisfied.
Most of the people are unsatisfied at the time of their death. Why? The reason is their life was not satisfied. If you live a happy and satisfied life, I am sure you gonna die with utmost satisfaction.
Have you ever though on this statement. "I DON'T WANNA DIE RICH"
If you don’t wanna die rich, you can live rich in absolute sense.
If you live with richness in happiness and satisfaction, you are surely gonna die rich but rich in terms of happiness and satisfaction.

Mental Happiness
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My friend asks me a question.
Can you mentally be happy without being physically happy?
Case I: Your wife is very ill and you do not have enough money for her treatment.
Case II: You don't have money to give proper education to your kids.
How will you handle these cases above physically and mentally because of the absence of money?

Yes. I think one can be mentally happy without physically being happy.
We see a lot of people around who really don’t have excitement or in other words, hunger for luxuries like bigger car, better house, etc. They are always happy the way they are. They never feel that Life is a compromise.
Now considering your cases,
Such situations may arise. After all, it’s all apart and parcel of life.
In your situations, you feel like if you had money, there wouldn't be a problem. Right?
What if wife is very ill and you do not have enough TIME for her treatment.
Time in the sense, husband-wife are at a pretty remote village on their vacation and something happens. Due to the Time constraint, situations might get worse. Rarely happens, but yes does happen.
Let’s say, Time and Money both exists but what if there is some more unfortunate stuff coming on its way. For instance, Doctors are on strike.
Lastly and most importantly, if everything is ok, then is there a 100 % chance that the illness will be recovered?
It might still look like, besides money factor all other situations are more or less theory.
I am not defending the unavailability of Money here. That is going to be there. I am just putting a few more situations where in even money can't be helpful. But ultimately yes, I agree that a rich fella would get a better, timely and sophisticated treatment compared to a poor one.
In case of education, What if u have good money but u r in a place like Cyprus where in even if u throw a million bucks, u cant give a better quality of education to your kid.



(In)Security
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More Money = More Secured life. This is the common funda.
According to me, money gets you into more insecurity at times. Money brings a lot of issues in life.
The first and foremost is mental stress (along with “mental relief”). Quite ironical, yet can be proved.
It s like every action has an equal and opposite reaction. :-)
Insecurity increases when you have more money. Sounds fishy, isn't it but you can see some examples.
1) Tycoons have to be guarded almost always (reason - to be more secure). Hey don’t they have more money than a common man who doesn’t require any guards.
2) More richer you get you have to have more insurance policies and bonds etc. Reason – It adds to your security.
3) Thinking at a mental level - let s say you have 50K, then you would carry your self with worries about your 50K. What if you have 500 Million?
You potential of losing (bucks) increase. If you have 50K, no one is gonna snatch away 500M from you. It's not possible.
Of course, those 50K mean a LIFE to you but here I am only talking about mental insecurity level.
Hence, who needs more security in life? The obvious answer is the one who is more insecure. So, Insecurity increases when you have more money.

NOW
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I am known for asking weird questions. I recently asked a question to a set of people.
When will you be happy? This was the question.
I got very interesting answers. Few of them are as follows.
1) When I get married.
2) As soon as I change my job.
3) Once I go on a long vacation.
4) After I become a General Manager.

I noticed that each one of them saw the happiness in future. All of them saw happiness as a destination. I consider happiness as a journey. I am happy NOW. I was looking for this reply. I wasn’t expecting though. I firmly believe that if I am happy NOW, I’ll be happy for ever. There is a logic working behind it. The only time I can live is NOW. I can neither live in past nor in future. In the next fraction, NOW will become past and the forthcoming fraction of NOW is future. Hence, if I choose to stay happy NOW, I am committed to live happy forever. Come what may.

Living is present is nothing but Living NOW. You may think what a big deal is this? I am very much living now. Let us analyze this more practically. We spend most of the time thinking about something or other. Thoughts are either from the past or for the future. So, are you living NOW? The past is gone and the future is uncertain. You may ask what about our future planning. I do not disagree with that. Ask yourself, what is the definition of planning? How far or near do you plan and how much do you work on your plan? If you plan your work and work 100% on your plan, I believe your planning is appropriate. What happens in a real life scenario? Planning is more about pondering on thoughts. To be crude, most of them are foolish.
The definition of foolish is subjective. If you plan a work and don’t work on that plan you end-up wasting time. I believe that is foolishness.
Literally, NOW is this particular fraction of time. Logically, NOW is the productive & constant output you give in your life over a period of time. NOW can be as small as making a coffee or as big as completing a project.

There is nothing like attempting to live in present or living NOW. It’s just living in present or living NOW. You may ask, how can I live now if so many thoughts come and hammer my mind? Thoughts are always gonna be there flowing in and out. Can’t help it. Control over thoughts sounds more of a theory. It’s doesn’t seem to be a logical solution. What is in my hands? I cannot stop the thoughts flowing in and out but I can surely choose not to go deeper in thoughts. There is no need to go ga-ga over it. Still, might sound theory. I agree. Practice is the key.

Living NOW will give you a feeling of being happy, content and satisfied.

My friend asks me: “What if the present situation is not very good?”
He adds: “Consider an example of a death or a fight or any other problem that you might be faced with. In such cases, is it always good to live the present? Probably, time is the best healer and maybe to think about the future is not a bad idea. Our thoughts keep flickering between past and future – they are not always focused on the present but in a way your future is dictated by your present. Hence, living in the present is also quite warranted if there is some action that you do NOW (present) which is good for NOW (present) and which might not be so good for later (future), then it would be very difficult when that future becomes your present and then your thoughts would rather be involved thinking about the past when you took that decision. So, it is a thin balance that one has to strike.”

The above sentences are thought-provoking.
Ultimately, if you wanna be happy you just have to BE. No matter what.
If the present situation is no good and thinking about future makes you happy, I feel it’s absolutely perfect. Still analyze deeper and ask yourself:
Does that fetch me satisfaction and happiness from within?
If the answer is no, then the logic is simple... if u r not happy and satisfied now, what are the chances that you would be happy and satisfied in future.
I mean, can the same kind of mentality fetch you happiness and satisfaction.

Dream-Life
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Most of us have as less as one or as more as infinite dreams. Dream is an idea about having something (or rather being something) which doesn’t exist in present.

What you have today can't be your dream?
If I ask you, what is your dream job? The answer might be – My dream job is to work with XYZ Corp which is the best one on this planet.
Hello! Where are you? STILL FINDING HAPPINESS!!
You may say NO. I am happy but am looking for something better as I am quite ambitious. Does craving about some thing better make me ambitious, always?

Imagine:
If your present life is your dream life.
If your present wife is your dream wife.
If your present job is your dream job.
If your present friends are your dream friends.
How do you feel? Quite satisfied and content, isn’t it ?
Some of you might disagree and still say that in saying so, I m narrowing down my ambitions, stopping myself from earning money, happiness, etc
I would say that is the fact. You are right in saying so but the whole truth is:
I want to be ambitious because as a result of that I will get happiness
I wanna earn money and just RUN after that because as a result of that I will get happiness.
That is the mindset. But how long is this race gonna last?
Just analyze this with self.
My duration of Running < running =" My"> My duration of being (& staying) happy?
Still ok buddy. You are still gonna enjoy life

Here comes the last one which is the bitter truth for most of us.
My duration of Running (almost till the end of life) >>>>> My duration of being (& staying) happy (almost zero)?
WHAT A WASTE!!!!! Did it make any difference if you lived your life or didn’t?

Health
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Most of the times, we worry our physical health. Where does this “worry” scene appear? It appears in our mind, right? When our mind is unhealthy, does our physical body take pain to think about it? No. It’s again our mind who takes pain. Imagine the situation of our mind. If anything goes wrong, it’s the mind that is the centre of problem and also the centre of solution. So whose health is of more importance? Doesn’t it prove that staying mentally fit makes you an overall fit person.

Timepass
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One of my friends told me once: Life is a timepass and we all are waiting for death.
Timepass is a term usually used for the things which we do to kill our time. Basically, it’s killing time but that looks rude. Hence, according to him, Life is all about killing time. I was quite surprised at this note at I thought it was pretty absurd. When I really looked into it, I found that it is so very true. Life is just a timepass. I felt the there are so many things I have “achieved” in my life. What if I haven’t achieved them? I am sure I would have done something else. What if not something else? Some other stuff than something else, true? What for? I had some time in my life and I wanted to do it to spend (rather, kill) my time.

Chapter
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Life is all about various chapters that we are looking up to open and close. When we get frustrated or irritated or saturated with one chapter, we feel like closing it and opening a new one. Why are we happy when we are into our academics? The reason is we know the fix duration of that chapter. I am gonna study for 5 years. That’s it. What after that? When we take up a job or get into business, we don’t have any duration for that. All we crave about is money. Of course, we do crave for work satisfaction as well and this is what leads to frustration. At some certain point, job becomes frustrating. The main reason for this dislike is the craving for money is not intense. Besides, there was no fixed duration, no particular motivation for doing it. This leads to frustration. What the hell am I doing this? I need a new chapter now. Probably, I should get married or else I should study further so that I can give a new direction to my life. What will happen after you get married? A new chapter of your life begins. How long can you stand this newness and the excitement related to it? There comes a point where you think you need to extend your family. In this process of switching chapters, you tend to close your book. Do you realize that?
I am not telling you to stay away from marriage or family. Let us come to our point. Our point is all about living a happy and satisfied life. Do anything that can make you happy.

Limitless
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When do you think you can go beyond limits? If you break the rules defined by society, your folks will tell you that you have gone out of your limit. The fact is something else. If you feel something is wrong you would prefer to stay in limits but if you feel that whatever you are doing is ok, probably, you would love doing it. Let us take a simple example. You like to drink beer. If you feel that it’s a good thing to do, you will not have any set limits for it. You folks might have just because they think that this is not good. Hence, whatever is good usually doesn’t have any limits. People usually curse the characters who are criminals for the crime they do. They say to each other – “Doesn’t he realize that there has to be a limit for such things.” He is not going to realize it until and unless he feels it is bad, it is to be avoided. Once he feels so, the limits will be set.

Demon
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I believe – “Everybody has a Demon within. Most of the people just not let it come out”. There might be several reasons for not letting it come out. Some people might have fear of god where as some might think it’s a sin. Some do think how he will be looked upon.
Let’s take an abstract side of it. Consider for example that rape is not a crime. In fact, it’s a good thing to do it. As I told you, this is just an abstract point. Now, imagine what will be the outcome? The whole idea is that. Things are just looked upon from the view-point of their outcome. If I commit a crime, I will get the punishment. Just because we are afraid of the punishment, we don’t commit it. Analyze this.
If you are doing something unethical and not being caught, you are ok with it. Those who are not ok will be so because they think that if not now then I might be caught later and if not later than for sure in god’s custody. Killing an ant is a crime in one of the religion and hence, people don’t kill it because they fear the consequences and not because they love ant. If they really do so out of their love, I really would love to appreciate it and touch their feet for the same. On the contrary, had it been love, they would have never hurt anyone’s feelings.

Killing
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I don’t believe that killing some one is just putting an end to his life. Killing some one has a lot more to do besides that. I might be killing some one every moment. The killing happens at mental and emotional level as well. We just don’t fear it because it is not a said crime. The outcome, though, can be as much as or even more than the physical killing. We always say that our body is controlled by our mind. If I am attacking and killing the mind i.e. the mental and emotional state, am I not killing the person?

Many a times, we say to ourselves that I am in such a pathetic situation that I am dying each second. It sounds difficult to digest, but it is more or less in a true sense. We do die numerous times in our life. Some of the times we don’t realize it. Many a times we do realize but either we can’t do anything or we don’t want to do anything about it.

Gossip
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Gossip, according to me is nothing (literally nothing) is a discussion about someone (who is not physically present) and the outcome is happiness if that someone is into some issues/troubles/complications and is jealousy when that someone has achieved something or is just happy. What you pretend might be totally opposite of the outcome.

Whenever we talk about gossip, we target at women. It is not the fact. Gentlemen do love it and like getting involved into it but just like to pretend that they are far away from it.

Routine
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What is routine?
Wakeup-Brush-Eat-Work-Eat-Work-Eat-Fuck-Sleep-Wakeup.
This cycle is nothing but routine. I feel you enjoy this routine. If no, then read on. Let me first tell you that it is not going to change after reading this. Yes, you can change the view-point and you might feel it is changed. View-point, here is nothing but adding some spice to routine. You would say that I can add spice in my food but how do I do that in my work? It’s not difficult. You can do a lot of things. For instance, stand up and dance a few steps. “Are you crazy?” You will say this. Yes. I am crazy. If you don’t want to do so, it’s ok. You can just visualize yourself doing that. Can’t you? That will add the spice. Go to the bathroom. Look in mirror and laugh at your being. This will also add spice. All these are simple things which we seldom think about. Just a thought will add spice.

Zero
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How s life going on? If I ask you, most of the times, you would say - “Just routine”. Is this the same you who once believed that every day is a new day and it should feel like I am achieving something each day and living each moment. This is a general statement. I have come across many friends in life who have thought the same way. Today, it has just become routine which eventually happens to be a very sweet way of saying that life has no charm and it’s just boring with all usual things.
I call this as an absolute Zero. Now, the question is: Is Zero a good or bad. Think over it.
After all, it is all about perception. There might be times when we think that our life is in a positive or a negative shape but finally, isn't it always at a zero anyways? Maybe it's true that the perception of it being a non-zero is good. But, all in all, makes no difference if we look at a larger picture i.e. bird's eye view of our life stand alone and/or as compared to the rest. Still, the question persists. Is Zero a good or bad? I feel Zero is neither good nor bad. It’s just a Zero. It can be taken in terms of NOTHING or also taken as CONTENT or can also be taken as HAPPY or can be taken as JUST GOING WITH THE FLOW (where life takes). Yes. I firmly believe that it's finally Zero always.
Zero can always save you from anything in life. I strongly believe that come what may, at the end of it, It's ZERO!!

Control
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A near-dear buddy of mine always tells me – Yaar (i.e. Dear Friend), everything is possible but have control over mind (thoughts to be precise) is impossible. I ask him, why you wanna have control over your thoughts. He says – Thoughts are killing yaar. They take you to heaven in a second and hell in another. They turn you wild. They make you feel pathetic at times. Saala, kya karne ka yaar? (Man, what to do?) I tell him – no need to attempt to control them. Just let them come and observe them coming. After that, just do what you feel like doing it. You can have multiple choices here. Just take a small example. You might feel like going to terrace and jump from there. How far can this thought take you? The farthest it can take you is to the ground via the terrace i.e. the farthest you can reach is you go ahead and implement this one. Are you really gonna do this? No. What will you do then? You will just start thinking about something else. How long will this though remain in your mind? Hardly a second cos by that time it would be over-ruled by some other thought.
Now, did you control this one? Actually, NO. It was just over-ruled by some other thought. Similarly, the things which you actually don’t want to implement will surely go away in no time. Let s take another example. You have a thought of switching on your television. What will make you switch it on? If you want to switch on, then only you will switch it on, right? Otherwise what will happen? Some other thought will attack and will over-rule it. Hence, I believe that there is absolutely no need of controlling the mind or restricting the thoughts flowing in and out. It’s just a matter of choosing what you want to do after that. The punch line is - “A thoughtless mind can never be thought of”. Mind is like time, always up and running.


Flexible
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Most of the people I come across tell me that they are quite flexible in life. Many times, I look into myself and ask me - am I flexible? I discover that I am flexible but immediately I add the following three words – with my rigidity. Merging, it becomes – I am flexible with my rigidity. Quite contradictory statement sounding abstract but yet true. Most of the people I feel are flexible with their rigidity. This is my personal opinion. You usually tend to make yourself comfortable. When you try to make others comfortable, what happens behind the scenes? You feel comfortable in making others comfortable. Isn’t it? What if you don’t feel comfortable in an attempt to make other’s comfortable? You will set the limits to your flexibility and what is that? You have a set (rather RIGID) definition of flexibility in your mind and you will not cross the limits. I believe this is nothing but being flexible with your rigidity.

Wrapping up, I believe that life will be moving anyways. Its my choice how am I gonna live it.
If I stand by my choice, its good and if not, SO WHAT?

Dedicated to my life - PRITI.

Special gratitude towards the powerhouses of my inspiration.
Dhiren H. Shah aka "SIR"
Hemal V. Botadra
Jimit P. Shah
Suchit A. Doshi
Vikas S. Kapdoskar