7. Am I Responsible?

It was condemned as the most barbaric incident ever. Terrorism just became more terrifying. Mortal Combat was happening on the streets. The difference was – Only one side was equipped with arms while the other was simply empty handed and that was the common man. Needless to say, I am speechlessly talking about the catastrophic terror which struck Mumbai, the maximum city of the world on the 26th of November 2008.

Sixty odd hours, ten odd suicidal men and investment of less than half a million dollars resulted in a loss of few hundred invaluable lives and millions of dollars worth of infrastructure and assets. Additionally, hundreds were left permanently injured and thousands mourning for those family members who will only be in their minds and hearts for the rest of life.

The after-effects were all the more atrocious. Be it statements from our beloved politicians, be it the irresponsibility shown by the head representatives of our nation, be it the opposition blaming the ruling party or be it the common man protesting against the administration.

The last one might sound awkward though I feel it’s apt. A protest resulting in nothing won’t help. Forgetting this unforgettable incident will take no time. The blame-game will continue forever. Everything will be normal soon (I should say – it’s almost normal for most of us now). The cityite will be honored and praised with highly motivating lines. “Come what may, the spirit of Mumbai is always alive” – would be a diplomatic statement spread all around by media and the so-called rulers of the nation.

What the heck! In such a dreadful financial situation, I cannot afford to lose job. What will I do sitting home? Jeopardy is the part of life. I can’t just wait for everything to get completely stabilized, especially with the constant embedded fear of some one else taking my job and snatching away my bread (and butter for a few and jam for a very few).

Coming back to protest, I feel I should understand the responsibility now. Sacking a couple of ministers (whom I have elected) won’t make sense. They will be replaced by their brothers from another mother and a brother of thief could be a bigger thief. I just cannot get down on streets, object, shut down the work, grumble about the situation for a few days and sleep till another incident happens.

This is the time to get well-versed with the public administration. Do I know that I can file a PIL (Public Interest Litigation - http://59.92.116.99/eldoc1/b40b/01dec07lnv1.pdf) against the government? Do I know I have right to information (RTI - http://persmin.nic.in/RTI/welcomerti.htm)? Do I know I can cast a vote against NOBODY (“49-O” - http://lawmin.nic.in/ld/subord/cer1.htm)? Do I know that there is an open door policy for contacting the corporator, the local MLA (Member of Legislative Assembly) and the MP (Member of Parliament)?

When it comes to all this, I always end up saying – I don’t have time, this is not my cup of tea, who will fall into this pit, if at all I plan to take action who will support me, in doing so, I will end up getting trapped and blah blah. The truth is - Neither I wanna invest my time nor energy since everything is smooth in my life till date. Even if something turns haphazard, I will find my ways to smoothen it but certainly not get into something which I believe is a bigger mess. A few days of grousing will soothe everything. This is the way I am fabricated to live.

I want to condition myself to believe just one thing – If I don’t take the responsibility, I better not moan about it. Either I take the charge or tolerate the things. There ain’t any third path.

PS: Writing such articles also makes no sense if this spark is not going to ignite the fire. It hardly takes any time to cool off the burning aspiration.

6. Ego - A Verse.

There is this 3 letter word, EGO
That doesn’t let me freely flow
Each time I feel like learning
Dear EGO says, I know, I know

It doesn’t allow me to Bow
Neither does it let me grow
It always makes me stop
Whenever I want to go

Should I blame EGO or no?
Am I not the one, who did sow?
I am not ego but Ego is mine
This is something I did follow

But the reality is written below
I am ego and that’s the blow
If I experience this, there is a scope
To turn it off or at least make it low

PS:

Though reality (I am EGO) is not the ultimate truth, it’s realizing that I have always felt within that “I am EGO” but always pretended that EGO is mine and hence have always ignored thinking it as a 3rd party. This realization ultimately might lead to analyzing that I am not EGO but something else, which is a mystery for me as I am incomplete and so cannot comment further.

Last but not least, Thank you so much Suchit for your apt inputs, although haven't yet framed all of them.

5. Small Stuff.

While putting on my contact lenses last evening, I realized that the one I put in the right eye was giving some itching sensation. I pulled it off, rinsed and put again. Again, the same sensation. This was due to a minute dust particle which was either on the lens or in the eye. I rinsed my eyes and lens a couple of times but this sensation would linger. Frustrated and Agitated, Finally I gave up and put spectacles.

The similar thing happened this morning. I had an itching sensation after the first insert; this time in the left eye. As I didn’t have much time, I planned to have breakfast with the itching feeling and decided to think about the lens post breakfast.

To my surprise, post breakfast, I didn’t have any such sensation. It had vanished. I started thinking, how come it just happened? The mind was diverted for a few minutes and all the pain caused by the small stuff was gone.

Doesn’t this happen in my day-to-day life? Aren’t there any such small glitches happening? Don’t I get such hiccups almost every day? What do I do?

I focus on it. The more I get involved, the more it loiters. If I give myself a break and just ignore it for a few minutes, I am sure it would go away even with me knowing about it.

“Don’t sweat the small stuff and it’s all a small stuff” says Richard Carlson very aptly. It’s a book worth implementing.

4. D- Day: Nov 14, 08.

Is there any vital decision to be made on this date? Any big deals gonna be signed? An uprising in the happening? Is the world undergoing any assessment?

Sorry, but nothing of that sort. What is this all about then? Puzzled? Read on…

In a couple of days from now, 3 bollywood movies of dissimilar genre are ready to hit the silver screen. The only similarity I see is all these one word movies are starting with the 4th English Alphabet, D. Hence, it’s gonna be a D day.

When it comes to hype and expectations, Dostana tops the chart. I am sure this flick would be quite a usual one with certainly a fresh look and a lot of catchy camera work and obviously Piggy Chops, who will serve as an eye candy once again after the recent Fashion. Of course, if at all I make it for this one; I will be entering with zero expectations. All the best to K Jo and Mansukhani for this venture.

The next on the chart is Dasvidaniya (which means Good Bye in Russian). Somehow, the promos seem to be quite unusual but I personally feel this would be a light romantic. The soothing part is the squad of class actors which will make me feel like watching it once but I shall prefer to try it out only if the box office verdict turns out to be pleasing. All the best to Azam Khan and Shashant Shan for this endeavor.

The third big (controversy has made it big) gun is Deshdrohi. An absolute naïve cast and crew, lack of avant-garde look & feel and junky music – All the above factors, surprisingly I feel, are not going to be an obstacle any more for this flick to click. These factors are overshadowed by the subject of the movie and the time of its release. I am looking forward for a DVD print to be released soon so that I can enjoy this flick at my private lounge aka my master bedroom. All the best to KRK and Jagdish Sharma for this gamble.

This is D, Oops Dilip signing off….

3. Diverse.

There are times when I think I need to diversify. It’s been long I have been doing the same thing. The ultimate aim is to make money; whether I diversify or not. This is what I would feel few years back. Now, I feel that although I need to make money, I don’t see it as an ultimate aim.

When I take pen & paper and start jotting down the things I want to do, the list is almost endless. Still, why do I take away my focus and start resuming what I have been doing since ages? Is it because I feel that the so called things are not going to earn me bread and butter? I don’t think so.

Analyzing further, I have a feel somewhere deep within that if I do something different than what the entire world is doing, what will be the repercussions? Will I be treated as a moron or an insane? Will people say that I am nuts to make such weird choices. Will my folks ask me to continue what I have been doing as that is the mere and correct path to success?

This is what others will think and say, which might eventually influence me and ultimately, I will tell my self – the world is not crazy to run after money. There will be some certain purpose behind the same. Also, if I don’t work at this phase of my life, I will become lethargic and gradually lose my senses. Besides, I will see my future in some asylum where in people will be busy with my rehabilitation.

To get rid off the feeling of diversifying, I will focus on the examples of those who have diversified and failed. On top of that, I will focus on the success examples in the typical world that have climbed the ladder of success with hardly any visible obstacles.

Can I not find any success stories in the areas I want to diversify? Can I not create one such story? A self epic of a person (me, myself) who dared to swim opposite the flow and attained success in the way he felt always. Memoirs of a MAXIMUM life.

2. Pain and Pleasure.

Before every Pleasure, there lies a Pain.
Hence people rightly say, No Pain, No Gain.

There are times when the Pain is full of Strain
While at times, it’s like a smooth terrain

Pain seems to be depressing if I use my brain
Heartily, Pleasure without pain is simply vain

I feel, Pain is a seed and Pleasure is the grain
In absence of Pain, value of joy doesn’t retain

Accepting the Pain ought to be the task main
Followed by enjoying the Pleasure again and again

Initially, I thought of replacing Enjoying with Accepting in the last line but then I kept as it is.

1. Introspect.

I possess a typical syndrome called “momentary influence”. Earlier, I have written about this. Why do I have this syndrome? This is something I don’t want to think about. Neither do I want to think of getting rid off the same.

What I want to focus on here is the word momentary. What If I look forward to eradicate the word momentary and make it read as permanent (without inserting the word). Can I live up that mere influence for a life time? Why do I swing even before answering this question?

There might not be a particular reply but this can generally be due to other thoughts popping up and showing off their importance in life. Ever since the time I started making my own choices, have I stuck to one single purpose that influenced me? Some might have a reply as YES and I truly salute them.

Before the passionate YES, I just want to raise a question. Had it been the case, would I not always be happy, content and satisfied (Come what may)? If I am, the salute stays.

What if I am not? Doesn’t that mean, something else keeps on influencing me at regular intervals?

What happens when I sit back and introspect this? Rather, in such situations, I do always feel like getting into the introspection stage. What do I actually do? I think about the influence and the further action to be taken. I start fabricating the do’s and don’ts for the future. What next? Is another influence ready to catch up my mind?

I feel - Introspection needs to be written down in length and then worked upon in such a way that the word momentary gets rid off in a moment.