10. Crossing the Ocean.

Crossing the Ocean | A Choice, Not a Concept

Suddenly, I paused at a question that refuses to leave me now:

Do I truly want to cross the ocean of Sansar; or am I comfortable floating / sinking in it?

That pause exposed something uncomfortable.

For infinite time literally without beginning, this soul has remained bound in karmic bondage. Not because it had to, but because the default choice has always been the same: to continue, not to break.

I say “infinite” casually, but when examined, it is terrifying.

It means:

I have never experienced "absolute freedom".

I have never known what it means to exist without bondage.

I have only repeated cycles, endlessly. The cycle that has no beginning either.

Most of this journey has not even been as a human.

It has been in Sthaavar existence i.e. immobile, constrained, dependent. A state where even the possibility of conscious movement or choice does not exist.

That is not just a limitation. It is near-total helplessness.

From there, through an unimaginable struggle, Evolution happened.

From one-sensed to multi-sensed existence.

From immobility to movement.

And now, this Human birth.

Not ordinary. Exceptionally rare, truly extremely rarest of the rare. Even if it doesn't fit in the mind, it is unimaginably rarest of the rare.

Only here (in the Human birth) exists Vivek, the capacity to Discern.

Every other being lives.

Only a Human can choose the direction of existence.

The Brutal Reality

Even now, despite:

▪️A properly functioning body

▪️A stable life

▪️Access to knowledge

▪️Guidance from the enlightened

▪️Clarity about soul and karma

…the default tendency has remained unchanged:

And it is: To continue what has always been done.

Accumulate. React. Indulge. Repeat.

Even “good actions” often remain within the same loop of merit instead of liberation.

That is not freedom.

That is a more comfortable form of bondage.

The Core Error

The soul is not the doer; it is the knower.

Yet, by identifying with body, mind and actions,

it assumes doership and binds karma. 

This is not a small mistake.

This is the root of infinite suffering.

What Needs to Change

Not knowledge.

Not availability of path.

Not external conditions.

Only one thing: Decision (Nirnay).

A clean, irreversible shift:

From "continuing" the default cycle

To consciously "breaking" it

What does this "Decision" demands?

Relentless inner checking:

In this very moment, am I acting or merely witnessing?

Am I reinforcing identity, or dissolving it?

Am I accumulating, or freeing?

Am I aware, or mechanical?

Not occasionally.

Continuously.

No Illusions Left

If I do not change this now:

I return to the same cycle

The same patterns

The same bondage

And this exact combination of super precious Human birth, awareness, guidance, capability may not arise again for an incomprehensibly long time.

The Only Real Question

So the question is no longer philosophical.

It is immediate. 

It is Personal and Unavoidable.

Do I want to CROSS or NOT?

Because if the answer is yes,

then the delay is dishonesty; a dishonesty to myself incurring "my" loss, the loss that will cost the "Real Identity"

And if I am honest, then the only valid moment to flip the choice is: Not today, Not later. It is NOW