I was driving and someone from behind rammed into my car. Immediately, I applied brakes and came out fuming and turned around. Before I take the first step towards the car that collided into mine, I discovered that it was my cousin who was driving it. With a big grin, I greeted him. He smiled back too but there was a sheer embarrassment evident on his face. From within, I was still fuming which he would have comprehended as well.
What happened next is not vital. The analysis was all the more important and a good learning for me. Had it been some one else who banged into my car, I would have certainly taken him left and right. The incident was same but my outer behavior was quite dissimilar. Why does this happen?
It’s all because of the priorities set in my mind. In this incident, I preferred relations over fiscal loss. There are instances when real brothers fight over the assets and properties where as no where related people sit back and compromise.
Similarly, I need to observe and analyze what are the situations I come across in day to day life and my reactions depending on certain factors. This can also lead me to alter some unnecessary reactions. I may want to prefer a long term peace over short term fury, for instance.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
6. What Next? - Opinions.
Request - In my opinion, before reading this post, going through the post below this one can be a better choice.
The previous posting ended with a question. Hence I got some feedbacks on What Next?
The most common answer, rather opinion was – Embrace Spiritualism. The other opinion was to just live life as it comes - as an Observer. Whatever happens, develop a practice of observing it.
Spiritualism sounded just too fanciful. For me, being spiritual means getting into study and belief of something which is a relgious tradition followed since years and includes too many myths and no logic embedded whatsoever.
Being an observer seemed somewhat canny. The theory was to just observe everything happening around and not to react with all the involvement. Whenever it’s necessary to react, do it but being an observer in its entirety. For instance, I am standing at the window of my apartment and a visitor car comes in and bangs my neighbor’s car. Observing this, how will I react? If same thing happens with my car, how will I react? If there is absolutely no difference in the reaction, I am an observer in its totality.
Whatever has happened has happened. There are legal ways (set rules) to sort it out. The consequence of using those ways might result in anything but certainly just reacting adversely on the thing that has happened is not gonna help. If the result is in my favor, I feel happy and lucky and if not, I can and do blame my destiny. Sometimes, I start with blaming others (third-party, government, society and law) but then end up blaming my destiny. Ultimately, it’s all believed to be destined. Hence, accepting the destiny is a viable approach.
In this entire process, what I have done is observed and accepted. I am not neglecting the efforts put but surely there is no logical trail. Had there been a logical and systematic action-reaction-result cycle, life would have been all set for me. All my actions with an intention and preparation of getting successful would have resulted in success. I always feel – I can do this; In my absence, this can’t be controlled; I have the capability of turning the cards. With this feeling, I get into the intricacies of joy and grief resulting from success and failure respectively.
“If I do something and as a result of that, something should happen” is ok but if “should” is replaced by “must” and in reality if something that was considered as “must happen” doesn’t happen, I get dejected. “Should” can be considered as being an Observer and “Must” can be considered as being logical. It doesn’t mean that observers are illogical. Logic, here is taken as something what I can apply in an action and always expect to get a constant and set outcome.
Spiritualism, I believe is not way different than this. If I live a life of an observer, I can always be awake and alert in my actions. I start believing that not everything (crudely, nothing) is in my control. I accept calmly whatever happens. Neither triumph excites me nor does breakdown result in anguish. Hence, I can live in peace throughout. The ultimate goal of spiritualism is to live and rest in tranquility. Worshiping god, believing in his words, following his path are all ways and modes of attaining serenity.
“What Next?” might not have been replied to any extent but thinking on above opinions of spiritualism and observer, I do have the reply to “What Immediate Next?”
The previous posting ended with a question. Hence I got some feedbacks on What Next?
The most common answer, rather opinion was – Embrace Spiritualism. The other opinion was to just live life as it comes - as an Observer. Whatever happens, develop a practice of observing it.
Spiritualism sounded just too fanciful. For me, being spiritual means getting into study and belief of something which is a relgious tradition followed since years and includes too many myths and no logic embedded whatsoever.
Being an observer seemed somewhat canny. The theory was to just observe everything happening around and not to react with all the involvement. Whenever it’s necessary to react, do it but being an observer in its entirety. For instance, I am standing at the window of my apartment and a visitor car comes in and bangs my neighbor’s car. Observing this, how will I react? If same thing happens with my car, how will I react? If there is absolutely no difference in the reaction, I am an observer in its totality.
Whatever has happened has happened. There are legal ways (set rules) to sort it out. The consequence of using those ways might result in anything but certainly just reacting adversely on the thing that has happened is not gonna help. If the result is in my favor, I feel happy and lucky and if not, I can and do blame my destiny. Sometimes, I start with blaming others (third-party, government, society and law) but then end up blaming my destiny. Ultimately, it’s all believed to be destined. Hence, accepting the destiny is a viable approach.
In this entire process, what I have done is observed and accepted. I am not neglecting the efforts put but surely there is no logical trail. Had there been a logical and systematic action-reaction-result cycle, life would have been all set for me. All my actions with an intention and preparation of getting successful would have resulted in success. I always feel – I can do this; In my absence, this can’t be controlled; I have the capability of turning the cards. With this feeling, I get into the intricacies of joy and grief resulting from success and failure respectively.
“If I do something and as a result of that, something should happen” is ok but if “should” is replaced by “must” and in reality if something that was considered as “must happen” doesn’t happen, I get dejected. “Should” can be considered as being an Observer and “Must” can be considered as being logical. It doesn’t mean that observers are illogical. Logic, here is taken as something what I can apply in an action and always expect to get a constant and set outcome.
Spiritualism, I believe is not way different than this. If I live a life of an observer, I can always be awake and alert in my actions. I start believing that not everything (crudely, nothing) is in my control. I accept calmly whatever happens. Neither triumph excites me nor does breakdown result in anguish. Hence, I can live in peace throughout. The ultimate goal of spiritualism is to live and rest in tranquility. Worshiping god, believing in his words, following his path are all ways and modes of attaining serenity.
“What Next?” might not have been replied to any extent but thinking on above opinions of spiritualism and observer, I do have the reply to “What Immediate Next?”
Monday, August 17, 2009
5. What Next?
In the midst of timely-untimely, anticipated-unlikely and subtle-serious ups and downs, I can say my life has been lavish (in materialistic terms) over a period of last few years. Most of the times I did achieve what I craved for. By and large, I can quote – I have had all of it in almost all aspects.
Off-late, I have been feeling that I am getting detached with so many things I would yearn for earlier. I feel this kind of feeling is natural for a few reasons – I might have developed a momentary resistance; I might have experienced it so much that I don’t feel like sticking on to it anymore; I still am experiencing it so easily that I have lost the value of it; In theory I am prepared for staying without it but not in practicality.
Nevertheless, there have been a few jerks of aloofness which were neither intermittent not transitory but more of a lasting-for-a-while and regular. For instance, I would always love clubbing a lot but in last more than a year, I have hardly visited a couple of times and I accurately remember that I was not getting attached during those instances. Big deal (!!), as it’s really difficult - rather impossible for me to say just on the basis of analysis that how long this will last.
I don’t feel like reacting to all the situations that I would easily react earlier. I don’t feel like making a choice for all the petty stuff and spend time and energy after that. I love the state of being choiceless in most of the instances. I feel like accepting what is going around. I don’t see the end to this rat-race. I feel lost. I feel tired. I enjoy the state of being deprived. I simply strive to live life fully. Well, let me pinch my self and re-iterate that this is not an achievement as this doesn’t happen in its entirety. There are weak links that either go totally unnoticed or even if evident, I tend to stay with those.
As a common man, I would always dream of all those luxuries of life. Some of them achieved, some not. At this stage, I distinguish them into 3 categories – Out of reach, In-reach and In-between the first two. The things which are out of reach are like the grapes on the tree that hang at a height which is far more than mine. I simply eliminate thinking that they are sour. As a consequence, I feel stable and relaxed as I have taken that off my sight. The things which are In-reach are simply possessed and enjoyed as-is. The issue arises with the things In-between. I work hard to make some money to achieve and experience those. Lately, the In-between things have started getting into out of reach category which makes me feel happy and sort of, contented.
I don’t want to stop it here as there is something which is in-built and extremely dangerous. I want to maintain that standard of in-reach and soon-to-be in-reach stuff. I don’t wanna deteriorate myself and hence, a feeling of in-security always walks along. Although I am completely secured, the very thought of in-security haunts my mind more regularly than the feeling of the charm which is supposed to be experienced with all that I possess. Detachment goes for a toss.
Besides, as soon as I set a standard for myself and further scan through the reserved resources in my kitty, I feel like raising my standard. It starts getting far-fetched but I don’t realize it. I get into the vicious circle of hunger and thirst. Someday, I realize that upgrading my vehicle every 2 years is a good thing to do but the very next day of upgrading it fetches the same feeling of the earlier one, detachment makes a silent entry. I start feeling that this is the last vehicle I am upgrading. The benefits are really not reaped as they are supposed to be. Now very hardly pinching myself – This is not gonna last long and therefore, it’s not an achievement.
Supposedly, let me think what if this objectivity goes a little long way (and this happens too), with all my efforts and willingness. If I get disconnected with this world, where do I want myself to get connected? What do I need to do for that connection? What will that connection result in? What am I really looking for? Am I looking for a contentment which is never ending? Am I wishing for something which hardly anyone around me is wishing for? Am I looking for an experience of a life that I have never lived and am craving to live that experience forever? These and many other variants of these inquiries haunt my mind all day along.
At the end of such a thoughtful day, I really get so much tired that I just want to sleep and as soon as I recline on my bed, sleep vanishes because the thoughtful day might have come to an end in my perception, but not the thoughts. A day long hunt for happiness still appears as a hunt and now, before shutting my eyes, I want happiness in some form – be it physical, mental, physical followed by mental, emotional. Post experiencing this happiness, I feel that I am contended and can now sleep well, wake up fresh and get ready for a new day which will certainly be full of eternal bliss.
Isn’t it silly that I pass through the same phase each night not fearing that any night could be my last one?
What next? – is still a question.
Off-late, I have been feeling that I am getting detached with so many things I would yearn for earlier. I feel this kind of feeling is natural for a few reasons – I might have developed a momentary resistance; I might have experienced it so much that I don’t feel like sticking on to it anymore; I still am experiencing it so easily that I have lost the value of it; In theory I am prepared for staying without it but not in practicality.
Nevertheless, there have been a few jerks of aloofness which were neither intermittent not transitory but more of a lasting-for-a-while and regular. For instance, I would always love clubbing a lot but in last more than a year, I have hardly visited a couple of times and I accurately remember that I was not getting attached during those instances. Big deal (!!), as it’s really difficult - rather impossible for me to say just on the basis of analysis that how long this will last.
I don’t feel like reacting to all the situations that I would easily react earlier. I don’t feel like making a choice for all the petty stuff and spend time and energy after that. I love the state of being choiceless in most of the instances. I feel like accepting what is going around. I don’t see the end to this rat-race. I feel lost. I feel tired. I enjoy the state of being deprived. I simply strive to live life fully. Well, let me pinch my self and re-iterate that this is not an achievement as this doesn’t happen in its entirety. There are weak links that either go totally unnoticed or even if evident, I tend to stay with those.
As a common man, I would always dream of all those luxuries of life. Some of them achieved, some not. At this stage, I distinguish them into 3 categories – Out of reach, In-reach and In-between the first two. The things which are out of reach are like the grapes on the tree that hang at a height which is far more than mine. I simply eliminate thinking that they are sour. As a consequence, I feel stable and relaxed as I have taken that off my sight. The things which are In-reach are simply possessed and enjoyed as-is. The issue arises with the things In-between. I work hard to make some money to achieve and experience those. Lately, the In-between things have started getting into out of reach category which makes me feel happy and sort of, contented.
I don’t want to stop it here as there is something which is in-built and extremely dangerous. I want to maintain that standard of in-reach and soon-to-be in-reach stuff. I don’t wanna deteriorate myself and hence, a feeling of in-security always walks along. Although I am completely secured, the very thought of in-security haunts my mind more regularly than the feeling of the charm which is supposed to be experienced with all that I possess. Detachment goes for a toss.
Besides, as soon as I set a standard for myself and further scan through the reserved resources in my kitty, I feel like raising my standard. It starts getting far-fetched but I don’t realize it. I get into the vicious circle of hunger and thirst. Someday, I realize that upgrading my vehicle every 2 years is a good thing to do but the very next day of upgrading it fetches the same feeling of the earlier one, detachment makes a silent entry. I start feeling that this is the last vehicle I am upgrading. The benefits are really not reaped as they are supposed to be. Now very hardly pinching myself – This is not gonna last long and therefore, it’s not an achievement.
Supposedly, let me think what if this objectivity goes a little long way (and this happens too), with all my efforts and willingness. If I get disconnected with this world, where do I want myself to get connected? What do I need to do for that connection? What will that connection result in? What am I really looking for? Am I looking for a contentment which is never ending? Am I wishing for something which hardly anyone around me is wishing for? Am I looking for an experience of a life that I have never lived and am craving to live that experience forever? These and many other variants of these inquiries haunt my mind all day along.
At the end of such a thoughtful day, I really get so much tired that I just want to sleep and as soon as I recline on my bed, sleep vanishes because the thoughtful day might have come to an end in my perception, but not the thoughts. A day long hunt for happiness still appears as a hunt and now, before shutting my eyes, I want happiness in some form – be it physical, mental, physical followed by mental, emotional. Post experiencing this happiness, I feel that I am contended and can now sleep well, wake up fresh and get ready for a new day which will certainly be full of eternal bliss.
Isn’t it silly that I pass through the same phase each night not fearing that any night could be my last one?
What next? – is still a question.
4. In this world...
In this (material) world...
Nothing is ever better than bad
Happiness is being relatively less sad
Still I wait for being completely happy
Can I be called, anything else than mad?
Nothing is ever better than bad
Happiness is being relatively less sad
Still I wait for being completely happy
Can I be called, anything else than mad?
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
3. Move on...
The wheel of time moves on with its regular speed.
Neither it decelerates nor does it stop.
Neither is goes backward nor does it hop.
There are so many things and incidents in life that either brings me to a standstill or makes me fly in near or distant future. Why does that happen? If it does happen, does it really help? Is getting stuck always necessary?
Can I not plan and determine to move on? Rather, can I not start moving on? Is it mandatory to cling on the past and stay there for a while without realizing the significance of the present moment?
“Move on” (and that too constantly with time) is the key. Something happens – Feel it, forget it and move on.
Be it a task, act and move on…
Be it a mistake, rectify and move on…
Be it a risk, mitigate and move on…
Be it a choice, make and move on…
Be it an idea, implement and move on…
Be it a race, run and move on…
Be it a path, walk and move on…
Be it an experience, feel and move on…
Be it a relevant thought, work on it and move on…
Be it an irrelevant thought, move on…
The posting ends here, time to move on to the next one :)
Neither it decelerates nor does it stop.
Neither is goes backward nor does it hop.
There are so many things and incidents in life that either brings me to a standstill or makes me fly in near or distant future. Why does that happen? If it does happen, does it really help? Is getting stuck always necessary?
Can I not plan and determine to move on? Rather, can I not start moving on? Is it mandatory to cling on the past and stay there for a while without realizing the significance of the present moment?
“Move on” (and that too constantly with time) is the key. Something happens – Feel it, forget it and move on.
Be it a task, act and move on…
Be it a mistake, rectify and move on…
Be it a risk, mitigate and move on…
Be it a choice, make and move on…
Be it an idea, implement and move on…
Be it a race, run and move on…
Be it a path, walk and move on…
Be it an experience, feel and move on…
Be it a relevant thought, work on it and move on…
Be it an irrelevant thought, move on…
The posting ends here, time to move on to the next one :)
Monday, August 10, 2009
2. What am I waiting for?
In each moment, there is life and more
Go ahead and live it fully therefore
Smile, be happy and add to the score
Remember, there is infinite in the store
What am I waiting for? What am I waiting for?
All that comes along do accept and adore
Always have positive thoughts in the fore
Negative if appear kick’em off the backdoor
Think big, act bigger, target for a crore (slang for 10 million)
Think big, act bigger, target for the core
What am I waiting for? What am I waiting for?
Inside the ocean, there is a lot to explore
Don’t spend time wandering on the shore
Use to the fullest, body mind and the lore
Live a life that doesn’t turn out to be a bore
What am I waiting for? What am I waiting for?
Go ahead and live it fully therefore
Smile, be happy and add to the score
Remember, there is infinite in the store
What am I waiting for? What am I waiting for?
All that comes along do accept and adore
Always have positive thoughts in the fore
Negative if appear kick’em off the backdoor
Think big, act bigger, target for a crore (slang for 10 million)
Think big, act bigger, target for the core
What am I waiting for? What am I waiting for?
Inside the ocean, there is a lot to explore
Don’t spend time wandering on the shore
Use to the fullest, body mind and the lore
Live a life that doesn’t turn out to be a bore
What am I waiting for? What am I waiting for?
1. Happiness.
Happiness is not absolute, it’s relative. This clichéd statement has been heard by me a lot of times. I do comprehend this but fail to realize it the way it should be realized.
How can “waiting for some one for hours under the scorching sun” generate happiness? On the contrary, how can “traveling in a luxury car on a scenic route towards a dream destination” not generate happiness?
Happiness is something which can be felt. Can I keep on waiting for the happiness to be generated and then feel it? By the time it gets completely generated, it’s all over; craving for next happiness initiates subtly.
In one of my earlier posts, I have written about asking a few people “When will you be happy?” In my opinion, the theory answer to this should be – I am happy now.
To add some practicality, I would like to go ahead and do 13-point check with myself.
1) Am I really happy now, where “now” is the very moment?
2) Am I confident that I have the potential to stay happy for ever?
3) Do I believe that no one can grant me happiness?
4) Do I feel that no one can snatch away my happiness?
5) Do I think that in the process of generating happiness, I do come across a lot of hassles and sad phases?
6) All that I crave, is it really required?
7) If all that I crave is required, is it required for my need or to boast myself?
8) Have I imbibed a feeling that if I look happy amongst others, I am better off and that is the real happiness?
9) Do I ever get a thought that making others happy is above all the happiness in this world?
10) Can I be happy enjoying oneness with self?
11) Can I stay happy with minimal requirements related to food, clothing and shelter?
12) Do all the worldly pleasures generating happiness makes me feel content always?
13) Shall I become happy and complete, once I have the feeling of an unending contentment?
Happiness is absolutely relative and irrespective of the answers to the above points, it is.
How can “waiting for some one for hours under the scorching sun” generate happiness? On the contrary, how can “traveling in a luxury car on a scenic route towards a dream destination” not generate happiness?
Happiness is something which can be felt. Can I keep on waiting for the happiness to be generated and then feel it? By the time it gets completely generated, it’s all over; craving for next happiness initiates subtly.
In one of my earlier posts, I have written about asking a few people “When will you be happy?” In my opinion, the theory answer to this should be – I am happy now.
To add some practicality, I would like to go ahead and do 13-point check with myself.
1) Am I really happy now, where “now” is the very moment?
2) Am I confident that I have the potential to stay happy for ever?
3) Do I believe that no one can grant me happiness?
4) Do I feel that no one can snatch away my happiness?
5) Do I think that in the process of generating happiness, I do come across a lot of hassles and sad phases?
6) All that I crave, is it really required?
7) If all that I crave is required, is it required for my need or to boast myself?
8) Have I imbibed a feeling that if I look happy amongst others, I am better off and that is the real happiness?
9) Do I ever get a thought that making others happy is above all the happiness in this world?
10) Can I be happy enjoying oneness with self?
11) Can I stay happy with minimal requirements related to food, clothing and shelter?
12) Do all the worldly pleasures generating happiness makes me feel content always?
13) Shall I become happy and complete, once I have the feeling of an unending contentment?
Happiness is absolutely relative and irrespective of the answers to the above points, it is.
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