On this third day of Paryushan, I want to remind myself of something that appears extremely simple, yet is perhaps one of the easiest things to lose sight of.
The purpose of Tap is not merely to make the body endure discomfort.
The purpose is not the fasting.
The purpose is not the discipline.
The purpose is not the ritual.
The purpose is not even the austerity itself.
The purpose is what all of these are meant to facilitate within.
To heat water, one has to heat the vessel.
If I consider the body to be the vessel and the karmic bondage to be associated with the soul, then Tap becomes the process through which I deliberately put the vessel through discipline so that the deeper work of shedding karma can take place.
But there is a danger in this analogy.
I can become so fascinated by heating the vessel that I forget why I started heating it in the first place.
I can become attached to the fasting instead of becoming detached through fasting.
I can become proud of the austerity instead of becoming humble through it.
I can start seeking appreciation, recognition, maan, praise, validation or admiration.
And then I have to stop and ask myself:
What exactly am I accomplishing?
If the body is being disciplined but the ego is being nourished, have I really understood Tap?
If everyone around me notices my austerity but I fail to notice my own anger, attachment, pride, greed, reactions and subtle expectations, then what have I actually observed?
The external process may be correct.
But the internal direction may have quietly changed.
That is the vigilance I need.
THE SEARCH
For more than a decade, I was searching for someone who had truly understood, someone who had attained something profound and yet remained deeply grounded.
At times, the search was almost desperate.
Then something changed.
I realised that I was searching outside for something whose real verification had to happen inside.
Yes, finding an accomplished and grounded person can be immensely valuable.
But if I become excessively occupied with identifying the "right" person, examining everyone's behaviour, judging their character and searching for visible signs of attainment, I may completely miss the path itself.
The enlightened ones have already shown the path.
The path is ONE.
My responsibility is to walk.
I need the discernment to recognise authentic guidance, certainly. But once I recognise it, I cannot spend my entire life standing at the railway station analysing which train looks most perfect.
I have to get on the train.
I have to walk.
I have to practise.
I have to observe.
I have to transform.
And perhaps, as the old saying goes:
When the student is ready, the master appears.
Mare maari paatrata par kaam karta rehvaanu chhe.
Nimit pratyaksh male ke paroksh, nimit malshe j.
My work is to keep becoming eligible.
THE VEHICLE AND THE DRIVER
Another reminder to myself:
I must not confuse decorating the vehicle with reaching the destination.
The body matters.
The mind matters.
Discipline matters.
Ritual matters.
Tap matters.
But they are the vehicle.
I have to remember where the driver is supposed to go.
If I spend all my energy polishing the vehicle while forgetting the destination, I have missed the entire journey.
The body can become extremely disciplined while the consciousness remains undisciplined.
The tongue can remain silent while the mind continues arguing.
The body can fast while the ego feasts.
The hands can perform rituals while the inner self continues reacting.
That is why the real Tap has to eventually become an inner Tap.
THE REAL PRACTICE
So during these eight days of Paryushan, I want to treat every situation as an opportunity for practice.
Not merely the situations that are comfortable.
Especially the ones that are not.
If karma presents me with something unpleasant, let me observe.
If someone praises me, let me observe.
If someone criticises me, let me observe.
If something happens according to my expectations, let me observe.
If something happens completely against them, let me observe.
If maan arises, observe.
If lobh arises, observe.
If anger arises, observe.
If attachment arises, observe.
If the desire to prove myself arises, observe.
If the desire to be recognised as spiritual arises, observe that too.
Nothing should escape observation.
The situation is not necessarily the problem.
My reaction to the situation is where I need to look.
LISTEN. GAUGE. OBSERVE.
A constant reminder to myself:
Listen.
Do not immediately react.
Gauge.
What is actually happening within me?
Observe.
What is arising?
What is triggering it?
What am I expecting?
What am I protecting?
What am I trying to prove?
What is seeking recognition?
What is afraid?
What is attached?
And then:
Do not react.
Peacefully acknowledge.
Pause.
Observe.
And then respond.
Not because I have suppressed the reaction.
But because I have seen it clearly enough to not become its slave.
That distinction matters.
THE EIGHT DAYS
These eight days are not merely eight days of rituals.
They are eight days of training.
Training attention.
Training awareness.
Training restraint.
Training the ability to witness without immediately becoming entangled.
Training myself to see the difference between what happens and what I make of what happens.
Training myself to remain steady when circumstances try to pull me away from my centre.
I do not want Paryushan to become another beautiful spiritual experience that I remember fondly after eight days.
I want it to leave behind a stronger capacity for awareness.
A stronger capacity to witness.
A stronger capacity to pause.
A stronger capacity to respond consciously.
A stronger capacity to recognise myself before I get lost in myself.
COME WHAT MAY
So, come what may.
Let karma offer whatever it has to offer.
Let circumstances change.
Let people behave differently from what I expect.
Let appreciation come.
Let criticism come.
Let success come.
Let failure come.
Let comfort come.
Let discomfort come.
My work remains the same.
Stay aware.
Stay watchful.
Stay grounded.
Stay as the witness.
Do not fumble the journey because the road became difficult.
Do not lose the destination because the vehicle became uncomfortable.
Do not mistake the process for the purpose.
Do not mistake recognition for transformation.
Do not mistake austerity for attainment.
And above all:
Do not allow the ego to quietly take ownership of the very practice that was meant to dissolve it.
Tap is a means.
Awareness is the practice.
Nirjara is the deeper purpose.
Liberation is the destination.
And my job, today, is very simple:
Keep walking.
One observation at a time.
One reaction consciously avoided at a time.
One attachment recognised at a time.
One layer of ignorance seen through at a time.
No drama.
No hurry.
No performance.
Just sincere, relentless vigilance.
Listen. Gauge. Observe. Acknowledge. Respond.
And keep walking.
No comments:
Post a Comment