7. Am I Responsible?

It was condemned as the most barbaric incident ever. Terrorism just became more terrifying. Mortal Combat was happening on the streets. The difference was – Only one side was equipped with arms while the other was simply empty handed and that was the common man. Needless to say, I am speechlessly talking about the catastrophic terror which struck Mumbai, the maximum city of the world on the 26th of November 2008.

Sixty odd hours, ten odd suicidal men and investment of less than half a million dollars resulted in a loss of few hundred invaluable lives and millions of dollars worth of infrastructure and assets. Additionally, hundreds were left permanently injured and thousands mourning for those family members who will only be in their minds and hearts for the rest of life.

The after-effects were all the more atrocious. Be it statements from our beloved politicians, be it the irresponsibility shown by the head representatives of our nation, be it the opposition blaming the ruling party or be it the common man protesting against the administration.

The last one might sound awkward though I feel it’s apt. A protest resulting in nothing won’t help. Forgetting this unforgettable incident will take no time. The blame-game will continue forever. Everything will be normal soon (I should say – it’s almost normal for most of us now). The cityite will be honored and praised with highly motivating lines. “Come what may, the spirit of Mumbai is always alive” – would be a diplomatic statement spread all around by media and the so-called rulers of the nation.

What the heck! In such a dreadful financial situation, I cannot afford to lose job. What will I do sitting home? Jeopardy is the part of life. I can’t just wait for everything to get completely stabilized, especially with the constant embedded fear of some one else taking my job and snatching away my bread (and butter for a few and jam for a very few).

Coming back to protest, I feel I should understand the responsibility now. Sacking a couple of ministers (whom I have elected) won’t make sense. They will be replaced by their brothers from another mother and a brother of thief could be a bigger thief. I just cannot get down on streets, object, shut down the work, grumble about the situation for a few days and sleep till another incident happens.

This is the time to get well-versed with the public administration. Do I know that I can file a PIL (Public Interest Litigation - http://59.92.116.99/eldoc1/b40b/01dec07lnv1.pdf) against the government? Do I know I have right to information (RTI - http://persmin.nic.in/RTI/welcomerti.htm)? Do I know I can cast a vote against NOBODY (“49-O” - http://lawmin.nic.in/ld/subord/cer1.htm)? Do I know that there is an open door policy for contacting the corporator, the local MLA (Member of Legislative Assembly) and the MP (Member of Parliament)?

When it comes to all this, I always end up saying – I don’t have time, this is not my cup of tea, who will fall into this pit, if at all I plan to take action who will support me, in doing so, I will end up getting trapped and blah blah. The truth is - Neither I wanna invest my time nor energy since everything is smooth in my life till date. Even if something turns haphazard, I will find my ways to smoothen it but certainly not get into something which I believe is a bigger mess. A few days of grousing will soothe everything. This is the way I am fabricated to live.

I want to condition myself to believe just one thing – If I don’t take the responsibility, I better not moan about it. Either I take the charge or tolerate the things. There ain’t any third path.

PS: Writing such articles also makes no sense if this spark is not going to ignite the fire. It hardly takes any time to cool off the burning aspiration.

6. Ego - A Verse.

There is this 3 letter word, EGO
That doesn’t let me freely flow
Each time I feel like learning
Dear EGO says, I know, I know

It doesn’t allow me to Bow
Neither does it let me grow
It always makes me stop
Whenever I want to go

Should I blame EGO or no?
Am I not the one, who did sow?
I am not ego but Ego is mine
This is something I did follow

But the reality is written below
I am ego and that’s the blow
If I experience this, there is a scope
To turn it off or at least make it low

PS:

Though reality (I am EGO) is not the ultimate truth, it’s realizing that I have always felt within that “I am EGO” but always pretended that EGO is mine and hence have always ignored thinking it as a 3rd party. This realization ultimately might lead to analyzing that I am not EGO but something else, which is a mystery for me as I am incomplete and so cannot comment further.

Last but not least, Thank you so much Suchit for your apt inputs, although haven't yet framed all of them.

5. Small Stuff.

While putting on my contact lenses last evening, I realized that the one I put in the right eye was giving some itching sensation. I pulled it off, rinsed and put again. Again, the same sensation. This was due to a minute dust particle which was either on the lens or in the eye. I rinsed my eyes and lens a couple of times but this sensation would linger. Frustrated and Agitated, Finally I gave up and put spectacles.

The similar thing happened this morning. I had an itching sensation after the first insert; this time in the left eye. As I didn’t have much time, I planned to have breakfast with the itching feeling and decided to think about the lens post breakfast.

To my surprise, post breakfast, I didn’t have any such sensation. It had vanished. I started thinking, how come it just happened? The mind was diverted for a few minutes and all the pain caused by the small stuff was gone.

Doesn’t this happen in my day-to-day life? Aren’t there any such small glitches happening? Don’t I get such hiccups almost every day? What do I do?

I focus on it. The more I get involved, the more it loiters. If I give myself a break and just ignore it for a few minutes, I am sure it would go away even with me knowing about it.

“Don’t sweat the small stuff and it’s all a small stuff” says Richard Carlson very aptly. It’s a book worth implementing.

4. D- Day: Nov 14, 08.

Is there any vital decision to be made on this date? Any big deals gonna be signed? An uprising in the happening? Is the world undergoing any assessment?

Sorry, but nothing of that sort. What is this all about then? Puzzled? Read on…

In a couple of days from now, 3 bollywood movies of dissimilar genre are ready to hit the silver screen. The only similarity I see is all these one word movies are starting with the 4th English Alphabet, D. Hence, it’s gonna be a D day.

When it comes to hype and expectations, Dostana tops the chart. I am sure this flick would be quite a usual one with certainly a fresh look and a lot of catchy camera work and obviously Piggy Chops, who will serve as an eye candy once again after the recent Fashion. Of course, if at all I make it for this one; I will be entering with zero expectations. All the best to K Jo and Mansukhani for this venture.

The next on the chart is Dasvidaniya (which means Good Bye in Russian). Somehow, the promos seem to be quite unusual but I personally feel this would be a light romantic. The soothing part is the squad of class actors which will make me feel like watching it once but I shall prefer to try it out only if the box office verdict turns out to be pleasing. All the best to Azam Khan and Shashant Shan for this endeavor.

The third big (controversy has made it big) gun is Deshdrohi. An absolute naïve cast and crew, lack of avant-garde look & feel and junky music – All the above factors, surprisingly I feel, are not going to be an obstacle any more for this flick to click. These factors are overshadowed by the subject of the movie and the time of its release. I am looking forward for a DVD print to be released soon so that I can enjoy this flick at my private lounge aka my master bedroom. All the best to KRK and Jagdish Sharma for this gamble.

This is D, Oops Dilip signing off….

3. Diverse.

There are times when I think I need to diversify. It’s been long I have been doing the same thing. The ultimate aim is to make money; whether I diversify or not. This is what I would feel few years back. Now, I feel that although I need to make money, I don’t see it as an ultimate aim.

When I take pen & paper and start jotting down the things I want to do, the list is almost endless. Still, why do I take away my focus and start resuming what I have been doing since ages? Is it because I feel that the so called things are not going to earn me bread and butter? I don’t think so.

Analyzing further, I have a feel somewhere deep within that if I do something different than what the entire world is doing, what will be the repercussions? Will I be treated as a moron or an insane? Will people say that I am nuts to make such weird choices. Will my folks ask me to continue what I have been doing as that is the mere and correct path to success?

This is what others will think and say, which might eventually influence me and ultimately, I will tell my self – the world is not crazy to run after money. There will be some certain purpose behind the same. Also, if I don’t work at this phase of my life, I will become lethargic and gradually lose my senses. Besides, I will see my future in some asylum where in people will be busy with my rehabilitation.

To get rid off the feeling of diversifying, I will focus on the examples of those who have diversified and failed. On top of that, I will focus on the success examples in the typical world that have climbed the ladder of success with hardly any visible obstacles.

Can I not find any success stories in the areas I want to diversify? Can I not create one such story? A self epic of a person (me, myself) who dared to swim opposite the flow and attained success in the way he felt always. Memoirs of a MAXIMUM life.

2. Pain and Pleasure.

Before every Pleasure, there lies a Pain.
Hence people rightly say, No Pain, No Gain.

There are times when the Pain is full of Strain
While at times, it’s like a smooth terrain

Pain seems to be depressing if I use my brain
Heartily, Pleasure without pain is simply vain

I feel, Pain is a seed and Pleasure is the grain
In absence of Pain, value of joy doesn’t retain

Accepting the Pain ought to be the task main
Followed by enjoying the Pleasure again and again

Initially, I thought of replacing Enjoying with Accepting in the last line but then I kept as it is.

1. Introspect.

I possess a typical syndrome called “momentary influence”. Earlier, I have written about this. Why do I have this syndrome? This is something I don’t want to think about. Neither do I want to think of getting rid off the same.

What I want to focus on here is the word momentary. What If I look forward to eradicate the word momentary and make it read as permanent (without inserting the word). Can I live up that mere influence for a life time? Why do I swing even before answering this question?

There might not be a particular reply but this can generally be due to other thoughts popping up and showing off their importance in life. Ever since the time I started making my own choices, have I stuck to one single purpose that influenced me? Some might have a reply as YES and I truly salute them.

Before the passionate YES, I just want to raise a question. Had it been the case, would I not always be happy, content and satisfied (Come what may)? If I am, the salute stays.

What if I am not? Doesn’t that mean, something else keeps on influencing me at regular intervals?

What happens when I sit back and introspect this? Rather, in such situations, I do always feel like getting into the introspection stage. What do I actually do? I think about the influence and the further action to be taken. I start fabricating the do’s and don’ts for the future. What next? Is another influence ready to catch up my mind?

I feel - Introspection needs to be written down in length and then worked upon in such a way that the word momentary gets rid off in a moment.

4. Phir Subah Hogi (?).

Subah se lekar raat tak, chalna aur bhaagna
So jaana yah soch ke, ki phir Subah hogi

Agle din phir bhaagna, girna aur sambhalna
Wohi raftaar, wohi umeed, ki phir Subah hogi

Paiso ke peeche lagke, din bhar ka tadapna
Karna hai wo kal karege kyon ki phir Subah hogi

Is samay zaroori hai, dhan kamaana, kuch ban-na
Sukh to tab bhugtege jab kal phir Subah hogi

Doston aur Parivar ka to yahin hai thikaana
Khub nibhaayege rishtey jab phir Subah hogi

Aatmavishwas ki parakashta hai dil ko behlaana
Jivanbhar saare Jivan ki aas me kya phir Subah hogi?

3. Try or Die?

There are some things I’ll never try
But if I have to, will I prefer to die?

What if a mosquito is on a blood spree?
Will I end his life or offer my blood for free?

What if I am ill and need to consume meat?
Will I say no or bend the rule & accept defeat?

What if a poisonous snake is about to bite?
Will I think what’s wrong and what is right?

What if someone puts the gun on my head?
Will I miss an opportunity to see him dead?

These and other queries do hold me back
Reason being the determination that I lack

2. Patience (A 4-Liner).

Samay se pehle aur Naseeb se jyaada kuch nahi milta
Phir bhi sadaa chahiye mujhe, chutki bajate hi safalta
Mehnat karne se pehle, hai Fal prapti ki chanchalta
Vartmaan ko kho kar, sapno me hai mann machalta

1. Carry Forward.

Gone are the days when I would top-up my cell phone with some amount and validity since I intended to carry forward my old balance.

Post death, Can I carry forward anything I possess in this life time? Certainly not but let’s assume if I could carry forward all the things I wished, what would they be?

1) “My” Money
2) “My” Friends
3) “My” Yamaha
4) “My” Honda
5) Some of “My” clothes
6) “My” Ray-bans
7) Almost all of “My” wrist watches
8) Lots of Pav Bhajis and Dosas and all the cuisine “I” love to relish.
9) So many books
10) “My” hard disk
11) “My” intelligence
12) “My” attitude
13) A Mahindra Classic (which is not yet mine)
And… (That’s all I can think of at this point of time but I’m sure there will be many additions)

No, I don’t want to carry forward any of my girlfriends as I believe in moving on :) haha…

10. xG.

Telecommunications have evolved over generations and every major revolution gets labeled as a new (or next) generation. Today, the world talks about 3G and 4G (where G stands for Generation). What happens with the ex-generations and the related features? Are they simply dumped or fairly used?

Post-independence (1947), this is 3rd human generation (3G) and 4G is in the making; considering 40s as 1G, 60s as 2G, 80s as 3G and the millennium ones as 4G. I see an immense generation gap between me (3G) and 4G; although the 4G has not yet completely developed.

As a so-called matured 3G piece, I feel I am pretty much ahead of the 2G features in all aspects; brains, emotions (rather emotion-control), attitude, approach, etc. I call these as multimedia applications. This makes me feel away from the basic features which are common over all the generations; I mean the basic voice and text features as in face2face conversations and writing letters for expressing the feelings.

With a heavy concentration on multimedia applications; I have nearly forgotten the basic application which any human is meant for. Although I witness the gap between 2G and 3G, I somehow intend to overlook it by taking things for granted.

What is the consequence? Do I care? When is the right time to realize? What if I realize when the time has already passed? Am I ready to bridge the gap or am I happy with the invisible but evident wall?

I believe, bridging the gap will result in maximum utilization of all the generations and it will also make me ready to accept the 4G with respect to technology and features. The best communication device on this planet shouldn’t go under-utilized, right?

PS: Concept concieved by my dear buddy Hemal.

9. Where?

Where is the home, I would love to stay?
Where is the temple, I would love to pray?
Where is the line, I would love to say?
Where is the tune, I would love to play?

Where is the floor on which I would love to lay?
Where is the food to put on a tray?
Where are the shades other than gray?
Where are the nights that seem like a day?

8. The Jerk...

"The Jerk who saw happiness in ‘his’ Honda City".
(This is the actual title of this blog)

A few months back I was browsing a book where in a high profile millionaire sells his super luxury sedan, which he feels is his best possession in life. Thereafter, he starts his hunt towards the purpose of life.

Post reading this influential book, I started thinking about my possessions and happiness behind possessing them. Can I part with my possessions and still be happy? – was the question I asked myself.

The first thing that came into my mind was my luxury sedan – Honda City. What if I sell it (just for the heck of it)? And what if I have to sell it (due to some catastrophe)? Is there a difference?

In a way, Yes. There is a difference. If I sell it just for the heck of it, I’ll still be happy as it was an intended decision. What after a few days of selling it, though? Will I still be happy with my decision? Does that happiness lie in Honda City?

I don’t want to write anything further but just want to analyze this, feel and conclude something which will quench my thirst. Till then, I (as a Jerk) will enjoy driving my Honda happily. I know it’s an irony that in spite of being happy, my thirst is still unquenched.

7. Hunger.

Sometimes 1 question makes me wonder
Why do I have so much of hunger?

hunger for name, hunger for fame
hunger to win each and every game

hunger for sex like a forest fire
hunger to fulfill each burning desire

hunger for food and all that taste
hunger to turn every edible into waste

hunger for fragrance that turns me pink
hunger to kill my sweats that stink

hunger for witnessing beauty and splendor
hunger to get rid of stuff which is horror

hunger for listening soothing music around
hunger to avoid what I feel is a bad sound

altering the question that made me wonder
doesn’t really make me feel better
still I would go ahead and ask my self
To put an end to all hungers; is there a hunger?

6. Khayal.

khayalon ka bhi ek jahaan hai
is pal yahin hai, phir wahaan hai
kabhi chalte khud ke saath hai
to kabhi saath me karvaan hai

khubsurat sa apna aashiyan hai
jisme saari aadhunik suvidha hai
peeche choti si ek nadiya hai
aur aage pyari si bagiya hai

ghumne ke liye saari duniya hai
ek jahaaz, darzan gaadiyan hai
aish hi aish chal rahi hai kyonki
koi poochne waala kahaan hai

saari kalaon me hum khaan hai
har taraf apni waah waah hai
apni hasti hi kuch aisi hai
hum mehmaan aur jag mezbaan hai

hum chahe to din me chandrama hai
apne ek ishaare pe badle sama hai
chahe ho swarg kitna bhi dur par
hum soche aur bas, wo yahaan hai

arre bhai, ye sab to ek kalpana hai
khayaalon se khush hoke lautna hai
phir apne jeevan me vyast hoke
wahi ghar,kaam aur wahi khaana hai

kya in khayalon pe sirf hasna hai?
kya is bhanwar me keval fasna hai?
ek aur khayal gaur karne layak hai
kshanik, har dukh aur khushiyan hai

5. A Wednesday.

One helluva thrilling ride is ‘A Wednesday’. Whilst too many people think out of the box, not all click. Many of those fall under the ‘wicked’ category. This one is poles apart.

In recent times, I haven’t witnessed such a brilliant combination of pen (script) and cam (cinematography / direction). Pandey believes in serious business which is palpable. Khan does a great work by his radiant camera moves. He has captured the world’s best city in his own spectacular style.

On screen, each character has justified the role offered. Needless to say, Shah outshines everyone. He effortlessly gets into the character. Kher has delivered an immaculate performance too. Although there is just a 30 second F2F scene between Shah and Kher, their chemistry in entire movie (through voice) is simply startling. Shergill does a good work. Thanks to Action master Shyam Kaushal for the same. Bashir excels too. Saxena, Dhabi, Shaw and Pandit give apt justice to their character.

All in all, a technically sound 105 minute songless edge-of-the-seat flick ‘A Wednesday’ is a must watch.

My Verdict – 8.5/10.

4. The Third Law.

Formally stated, Newton's third law of motion goes this way – “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

The statement means that in every interaction, there is a pair of forces acting on the two interacting objects. The size of the forces on the first object equals the size of the force on the second object. The direction of the force on the first object is opposite to the direction of the force on the second object. Forces always come in pairs - equal and opposite action-reaction force pairs.

In conjunction to the above, I would like to express my sincere gratitude towards Newton for giving such a wonderful lesson in life. How? Let me dig.

What do I presume, rather expect, when I put some efforts to achieve something? All the efforts (action) should result in desired fruits (reaction). Does this always happen? If yes, amazing. If no, why? Were the efforts insufficient?

Is it possible that two people simultaneously put same efforts but get different results? I say yes. I am sure most of the readers will agree.

What is the theory behind this? Is it that the very action (effort) is considered? Umm, May be or probably some things are destined. How does destiny work and why it works differently with each one? Is destiny also a part of some action done in past?

How past is this past? May be - Something before birth. Nopes, I don’t believe this. Of course, how can I believe mysteries? Rather, why should I believe the unknown? It doesn’t mean that the things which are unknown don’t exist. True, but for that matter it doesn’t even mean that they exist too. What is the evidence?

Why does some vehicle come and accidently bang my car? Probably, there is this careless driver but then why my vehicle only? What does an accident mean? May be, something unplanned, unanticipated, uncertain. Why do such uncertainties prevail?

In spite of taking same steps daily, some day, why do I fall down? Why does the stone from no where come and hit me? Why do I not win a lottery? Many a times, why does destiny override the talent?

Despite thinking positive about someone, why does that person fail to understand me? On the contrary, why does some one get fooled by my negative qualities? If I hit some one and he doesn’t hit me back till I die, when will he hit me? If I kill 1 person in life and I am hanged till death by the court judgment, that’s fair enough. What if I kill 10 people? When will my 9 balance hangings crop up?

Why do some things happen to me? Why do some things not happen to me? How come I am so famous regardless of doing anything great? What and when was my action in inheriting heaps of luxuries from my parents?

How do I tally the balance sheet of my life?

What will happen to my current actions? If I die all of a sudden, will I get the fruits related to my efforts? Will my actions come back to me as equal and opposite reactions?

3. Teacher's Day.

On the auspicious occasion of teacher’s day today, I feel like expressing my gratitude by bowing all the great masters of the world.

I salute all those who have taught me a lot of things in my life. With this thought, I feel like bowing each and every one who is part of my life by any means (face2face talks, text conversations, voice dialogues, reading, writing, inner voices, fiction, non-fiction and more)

I realize that I have learnt something from each person in my life. “What” and “What not” – Everything is a learning. :)

PS: Suchit’s inspiration has made me write this blog.

2. Seeking Forgiveness 08.

Today is the day which comes once in a year according to Jainism tradition. This is the day when one seeks forgiveness for any damage done during the entire year.

Is the damage done every year with every one I come in touch with? Or does it happens only with some? If with some, does it happen occasionally, regularly, frequently or daily? Is the damage redundant? Does the same type of damage happen again and again? If so, why? Do I always possess a feeling at the subconscious level that – Let the damage happen; I will seek forgiveness at the end of year. Anyhow, I have to seek forgiveness as it is a part of tradition and looks good too as all follow the same. Is this the thought process?

What happens after seeking forgiveness? Do I feel light and cheerful? Why so? Is it because I get my license renewed? Is there an end to all this? Will there be a year at the end of which there won’t be any need to seek forgiveness from anyone? Forget year, will there be such a month, a week, a day, an hour, a minute or a second?

One of the great maxims to ask for forgiveness with the unity of the body, speech and mind:
KHAAMEMI SAVVE JEEVA (I grant forgiveness to all living beings)
SAVVE JEEVA KHAMANTU ME (May all living beings grant me forgiveness)
METTI ME SAVVE BHUYESU (My friendship is with all living beings)
VAIRAM MAJHAM NA KENAI (My enmity is totally non-existent)

To start with, I grant forgiveness to all living beings. Hey, am I eligible to forgive anyone? Am I just a fault-finder? Am I not responsible for anything and everything that happens in my life? Am I not eating the food which I have cooked (although some one else might be serving)? Am I such a naïve to blame the one who just serves me?

If something occurs due to a natural calamity, I blame God. If I am hurt by any artificial calamity, I blame Government, Society, Family, Friends and whosoever I can think of. All ‘good’ things (things fulfilling my expectations are ‘good’) are done by me and all the evil (opposite of good) phases are either destined or blamed on some one. Is this a fair perception?

I seek forgiveness with all my friends, relatives, near-dear ones with a broad smile on my face. What about those whom I have been really wicked with? Am I gonna call them and build a bridge or let the wall remain?

Nonetheless, this process will go on and on but now it’s time to follow the tradition. I seek forgiveness for any damage I may have done, whether by my actions, speech or by my thoughts that hurt you in any way. Please forgive me for my incompleteness.

1. Garbage Truck.

Here is a forward mail. The reader may wonder, why have I put the forward email in this blog when I have a seperate blog for the same. Please read on, it's self explanatory. :)

The Law of Garbage Truck.

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly. So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!"

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call "The Law of the Garbage Truck." He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.

Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the street. The bottom line is that successful people don't let garbage trucks take over their day.

After receiving the above mail from Suchit, I had commented -
"Great learning for jerks (read ‘Dilip’)"

In reply to this,

Suchit wrote -
What u feel is a jerk,
Cud also be a perk,
And in the future of studs,
A young dynamic turk.

Dilip wrote –
Today he is nothing more than a jerk…
Only does philosophical tark-vitark…
Paryushan come and go, still no fark..
All day dreaming about money and merc ☺

Suchit wrote –
Who knows this is a step ahead,
On the road commoners fear to tread,
Ur level is at a higher plane,
Than of those thinking of just butter and bread….

Dilip wrote -
Higher – Lower is a perception
What about the right direction?
If Life ends wandering here and there
You or me, it’s all the same conclusion.

6. Insight.

One of my pals asked me “When are you planning to retire?” Pretending to be in a hurry I told him “Catch you sometime later and discuss the retirement stuff”.

On my way, typically I asked myself – “What is retirement and why does everyone seek it?”

The very self-feedback was – Of course, to sit back, relax and have a good time doing either what I want to do or simply nothing.

What would be the ideal age then? Probably, the age when I will be simply good for nothing for my friends, family, society, nation, etc. Isn’t it? This almost compliments the self-feedback above. Have I overlooked a striking point though? What about doing what I want to do rather doing what I love to do? When will I do it? How will I be able to do it at that age?

Nothing atypical about this insight which almost always ends with one word questions like What? How? When? Why? Also, It’s easy to digress from questions where the replies seem to be more chaotic or fussy.

Can I not think of restructuring the emblematic insight? Can I not feel – Retirement is here and now. Sound weird, huh!

Of course, it has to sound weird as ‘restructuring’ is more than a word. I got to think laterally. I got to think out of the box. Well, just think? Not really.

I got to pen down the to-do and to-be list and just start living it up. Pretty theoretical! Yea, I know!! In the world of here and now, theory and practical are synonymous. This is the moment where I can do and the restructuring is “I am doing”. Besides this, there is nothing in my control. If I fall, the activity of falling has happened. Uncharacteristic implementation here would be to rise this moment and resume.

I unlocked the door, picked up the phone, called my friend and left a voicemail - “I am retired” and hung up the phone.

5. School.

Another year has passed by and one more Paryushan have arrived. Sometimes I think, are Paryushan synonymous to the Final exams or are they the beginning of the next step towards the ultimate purpose of life? What about those like me who neither have any purpose of life nor do treat Paryushan as a Final Exam.

Well, on another note, I feel Paryushan days are just like a pre-admission talk sessions where in a bunch of saints and dignitaries feed us with the concepts of religion and the ultimate goal/purpose/lakshya of life. More or less, the focus is on Moksha (Salvation) which is the destination and before that Self-Realization which is the highest milestone achieved in this birth as per Jainism nitty-gritty.

Some like to attend these talks while some don’t. Some do force themselves and attend while some where the external forces work.

I do like to attend the talks (around 30 minutes per session) every year but have I really taken admission in the school? If I say, I have taken admission years back, have I progressed each year? What is the outcome if I just sit back and evaluate my progress in last few years (forget years back) or may be precisely 5 years (since 2003)?

What is the use of settling in the same class every year? Hello!! Am I abiding the same class at least? Or have I deteriorated? Hey, have I deviated?

Who is better off, if the above 3 questions have an affirmative reply?

PS: After reading the above, many will differ saying it’s the best time to charge the battery for the entire year or the real time to seek for forgiveness and more. What happens after 8/10/17/18 days for battery charging. Let me ask myself. What do I do after seeking forgiveness? Again, let me ask myself.

As mentioned in my blog Paryushan (September 2007), Paryusham is 8/10/18-days of religious "CELEBRATION" as per jainism.

4. Paryushan (A Verse).

Aa rahe hai parvadhiraaj paryushan
Karvaane apne bheetar ka pradarshan
Sahi Samay hai karne ka swa-parikshan
Saaf kartey hue karmo ka pradushan

In dino, hota hai khub, seva,pooja, darshan
Saath saath hotey hai alochan aur pravachan
Par uske baad phir wahi sansar ka gharshan
Wahi moh-maaya aur baahar ka aakarshan

Kyon na is baar kuch aisa kare nirikshan
Bhoot-bhavishya bhool, jiye vartmaan kshan
Is kshan se mehenga nahi, hai koi aabhushan
Is tarah ka de hum, apne aap ko shikshan
Jeevan ho santusht, kartey hue aatma-sparshan

3. Work and Luck.

I have so much work
And I don’t want so screw up
I will put all my efforts
But result will be on luck

This mentality will make me work
Only with efforts, not considering luck
If at all, I do screw up
I’ll not dwell on past, but again start up

2. Kya maine kabhi socha hai.

Kya maine kabhi socha hai.
Parinaam ka kya bharosa hai..
Sab kaam theek karne par bhi
Aakhir me hota kyon locha hai

Mere karne se hi sab hota hai
Ye to sab se bada dhoka hai
Karya ki safalta ka saara shrey mera
Asafalta mile, kismat ke naam rota hai

Ya phir sada auron ko kosa hai..
Apna jimma dusro pe thosa hai..
Sach ye hai, jo tha maine pakaya
Wohi mujhe gaya parosa hai

Fal waisa milega, jaisa beej bota hai
Par mann to moh maaya mein sota hai*
Poora saal debit karne ke baad…
3 ghante ki credit me saare paap dhota hai

<< In jainism, once in a year people sit for around 3 hours, remember their sins and seek forgiveness for the same>>

*This line was changed as per Suchit's apt suggestion.

1. Chahe...

Chahe ho jaao TV se koso dur
Par khud ke kareeb rehna zaroor

Chahe ho jaao Cinema se khafa
Par khud se karna sada wafa

Chahe duniya saari ho jaaye be-imaan
Par aap kabhi naa khonaa ye imaan

Chahe badle samay, badle zamaana
Bhool naa jaana, biwi se kiya vaada nibhaana

Chahe Bhool bhulaiya uljhaaye aapko
Thoda samay dena apne maa-baapko

Chahe mailbox me mail ho hazaar
Doston ke emails ko karna sweekar

4. Race (A Verse).

Some run slow, some run fast
Each one has a difference pace

A slow-down makes me turn blue
To be happy, I speed-up the chase

I always wait for that time when
I am supposed to get a salary raise

I get influenced by others and then
strive to build a so-called “own” grace

I crib about being oily and dark but
Black will be the smoke from my face

I long to sleep on a golden bed
Ultimately, I’ll sleep on wooden base

I don’t realize that wherever I go
All roads lead to the same place

Funeral home is the final point
which puts an end to the race

3. Choice.

Choice is what I simply choose to be, to do. That’s all.

Choice and Decision are 2 totally different things. Choice evolves from heart and the action starts. Decision may or may not evolve from heart but prior to action, there is an intermediate step of logical thinking and conclusion thereafter.

Choice is like – I want to do and I start doing it. No reasoning whatsoever. For instance, one fine day, I feel like going for wild life photography and I start my excursion immediately. This is a choice.

Drilling down, there are a lot of intermediate decisions like selecting the best jungle, the safest place, manipulating the risks involved. All this is logic. Of course, its worth if it doesn’t kill the passion; the choice persists.

Let’s categorize choice and decision

1. I choose because I will be benefited from it. – Decision.
2. I choose because I want it – Decision.
3. I choose because I like it – Decision.
4. I choose because I choose it – Close to choice but not choice.
5. I choose. (‘because’ is non-existent) – Choice.

...More to come… after some more logical analysis on Choice and Decision :)

2. Chalte Rehna.

Lakshya se hi shuru hota hai safar, Chalte rehna
Ho sakta hai, lage mushkil dagar, Chalte rehna
Mile na mile koi humsafar, Chalte rehna
Raah pe pair, aankhen manzil par, Chalte rehna

Gali, Gaav, Moholla, Sehar, Chalte rehna
Thak jaaye to do pal thehar, Chalte rehna
Tu kar sakta hai, tujhme hai hunar, Chalte rehna
Aisa waisa nahi hai tera Jigar, Chalte rehna

Chalna hai tera karm, na soch agar magar, Chalte rehna
Tujhe rokne waalo ko samajh kar kaayar, Chalte rehna
Ant me ek hi baat pe rakh kar nazar, Chalte rehna
Raah hai baahar, Manzil hai bheetar, Chalte rehna

KEEP WALKING...

1. Proud.

I always feel proud about some or the other thing. In fact, I feel proud about everything I feel I possess. The vague thing about this is there are things which if some one else possesses (considering he or she doesn’t possess), he or she may not feel proud about but I still do.

Moreover, there are instances where I am proud about a certain thing and if that comes to an end or may be the opposite of that thing become a part of my life; my proud feeling will still stay.

Confusing, huh!!

An example – If I am up by 6AM each day, I will carry a proud feeling of getting up early. After a while, my schedule changes and I starting getting up by 9AM, I will start feeling proud about it saying – I have a leisurely sleep each day.

Analyzing further, I see so many things (actually all the things) I am proud of, which are as follows

I am proud of being –
Practical
Punctual
Short-tempered
Particular
Smart
Dynamic
Impatient
A leader
Illogical at times and logical at times too
Fitness freak
Sporty
A great driver
Crazy
Sensible
Sensitive
Hearty
Nature lover
Humorous
Artistic
Mimic
Extrovert
Fun-filled
Dominating
Chauvinist
Casual

All these so-called adjectives are usually followed by a line at the conscious level. For instance, when I think of being punctual, it is followed by a remark – Dude, no one can be as punctual as I am. This remark is usually to the self but at times as a statement to others too.

I really feel proud in expressing my feeling and publishing it as a blog followed by circulating to my dear ones saying that look this is what I introspect and ultimately, I am proud of my introspections as well.

3. Philosophy.

I was having a dialogue on philosophy with one of my dear pal.

He remarked - Philosophy always is non-sense. Philosophers just move in a circle and reach nowhere and life ends just in fooling around. Only truth makes sense.

Whatever he said was absolutely making sense. Then I questioned myself – What is Philosophy? Is it really a non-sense? Am I just fooling around reading all such books? Am I simply creating a mess? Am I muddling my life?

“Only truth makes sense” – This thought flashed and diverted my mind from those umpteen questions coming up. Whatever is truth, can’t it be any kinda philosophy? And any kinda philosophy can’t be a truth? Can truth and philosophy ever be synonymous?

Philosophy may be a sheer non-sense until it lies in books. Once it becomes synonymous with the way of life, it might start making sense. Nonetheless, this is my Philosophy.

Précis, Philosophy is nothing but a standpoint.

2. NRI.

Disclaimer: The topic NRI (Not Returning to India) is by no means intended to hurt anyone.

“What is the average salary these days in India for a profile similar to us?” – This is a classic question from a bunch of my friends who “once in a while” think of returning back to India for good.
Instead of replying this question, I ask a counter question. ‘When are you targeting at returning back?”

Here come a classic reply again – “In a couple of years, may be”.

There are some other replies on similar lines. Here we go –

May be 2009/2010
Shall decide about this next year.
I have started thinking on this. Too early to say but shall soon come to a conclusion.
Probably, shall make some final decision while in India during my 2 week Xmas vacation.
As of now I think it should be good enough time to be back to India. Let’s see though.

After these gentle replies, I have a mixed feeling but still prefer to answer the initial question.
There is nothing like average salary concept here. It’s the number (amount) that is gonna bridge the gap between your expectations and company requirements. Further, the terms like “couple of years” and “2009/2010” (that too in conjunction with “may be”) makes the conclusion too early to anticipate. On top of that, the feeling sounds more like – “As of now” feeling. Hence, the chances of the change are pretty high. More or less, the change is synonymous with postponement here.

Also, once the permanent residency (may be GC, PR, etc) process initiates, it becomes all the more difficult. This is quite psychological. Hence, one either has a target date (exact date of return) or else just keeps playing around.

Of course, there is no harm in staying there for a while or may be for life but I feel that the vision should be crystal clear if one really intends to take any step in life. This may sound hypothetical.

There is an agreement on this, most of the times but with an asterisk mark saying conditions apply. Some do quote Newton’s law – “… in the absence of an unbalanced external force”.

I totally agree but doesn’t this happen at each and every stage of life? What if some one is thrown out and forced to come back to India? Will he be left with any choice? There are sometimes in life where I really can respect and enjoy my own choice. Come what may. I always feel like eradicating the "external unbalanced" stuff although I am not doing it completely.

It’s me who should drive my life. If I am not the one who does, what kinda ego I am carrying with me? THERE IS NO NEED OF AN EXTERNAL UNBALANCED FORCE TO DRIVE ANY OF MY CHOICES (please don’t read DECISIONS).

Concluding, I just wanna tell one thing. Trust me, from your perspective if you like it there, please go ahead and enjoy life there. It’s all about perception. I am the master of my life. This is the feeling that treasures me.

Hence, be a NRI all your life. NRI might be Now Returning to India, Next-year returning to India or Never Returning to India. It’s your take.

PS: This blog contains excerpt of dialogues between Jimit and me.

1. Sarkar Raj.

The Nagres are back and this time they aren’t alone. The only regret I have about Sarkar Raj is I witnessed it a bit too late. Nonetheless, this one is a high-profile political drama on the backdrop of a “power” project. It’s a magnificent piece of work by the man who is so very sure of what he is making (kindly unread Aag and Naach). If RGV is reading this, I need to tell this – “Please finish the trilogy”. The climax hints in that direction too but as RGV is quite unconventional on professional front, it’s hard to forecast.

The best part is without any kind of narration the drama gradually explains the link with the former part. The first half is pretty gripping. The plot-building activity is accomplished in a profound manner. Although the head-spinning close-up camera moves are at times a bit annoying, they append the intensity. The post-interval drama is more of a bloodbath. In an edge-of-the-seat thriller like this one, the thrill loses a bit when the spectator starts suspecting the usual and un-usual characters. Here, one gets no time to even think of suspecting anyone.

The casting is far-fetched. No words for AB & AB Jr. as Sr. and Jr. Nagre respectively. They simply excel. Particularly during the second half Sr. AB outshines as a rebellion. Excellent output delivered by new comer Rajesh Shringarpore as Sanjay Somji. Dilip Prabhavalkar as Rao Saab is at his second best after Lage Raho Munnabhai. Of course he is a seasoned performer with many golden feathers in his cap. ARB as Anita Rajan is ok. A nice surprise performance by Govind Namdeo as Hassan Qazi (Thank god he is not roaring this time) is visible. Ravi Kale as Chander is clichéd but not too bad. Sayaji Shinde as Karunesh Kanga is too hyper for his role. Tanisha, Victor Banarjee and Upendra Limaye mark their presence in a small but vital role.

Technically, the sturdy areas are the dazzling direction and charismatic cinematography. The sturdier ones are the exceptional editing and debonair dialogues where Prashant Pandey has done an outstanding working with his pen. The sturdiest though in my view point is the breathtaking background score by Amar Mohile.

On the whole, this high intensity feat is worth a watch.

My verdict – 8/10.

1. Patience.

Last week, I celebrated my first anniversary of blogging. Nonetheless, I have been writing since December 2006 but my first post was published on May 17, 2007.

In this one year long journey, I have composed 41 posts. I never knew in one year I would write so much. I always dreamt of publishing a book for myself. After a mere 14 months of writing, I published a book which had my name as an author.

I would always be pretty my impatient in life. I would always feel, I should achieve the target in no time. Either I wanted everything rapidly or I didn’t want it. My focus would always be on the result. This resulted in lack of concentration on the road towards the destination. Hence, I would tend to give up. Once I would give up, I would happily accept that this is not what I am supposed to do and so it’s good that I gave up. Had it been that I would have continued to carry on; I would have never reached the destination and ultimately would have wasted the time walking.

Whenever I have achieved something in life, I would look back and visualize my entire journey. I could see that I started from no where and have reached somewhere. When I had actually started, I certainly had a target in my mind and also a determination of achieving that target. However, I would have just set my focus on the current step. At the milestone, I would have started working on the next one. In other words, I can say that the main target was forked into smaller targets.

One thing I realize here is all this have always happened only with an objective or survival or a fear of insecurity. Whatever I feel I have achieved was with a firm thinking that if I don’t accomplish this, how will I earn the bread for my living? Let it be education, higher studies, job, investments, etc. I have always been patient for these things.

What about those things in life which I always want to do but somehow they are not in the mandatory list? For all such things, I certainly have a liking to achieve them but either it should be quick or it should come to me with hardly any efforts required. Somehow, for such things I don’t believe in the theory of brick by brick building the house. For all such things that pop up in my mind as a result of some kind of influence, I always want to experience the result instantly. If I am influenced by a sports bike, I want to see it parked outside my apartment in a few hours. If I am influenced by some one playing guitar, I want to see myself on a stage as a guitarist instantly. This is no dream. Hence, it doesn’t happen in reality which results in giving up.

Can I not feel that these things are also vital for my survival? Can I not set up my game plan? Can I not have that patience of going thru the milestones? Let me patiently ask my self and wait for the replies coming from within.

2. Execution.

I would always crib about my busy schedule. In spite of having scope of creating time, I would program my mind saying - I don't have time. This would usually happen when I wanted to procrastinate or put the task on lower priority. I would overlook the scope. On one hand, I would say - I want to do a lot of things in my life and on the other, I would crib about not having time. Also, Did I really have the time to enjoy all the leisurely things I possessed or was I just left with the pride of possessing them? I had programmed my mind to fool myself. Ironically, I didn't have time to create a life which is nothing but a collection of time units.

Each day, I would get 86400 seconds of life. This was the capital. How would I invest it? 1/3rd in sleep - dreaming and relaxing, 1/3rd in earning bread and the rest 1/3rd would be variable. Generally, it would be spent in commuting, eating, extra-working, day dreaming, health concerns, establishing/maintaining relations, arguments, disputes and the list continues. What I really wanted is to spend time with family, friends and above all, myself. Myself, in the sense, to do all the things I always really wanted to. To create an extraordinary future, present was the execution time. An expectation of sudden change from ordinary to extraordinary would be just another foolish thought. Each of the 28800 seconds (the remaining 1/3rd) was required to be invested wisely with a purpose of creating an extraordinary life.

Goal-setting was the primary key for the wise investment. I wanted to learn a lot of things - dance, swimming, meditation. Besides, I wanted to read, write, and work-out on regular basis. I started with categorizing the goals as short-term (< 8 months), mid-term (< 2 years), long-term (< 5 years) and dream (< death). I created a list of goals and put them below either short, mid or long term. The point to be noted here is no matter what category the goal falls into, the implementation time would begin NOW. It's not that the mid-term goal will start only after the accomplishment of short-term goal. At first place, the listing of goals was a difficult task as there were many things I had sometime thought of doing and thereafter they were out of my mind. I wanted to dig and rediscover them. I would like to pen down a list which might help in the rediscovery.

Pursuing further studies.
Writing a book.
Composing poems.
Playing musical instruments.
Learning martial arts.
Singing.
Designing jewelry.
Sports.
Conducting trainings.
Public speaking.
Trekking.
Movie making.
Playwriting.
Globe trotting.
Photography.
Body building.
Interior design.

These goals could be further narrowed down as well. For instance, sports. It could be indoor - chess, table tennis or outdoor - football, baseball; could be adventure sports - car racing, gliding. Ditto, for other goals. These goals could be either a part of current profession or totally far from it. Either ways, they can be set not just with an accomplishment target but also with an objective of excelling.

Dream goal was an abstract but fantastic concept. I wanted to put only one goal in this category. This goal could be anything, literally anything. It could be associated with plain destiny or it could be just about putting efforts or could be a mix of both. Let's see some examples.

Acting in a movie.
Buying a dress from a celebrity auction.
Driving a Rolls Royce.
Publishing an article in a news paper.
Participating in a TV show and winning the prize money.
Winning a lottery.
Flying an aero plane.
Skydiving.
Traveling in space.
Flying over the city in a helicopter.
Dancing on the streets.
Working for a month with my favorite actor as his chauffeur or secretary.

As mentioned earlier, some of the goals may be associated with plain destiny; still I feel the efforts too play an important role. For instance, to win a lottery ticket, I need to put efforts in studying and buying. Nonetheless, whenever a thought about dream-goal appears, one usually feels - If my dream goal is accomplished, I would die peacefully. A happy and a satisfied ending! The important thing is the satisfaction (and not the significance).

At the beginning of implementation (i mean NOW), the mind will start playing its tricks. Let's say, I start working on a short-term goal of writing a book. My mind will instantaneously move my focus towards the end result. It will show me the printed version of my book with a vibrant cover page and so many copies in front of me. This visualization would swiftly make me feel - It's not an easy task to write a book. Where will I find a cover page designer, a printer, publisher for my book? Such queries would start surrounding like an enemy and eventually kill my thought. My mind will start defending by saying - It's not a time to take any hasty decisions. Rather, I should first understand what writing is all about and then start implementing the thought. Hence, it's better if I take a certain portion in the future, dedicate full time in understanding and then start writing the book. This would be a smart investment which shall make me accurate and consistent. In simple sentence, the thought was postponed and probably killed.

What would have happened if I had started writing immediately? I believe that would have been an investment. A perfect step towards the destination! The first written word would have been a second major milestone. The first milestone, of course was the goal of writing the book. Every step I take and every move I make is an investment. The thought of investment might sound ambiguous. The mind will allow to invest but with a craving of some kind of instant result. It will frame the process as a cycle of investment-result-investment-result-investment......result. The real scenario is altogether different. It's like – investment – investment – investment –investment…….. ........result(s). Of course, the intermediate milestones are inevitable.

Let's take an example of earning bread. As written above, I invest 1/3rd of my life after earning it. When do I get the end-result? If I am a daily wage worker I will get it at the end of the day. This is actually a milestone but let's consider this as a result. Still, it didn't happen instantly after investment. Not after an hour of work, I get the result. After continuous efforts of 8 hours, I get it. What happened to the result for the previous 8 hours? Did it not happen? Yes, it did happen. The result did happen but just that it was in the making. An investment towards the destination certainly assures that the result is in the making. A constant investment would result in a consistency.

Gradually, the goal would convert into habit and once it becomes a habit, it takes off at full pace. For instance, once a person gets into habit of consuming alcohol, alcohol starts consuming him. Similarly, once a goal becomes a habit, it will start ruling over the mind and also make sure that the goal is successfully accomplished.

1. U, Me aur Hum.

U, Me aur Hum is a usual story with a bit of an unusual treatment. I really didn’t feel like writing a review after watching the flick as there was nothing much to write. A couple of things which motivated me were - Gleaming direction and Stupefying performance by Devgan couple.

Given a riveting story with a first-rate screenplay, Ajay has a potential to flourish as an immaculate director as he is technically pretty sound and precise. Also, the handling (movement and placement) of camera is done pretty well especially when there was nothing much to expect from cinematography. Kajol is again at her acting best. After such a long break from cinema, it’s not logical to expect such an arty performance delivery. Still, I had a lot of expectations from her and they were rewarded too. Ajay too is dazzling. He looks pretty young and fresh. His unblemished style makes him stand out from so-called bollywood hunks (Khans, Kapoors et al). Although I am a die-hard Ajay-Kajol fan since their earliest movies, the above statements are quite unbiased.

Besides direction, the dialogues are quite mesmerizing. The love quotes used at the start are striking too. I was waiting for a character named Kumar Mangat till the end of the movie but surprisingly, there isn’t any. ha ha ha. To readers who don’t know Kumar Mangat is Ajay’s secretary (in real life) and his name is used in most of their productions till date. On the whole, a well-made bollywood masala flick with a typically flowing story. Nothing so grand but still worth a glance.

My Verdict: 6/10

6. Race.

The burmawalas are back; rapidly after Naqaab. It really amazes me how they manage making movies so quick, yet agile. Kudos to their intellect as such kinda confusing scripts are not too easy to handle. Although, one knows what a characteristic Abbas-Mustan movie will be and this one classically is, still it glues the audience to their chairs till the curtain-fall. All the time one knows that something strange is coming up in the very next moment yet 'what' is still the question. This flick is beyond a double-cross thriller; can term as a multi-cross one :)

Stunning camera work, breathtaking locales, first-rate costumes, splendid performances and above all a super fast pace - These are the highlights of the entire fare. Multiple twists and turns are dramatic but also digestive. Editing is a vital area in such movies which is slightly overlooked. Musically astounding but yet quite ill-timed songs also kinda apply brakes to the pace. These are the only two flip sides.

There was a time when Saif would be either one of those funny guyz or a next door chap in the movie. Times have changed. Post DCH, this chappie has gradually turned in to a ruling heart-throb. In last few years, he has taken a few movies (Hum Tum, Salaam Namaste, Tara Rum Pum) entirely on his shoulders. Race is a movie he takes on his head heart and soul. Akshaye has performed brilliantly but his role is quite monotonous and clichéd (alike Humraaz, Deewangee, Naqaab). Anilbhai is an icing on the cake; quite appropriate and natural with his witty character. The comic addition by johny, raghavendra and gurpreet adds the required sugar. Nothing great from girls except seducing movements (bips), inviting appearance (kats) and humourous 'dumbo' performance (sam). Dalip in his side-lined villainous avatar looks pretty ok.

Net-net, Race (could have also been named as Chase) is more-or-less viewable cos of the strong up-sides and the treatment by Abbas-Mustan who reign their specialty cinema.

My Verdict - 6/10.

5. Black and White.

This motion picture, although named Black and White for a different reason, is quite a colorful one. Ghai, it seems is back with a vengeance; a vengeance to his spoiled creative image (post devastating Yaadein and atrocious Kisna). I had a feeling that Ghai must have given up as a director. He has proved me wrong. Black and white is not only a directorial comeback but also a rediscovery of ingenuity, which he already possessed but was lost. Unlike any Ghai flick, Black and White is technically and visually not an exceptional one but still an incredible piece of work when it comes to the treatment of such a sensitive subject.

It gives altogether a diverse insight to terrorism. Terrorism cannot come to an end merely by gunning down the terrorist. On the contrary, it results in rising of many others. This is Ghai’s message to the world. The climax part where Kapoor says – “They send us a suicide bomber to cause a chaos in our nation and we are sending back a human being” is thought provoking.

I have always looked upon Kapoor as a director’s actor. Ghai has extracted his potential to the fullest here. He has delivered an excessively magnificent performance. In his lingo, I can term it as a zzhakkaass feat. The speechless expressions on his face during the heartbreaking scene (where his wife passes away) makes difficult to control the tear shed. Shah has enacted even more marvelously than she looks. Sharma looks stunning too; also has given proper judgment to her small role. Tanvir, who plays a vital role, leaves a lasting impression by managing himself in versatile scenes. Above all, Sinha – the new kid on the block is the most promising discovery of the recent times. He has delivered a breath-taking performance. Almost all the intense scenes in the movie are in his kitty. He has thrived at each one.

The leg-pulling of news channels has become a mandatory part in current films but to a certain extent is necessary too. Besides, there are a few sarcastic scenes which are worth noticing. Politics, Power and ultimately Money has been shown as the driving force for the spread of communal differences and is cliché.

The lyrics and music aren’t that bad. Editing is brilliant. Cinematography is ok. The black and white scenes are fabulously captured though. Once again, the finest part of the entire movie is its direction. By and large, black and white is an evocative fare with a sane conclusion.

My verdict - 8/10.

4. Sin Unseen.

There are umpteen variable ways of defining an act. At times, they contradict too. An act may be categorized as nice by some while vice by others. Broadly, an act falls in either of these two categories. Usually, an act falling in the latter category is termed as a sinful act. Precisely, an act causing direct or indirect harm to anyone is a sin. This is a general definition.

Most of us avoid doing a sinful act. Even I do but do I really comprehend what is a sinful act? Besides, after understanding, do I really implement the idea of staying away from it? A shallow thinking makes me feel that I am pretty much a harmless person. I do not cause damage in anyone’s life. On the contrary, I really engage myself in doing some good activities recurrently. I do support and toil for a social cause. To a certain extent, I am a philanthropist too.

Well, sounds amazing but probably at a superficial level. Let me take myself to a deeper level and think about it. Charity begins at home. This is a well-known phrase. Do I live my life without causing any harm to any of my family members? Further, what about my life outside home? For instance – work, study, social circle, etc.

I might be donating a few bucks every month in a charity but on the other hand do I check if I am exploiting my servant (or any one who works for me and is paid by me) and paying him less than he actually deserves? If I donate an X amount but also do exploitation worth an X amount (only considering the money part), then doesn’t it nullify my charity?

Life is full of nonstop actions – physical, verbal, mental. If I perform any act which makes me feel happy but also gives me a pinch in some corner of my heart, I have 2 choices – either to overlook it or to act on it. Nevertheless, the choice may be mine, but the pinch still persists. The occurrence of such pinches is evident in cases where I have been unethical. There are many cases where in I can escape from the offense by offering a bribe. This is usually followed by a feeling of contentment but what about the pinch? Is it disregarded?

Anyhow, at the end of day, if I feel that I have lived my day without a pinch, I am a success.

3. Transcend.

I am pretty much satisfied in my life.
Life is wonderful.
I am doing great.
Everything is smooth.
Nothing could be better than this.

These are some sentences which I keep on hearing from my friends and most of the times from within. What makes such feeling occur? May be, I am pretty much happy with my current phase of life.

“What next?” Does this question arise? If at all, do I really have a deep consideration on the same? It might happen that this question arises but is usually overlooked. Why? Again, a similar reply. I am so very happy, content and satisfied with my current life that I don’t need to transcend. I want to continue living the same.

Am I sensing that overlooking the question is making me overlook the stagnancy which is on its way? Am I carried away to such an extent that sooner or later the state of inertia will occur? What after that?

On the other hand, aren’t there so many things is life which I want to do, rather I feel like doing but eventually am overshadowing those feelings with a comment – “I am happy and ok now. Why should I start burning my fingers in doing a new stuff?”

Am I looking at 2 major loss areas here?
1. I am flowing towards sluggishness
2. I am avoiding things which I really want to do.

Of course, if I am living with a feeling shown in initial few sentences, nothing like that. It’s a very positive life but if I am neglecting the unanticipated hindrances or being impassionate about my likings, I might be leading myself to misery.

Here is the thin wall of dissimilarity between satisfaction and contentment. I can always be satisfied with what I am and what I have but I need to develop the hunger for enhancement and diversification. This will flourish the challenge-accepting persona within me. This will “Awaken the Giant within”. I will strive for constant improvement. Transcend is the keyword, which literally means “rise above”, “go beyond”, “exceed” and so on.

As soon as the period (.) after the initial 5 statements is replaced by “but”, TRANSCEND approaches.

2. Certificate.

Whenever some one praises me, I feel on the top of the world. Why do I feel so? The most probable reason is I am happy to know that someone has realized my worth. What if I hold an appraisable quality but no one is bothered to praise me? I will be waiting for some one to come and admire, isn’t it?

Is there really a point in waiting for someone to come and tell me the thing which I possess and also I know that I possess? Also, is it necessary that each one around will commend after knowing about it.

Some might just keep mum while some may even condemn. Will I feel sad at this point? If yes, why? Why do I want each one around me to authenticate and award me a verbal certificate for what I already am? Probably, I am expecting people to encourage me so that I can groom in the respective area. Am I honestly looking for this or just am greedy for approbation? Do I just want to look good and following that, consider myself superior about it?

Isn’t my own certificate enough for me? Does it not serve the purpose of encouragement? Also, doesn’t this hold true for all the cases where I just rely on other person’s opinion?

PS: The only intension here is to avoid the feeling of dejection when I am overlooked.

1. Hopes Gone, India Won.

That was the piece of assault IKP’s death-weapon would have been looking for during the entire combat. What a splendid triumph this was?

A spectacular start by swift attacker RVU and gifted SRT in the initial 20 fire-filled rounds had won half the hearts. One more exceptional illustration by SRT. Almost indispensable combatant, this one is. Further, the other gladiators - YYS and MSD demonstrated a good show with their wooden swords. Nonetheless, the combination of acceleration and defense was not striking in the final 10 crucial attacks. They should have focused more on steadiness with temperamental touch rather than perpendicular acceleration with lack of resistance. Still, the finishing numbers (258) weren’t too bad either.

Now was the turn to explode the bombs; rather exploding them at accurate places with explicit timing. This act was pretty much magnificently executed by PKS. After uprooting the existence of ACG, RTP and MJC, he had dominated the scuffle. A cake walk victory was apparently shaping up for Company India. However, this was not the precise time for any conclusion. The mammoth MLH and the dexterous AS were yet to roar and were visibly firm to create a catastrophe in their opponent’s tent. On the other hand, the fast and the furious Lions of Punjab - YYS and HSS were on fire and the consequence was MLH’s adieu following anguish in the Aussie troop. Somehow, the hopes were still alive as MEKH and JRH were yet to strive besides the aggressive AS, who was already thriving.

The best part of the battle was the final 2 attacks where Aussies had to achieve 22 shots in 12 pieces. The enraged SKS and the rapid IKP were resolute. They wanted to put an end to the bloodbath by seizing the conquest. They almost did so by slicing off the tail-enders MGJ and NWB. Hopes (JRH) was the last hope for Aussies. At this juncture, they required 10 shots in 3 pieces which was thorny but attainable.

Here comes the IKP’s massacre bomb, shredding off hopeful JRH and leaving RTP dumbfounded. Hopes gone, India won.

PS: Abbreviation unfold
IKP - Pathan, RVU - Uthappa, SRT - Tendulkar, YYS - Yuvraj, MSD - Dhoni, PKS - Praveen Kumar, ACG - Gilchrist, RTP - Ponting, MJC - Clarke, MLH - Hayden, AS - Symonds, HSS - Harbhajan, MEKH - Hussey, JRH - Hopes, SKS - Sreesanth, MGJ - Johnson, NWB - Bracken

4. Journey.

ATTITUDES are more important than facts – Dr Karl Menninger.

I do come across so many people who tell me – “You always say, BE POSITIVE but what is the gain?” I ask them what the gain in being NEGATIVE is.

Earlier, I use to wonder what a positive thought can do to me. Off late, I started digging more on that - If not positive then what I will think. Of course, it would be negative. Have I ever thought what a negative thought can do to me? Then, why do I keep on thinking the same about positive. Given a choice, why should I not think positive always?

Also, at times I feel what is negative and does it really exist? Isn’t it just the absence of positive? I feel, there is nothing like darkness, it’s just the absence of light. Well, but it is still called “darkness”, though. Isn’t it? True, but the focus is on darkness if I think about it. On the other hand, if I think, it’s the absence of light, my focus will be on “light” and I will strive to get it somehow.

This is a mind game. Mind just understands pictures. Whatever I say or may be think, mind will create a picture and as it is the controlling media, it will concentrate on the picture and accordingly act upon. Let’s assume that there is a problem and I am looking for a solution. Now, what if I concentrate on the problem area? Mind will constantly create a picture of problem within and make me always feel down. If I transcend and think about the solution, mind will start acting upon.

This develops a bundle of self-confidence and makes the mind feel superior. A superior mind will always invite superior thought and reject those gloomy ones. Auto-suggestions start flowing through and a world full of positivism is created within.

Some folks ask me, what is the power of prayer? I say – Prayer is the most vital element of positivism. I define prayer as an input to myself in front of any positive source. I can get the energy by prayer or from the source in front of which I pray. That’s all. Rest is my task. Energy is everywhere. It’s all a matter of faith, which source do I choose? Hence, prayer with self-action does work.

Also, Prayer can be thought of as a commitment; a commitment in front of a source I have faith in. Since I have faith in that source, it implies that I will not break any trust from my side either. I can also commit myself in front of my near-dear ones and/or throw a challenge. This really helps in boosting up.

A thought about postponing the activity will take me away from positivism. I will start getting the thought of refraining from the activity immediately after the thought of postponing it. Eventually, I will start disliking the activity and in no time, the thought will go out of the mind, may be forever. This is where a phobia comes into picture. A new phobia has started shaping up.

This happens with a prevailing phobia as well. For instance, swimming. The fear of water exists. Now, more I postpone the idea of getting rid of it, it will grow stiffer.
To get rid of any phobias, the first step is building an attitude. The first step is a feeling of I CAN and the next is I WILL.

Some men see things as they are and say “why”;
I dream of things that never were and say “why not”;

The above lines from GB Shaw are awe-inspiring. Positive thinking creates a feeling of I CAN and the next step is initiation of implementation, which is I WILL. If I think about a feeling, I can feel it actually and once I get into “I CAN” domain, I can step up and swiftly enter into the “I WILL” domain. This transition is like a kick-start of an automobile. The journey has begun.

Do I realize that all that happened till now has happened inside? Inside the mind. The journey begun in the mind and now it will continue outside. The concrete implementation is in the outside world with a constant velocity from within.

I call this as a journey from Positive thinking towards Realistic implementation.

I would like to quote a couple of lines from a famous hindi poem followed by it’s translation.

Kuch bhi nahi Asamambhav jag me, Sab kuch sambhav ho sakta hai,
Kaarya Hetu yedi kamar baandh lo, to Sab kuch ho sakta hai.
Tu Sooraj hai pagle phir kyon, Andhakar se darta hai,
Tu to apni ek kiran se, Jag pradipta kar sakta hai.

Everything is possible in this world.
If I start working on an objective, everything can happen.
You are sun, then why are you afraid of darkness.
You can enlighten the entire world by just a ray of your light.

The entire poem is pretty stimulating and worth implementing.

3. Completeness.

Completeness is being 100%. Sounds excellent but being what? This is the question of a lifetime.

Who will think over it? Of course, it’s me. So, I need to ask myself, what I want to be and Am I really being what I want to be?

I am back to square one. This is where all this started with a topic titled “Ask Yourself”
(Right at the beginning of the very first blog titled "So What")

Completeness, according to me is just that. It doesn’t have to do with “everything” or “nothing”. It is just being what I want to be and doing what I want to.

Adding “Complete” before “Responsible” makes me Complete Responsible and so on for Independence, Celebration, Forgiveness et al. I can be Completely Independent or Completely Celebrative or a combination of these and all above and may be the highest of all, Completely Complete, rather COMPLETE.

2. Jodha Akbar.

Expectation was one thing which I left home when I went to see this period drama titled Jodha Akbar. Although, as per previews and the background of the production house, cast and crew, it was supposed to be a highly recommended flick, I had gone there for the only reason that I could comment on it before anyone does.

Stunning performance by Roshan as J M Akbar and impeccable direction by Gowariker were 2 things for which I whole-heartedly give a standing approbation.

Technically, this one was a pretty edifying fare made on a grand scale with a vertical confidence of downright success and turns out to be true to a greater extent.

On the editing front, I personally feel, it was a bit lengthy though. Nevertheless, the spectacular sets, flamboyant costumes and dazzling jewelry made the entire flick a visual treat.

The commentary by Bachchan Sr was a delicacy to ears. Rahman’s music was enchanting as well. Besides Roshan, there were some sterling performances by Arun as Maham Anga and Sood as Sujamal. Although Rai was eye-catching, I was expecting a mammoth feat from her side, which was kinda missing.

Overall, a Ashutosh Gowariker extravaganza.

My Verdict - 8/10

1. Influence.

At this point, I don't know what the purpose of life is. Of course life is made of small purposes at times but I feel nothing comes closer to what is going on at this point.

The fact is I am pretty much happy, content, satisfied with what I am where I am how I am. No cribbing whatsoever but still I know this is not the purpose.

Honestly, I don't feel like giving 100% to my work. (Infact, I m not giving 100% as well)

I am focusing on work since I give more than 1/3rd of my life to it. There ain't anything which
makes me feel that I should grow in the so called professional world, be a part of the rat-race as I haven't come across anything which makes me break this belief - There is nothing on the TOP.

Life, I experience, is pretty much influential.....

A patriotic movie makes me feel for a while that I should do everything for the nation in which I took birth. A beggar makes me feel I should get down from my car feed him and talk to him. A visit to an orphanage/old-age home makes me feel I should very much regularly visit that place and spend a lot of time there. A business idea makes me feel that I should quit what I am doing and mint money. Stock trading makes me feel I should look forward for high risk, high returns. Parties and Clubbing makes me feel I should just chill and hangout. Dating with a female makes me feel I should just spend my time relaxing on a sea shore or sitting at a wonderful sea-side restaurant for hours. Spiritual surroundings make me feel that I should give up all the above and entirely engross myself in the self.

I am not spending time in finding the purpose of my life. It might just happen that once I realize the purpose of my life. That moment onwards, I will live that purpose and no influence will work.

As of now, I am enjoying life and having a great time and shall continue to do.

Have I diluted a lot all of a sudden? May be, but that was not intended to influence :)

1. Love.

Love is all about caring, understanding, helping, expressing the emotion and blah blah. This is what I keep on hearing from many people and at times, from within. If I get any feeling about someone, which delights me, I define it as love.

I really don’t understand how I can define love. I feel Love is just Love. In fact, Love is not even a process. Love is "Love", not "To Love". I don’t believe there is any adjective or any explanation for it.

Some may say Love is unconditional. This means, there is something "conditional" as well. Isn’t love unconditional by default? Do I need to put the word "unconditional" in front of it?

Also, it’s heard that in Love, people give freedom to each other. Whom can I give Freedom to? To a person whom I’ve tied, right?

True Love. What is a False love then? Ditto for Pure Love.

I love LOVE :)